A Fight Worth Having

 Hi Friends,
  I want to talk to you about something I've been mulling over lately, and something that should be an on-going work in progress for each and every one of us.  Often times as I get to know people, and I begin to share some of my life story with them, things like the loss of my child, my being kicked out of the church, my husband moving out the day our child was born, my son's emotional and behavioral problems, etc, I get asked the question, "How are you still so happy?"  I usually jokingly reply that it's a mixture of Jesus and tequila (which is, for the most part, true.)  But there is one other very important component:  forgiveness and an unwillingness to allow bitterness to rule in my life.
  You see, for most of us, it is natural to want to hold onto the hurts that life or other people throw at us.  We ask "Why?" And we claim things aren't fair.  We want to wallow in self-pity and get others to rally around us and our side of the story.  But I learned a long time ago that this is a very self-destructive way to live.  Holding on to hurts and keeping them in our hearts day after day until they become a stubborn root of bitterness will only destroy us.
  The only way to truly be free is to forgive, whether that person deserves it or not, whether they ask for forgiveness or not.  You see, forgiveness is not based on a person's worthiness.  Forgiveness is based on our identity.  I am aware that I, as a person, have made mistakes, have hurt other people, and have done things which make me less than perfect.  I also believe that I have been saved by the Grace of a perfect God who loved me enough to forgive me, even though I didn't deserve it.  This knowledge is what empowers me to forgive others.  How can I, knowing that I have been forgiven, not extend that same forgiveness to others around me?  After all, it's not about how worthy I was to be forgiven.  It's about how gracious He was.  In the same way, it's not about how worthy the person who hurt me was but about how gracious I can be.  And it is this graciousness that has set me free to live in peace.
  Because I choose to love and forgive, I can smile in the face of those who have hurt me, and I can go on living my life, knowing that their negativity does not need to hold me down.  Because I choose to love and forgive, I can rebuild relationships and forge bonds which were previously broken.
  Is this an easy task?  No.  I can promise you that I have to wrestle on a regular basis with anger, disappointment, and bitterness.  But I have made the choice that I will not allow these emotions to rule my life or dictate my behavior.
   Forgiveness is worth fighting for.  Your emotional freedom is a priceless thing.  I encourage you today, if you are holding on to past hurts, against others, against God, against yourself, that you make the decision to let them go.  You may not feel forgiving and loving at that moment, but day by day, as you choose to extend love and grace, you will see yourself change.  You will see the bondage of anger and bitterness fall off your life, and you will live with a new kind of freedom.  We don't have to hold on to hurts and keep score.  We can live freely in the knowledge of who we are.  I am forgiven, therefore, I forgive.  Step into a new level of emotional freedom today.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.

Experience

Good Morning Friends,
 
  Lately I have been really wrestling with and trying to immerse myself in the concept of viewing everything in life as experience.  The good, the bad, the mundane, and the down right heart wrenchingly painful things are all experiences.  And if we can learn to engross ourselves in them fully, I think we can learn to live more and gain from these things more.  It is as Morrie stated in Tuesdays with Morrie, "By throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely."
  People who have had a brush with death view life differently.  They view each moment as a gift, each breath as an opportunity.  They appreciate what others take for granted.  They live with a sense of wonder at the world around them.  It is ironic that one must experience death in order to truly live.  If only we could somehow learn to live like this without the trauma of some near-death experience.  But it seems in this life that we don't understand beauty without pain.  It is as if the shadows help us understand light, and because of this, we can learn to embrace the darkness, the pain, and the near-death we face because it will help us to open our eyes and hearts to light, beauty, and life.
  I challenge and encourage you today.  If you are going through something painful, frustrating, or difficult, learn to embrace the season you're in.  Learn to walk through it, and the experience will make the good moments that much sweeter.  Dive in!  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.

104 Things

Hi Friends,
  A few years ago a person I look up to gave the challenge to make a list of 103 things I wanted to accomplish during my lifetime. I started working on my list, but I felt like I couldn't possibly come up with that many things to do, so I enlisted the help of a very ambitious companion, and we made the list.  Some ideas were mine:  Go to the Victoria Secret Show in London and Paris. Some ideas were his: Dinner in New York, Breakfast in Stockholm. And a few were ideas we thought of simultaneously:  Ride a boat down the Mississippi like Huck Finn.
  The great thing about having help with this list is that it pushed me to set goals that I never would have had faith enough in myself to try for. Also, this list gave me things to work towards. Some were big, once in a lifetime goals:  Work on a project with Jessica Alba (by the way, if anyone knows her, I'm still waiting to accomplish that). And some were small:  Successfully grow a plant (NO, I have not accomplished that either.)  But it wasn't the size of the goal that mattered.  It was the idea that life is meant to be lived and lived fully. We were never meant to live to work to pay bills and do it all over again the next day, year, month, forever. No, God made us for bigger and better, but for some reason we play it safe, take mundane jobs, and fall into the same routine until we go to our final destination. I, for one, am not ok with that.
  Since writing that list almost three years ago, I have checked off 8 things from the list, including one that I did today. And the funny thing is, that no matter how small or inconsequential the thing may have seemed on the list, getting to add it to my list of life experiences has been exciting and fulfilling in it's own way. Today, I paid $6 to ride a camel for approximately two minutes. Was this earth shattering?  Nope. But was it awesome to say, "I did it." You bet.
  Some of the other goals I have checked off include, Publish a Book (Drake the Dragon April 2019), Make good cookies (No, I do not have any proof, and this will probably never happen again, so you will have to take my word for it...December 2017), Enjoy our wedding and reception (October 2016), Start a successful blog (What K.W.'s Thinking...April 2018), Take Aden to Disney (January 2019), and Ride a Banana Boat (August 2017).
   But a crazy thing happened on the day I decided to finally ride a Banana Boat. My husband and I happened to be the only passengers that morning, and so our driver decided to have a lot of fun, whipping around turns and flying over waves, trying to throw us off.  When we got a good distance from shore he stopped the ski do and asked us, "Do you want to jump off and go for a swim?"  Being that I'm not a great swimmer and also don't like water that I can't see the bottom of, I quickly shook my head no.  But that whole ride back to shore, and ever since that day I have had that moment burned into my brain.  You know why? Because I let fear stop me from a life experience.
  When I got home that night, I added a 104th item to my list, and I made a promise to myself.  If I ever get the chance again, I will not say no.  104 is, Swim in the open ocean.   You see, it's time we stop letting fear of the unknown hold us back from our lives. It's time we dove in with both feet and embraced the moments we've been given. I challenge you today to step beyond the wall of ordinary and live a life full of experiences, big and little. We were never made to live in fear.  So grab an adventurous friend, make a list, and chart a course for a more abundant life. I'll be out there chasing dreams and catching waves with you.  I can't wait to see you succeed.

~K.W.