Something Deeper

  

 Good morning, Friends! I've been thinking and talking about self-care this week, about the idea of loving and nourishing ourselves so that we can be filled up enough to go out into this big wild world and pour forth that love onto others who are deeply hurting and in need. But what does it really look like to love and care for ourselves? Culture has created this "self-care" trend to be something consumeristic, the so called, "Treat Yo-Self" mentality. And while I love Parks and Rec, and a good splurge as well as the next, I wonder if there's not something deeper to self-care than the retailers would have us believe. Sarah Wilson says it beautifully in her book, This One Wild and Precious Life. "What if instead of self-care we focused on caring for our souls?"

  Caring for our souls is something different entirely. It requires us to work from the inside out. No more buying a facemask and a mani-pedi to make everything alright. No, caring for our souls requires us to dive beneath the surface, to unearth the thoughts, feelings, emotions, and mindsets which are helping or hindering us, and to sit with ourselves for a while in all of our humanness. 

  Caring for our souls means seeking out truth, growth, and life. It means we must do the hard work of uprooting what is holding us back. And unfortunately, a new handbag or pair of shoes won't do that for us. Now, I'm not judging here. If anything, I'm speaking to myself. For a long time, my go to when things weren't working in my life was to buy something. I would go to the store in a frenzy looking for that one thing that would fix my life, a new set of running shoes, a new outfit, the perfect makeup, a vitamin that would make me feel great all the time, a new planner that would ensure I hit all my goals. But the truth is, none of these things made the problem go away. Society has taught us that if we just buy the next right thing our lives will be perfect. But, while there are helpful tools, books, and items for sale, none of those will do the work to create the life we want and need. Only we have the ability to do that, and it requires us to do the work of caring for ourselves enough to get tough with ourselves. 

  Here are a few of the things I've found are often hindering me when I start to feel the need to look for a quick fix:

1.  Fear - Too often we (and by we, I mean me) let the cares of this world pile up. We start to worry about how we will pay the bills, or if we should be preparing for food shortages, or how we can save the planet, or how to make sure our kids end up as decent human beings, and we start to shut down. We live from this place of fear and scarcity, and those are never good places to make decisions from. 

     Whenever I catch myself living from a place of fear, I have to come back to the truth. "There is no fear in love. Perfect love casts out fear." (1 John 4:18a) I have to remind myself that I was not created to live in fear, and the only way to truly live is from love. I have faith in a perfect love from my creator, and by extension, I can live fully in that love without fear. When I approach the world and my decisions from a place of love, the scarcity and anxiety mindset goes away, and I can get back to who I need to be. 

2.  Selfishness - Often times when we find ourselves living small and encumbered, it's because we have gotten tunnel vision. We have become so focused on "I, me, mine" that we forget we aren't the only people in the world. It can be easy to get on Instagram and look at everyone else's picture-perfect lives and start to feel pretty sorry for ourselves. But all it takes is a homeless person on the corner, a picture of a refugee child on the television, or a glimpse into the lives and struggles of our neighbors to help us see that most of the time, things aren't as bad as they seem. Ironically enough, the cure for our souls in this case is to be with, listen to, and love others. We have to get out of our own yard to see the grass isn't actually greener on the other side. 

3. Ungratefulness - I'm sure you've heard the expression, "count your blessings." And while it's easy to say that, often times we forget to do it. I was reminded of a beautiful quote this week from Albert Einstein. "There are only two ways to live your life. One is as if nothing is a miracle. The other is as if everything is." 

     Too often we fall into the first camp. We cease to be amazed by a sunrise, a bird chirping, breath in our lungs, and instead we complain. Gratitude truly is the cure for all that ails us. Training ourselves to be in awe of life and all that we've been given will truly change our perspective. Here's some things to consider: 178,000 people die each day around the world. If you're reading this, be thankful. Here's another one: 43 million people in the world are living with blindness. If you can see these words, be thankful. The list could go on for days of all the things we have to be thankful for, running water, food, homes, electricity, education, etc. Often, we simply need to take the time to appreciate what we have. It puts things back into perspective. 

  This week, if you are needing a little self-care, you can buy the latte, get the massage, or shop til you drop. But while you're at it, take the time to truly care for your soul. Dig deep and see what you need. It probably doesn't come from a store. Most likely it is rest, love, perspective, and gratitude which will heal us from the inside out. Take the time to get quiet and ask yourself the deep questions. You might just find some truth which will set you free. I love you friends, and I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Enduring the Loss

     Hello Friends. This week I have been thinking a lot about loss. Yesterday was the 14 year anniversary of the loss of my daughter, Chelsea. And so, my mind has been drawn to this idea of what it means to lose those we love, but not only those people we love, but places and things. I have been wrestling with the idea of change and of letting go, and of how we endure, move through, and even thrive with loss. 

    You see, loss is a part of life, at least on this side of eternity. Death and decay are a constant force in this world. And they are forces we were never made to live with. When God created this world, everything was supposed to live on eternally. It was perfect. There was no pain and loss. But after the fall of mankind, the introduction of sin and death brought with it the continual pain of loss in our lives in some fashion or another. (Genesis 1-3)

    I am young by most standards, and yet I have suffered the loss of numerous family members, close friends gone too early, pets, jobs, relationships, and places and things I have loved. Each loss takes a toll on us, and I believe that grief is a healthy and necessary process to our healing. However, after we have suffered the pain of loss, we are left with a choice to make. We can grieve what was and become bitter and shriveled, refusing to move on, closing ourselves off to the world. Or, we can choose to accept loss, move through the process of grief, celebrate what was and remain open and loving to the world and what will be. Natalie Goldberg says it this way. "If we look at the state of the world, shutting down seems logical. But to truly live we have no choice but to keep unfolding, even in the face of devastation." (The Great Spring) 

    And so, I want to encourage you. If you have suffered loss, of a loved one, of a dream, of a way of life, as so many have in these last few years especially, don't shut yourself off. Don't give up. Keep moving forward. Celebrate what was, remember and reflect, but keep your eyes on the horizon. The temptation is to believe the whispers that everything good has died, that the best days are behind us, and only pain lies ahead. But when we spend all our time looking back, we forget that there are beautiful places on the road ahead. We become stuck in the dense fog and mired in our own sadness. We must look forward. We must cling to our belief that the future is better than the past. But even this comes with the realization that there will be more loss and pain ahead. And even so, the journey is still worth it. 

    Today, reflect on and celebrate those people and seasons you have loved. But don't forget to move forward, with arms and heart wide open to the people and places that will be. The best is yet to come, and as long as you are still here, there is more life to live. Celebrate what was, embrace what is, and look forward to what will be. I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.