Stages

  I used to think there were two different phases in life.  I believed you were either climbing up a mountain (conquering new goals, pushing through a struggle, growing and changing), or you were at the mountain top (celebrating your success, living the high life, loving every minute.)  I thought that life was a constant ebb and flow back and forth between these two.  But I've learned as I've moved through life that there is a third phase, and this is a phase I would like to call, the "flat land" or "middle ground" for lack of a better term.  This is a phase in life where things are not overly difficult.  You aren't fighting a battle or struggling each step of the way.  They also aren't "peak" experiences.  You aren't waking up each day filled with wonder and amazement at how good things are.  These are days when, you know you are in the right place, you know you are headed in the right direction, and you know you need to just keep moving.  Things in the flat land can seem rather monotonous, and it is here that we can be tempted to do one of two things:  complain because things are "boring"  or, get distracted with things we don't need to be doing.
  I would imagine this is the phase the Israelites were in as they crossed the desert to the Promise Land.  They had already climbed the mountain and fought the battle (slavery, escaping Egypt), but they had not yet reached the mountain top (the Promised Land flowing with milk and honey).  They knew they were where they needed to be, and all they really had to do was keep moving in the right direction.  But instead of just following God one step at a time, they got hung up.  They began to grumble and complain. (Exodus 16-17) They got distracted trying to create their own "mountain top" experiences (ie…inventing a festival to celebrate a golden cow).  (Exodus 32)  Ultimately their grumbling and distraction turned an 11 day journey into a 40 year obstacle which kept them from God's plan.
  Are you on "middle ground" today?  You may not have your dream house or your dream job yet.  You may not have reached your ultimate goal in life.  But sometimes all that is required of us is to stay the course and keep moving forward following God.  Do not allow yourself to be discouraged or distracted today.  Open your eyes to see the beauty in the process, and keep putting one foot in front of the other.  Keep moving towards where you are called to be. I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.

A Fight Worth Having

 Hi Friends,
  I want to talk to you about something I've been mulling over lately, and something that should be an on-going work in progress for each and every one of us.  Often times as I get to know people, and I begin to share some of my life story with them, things like the loss of my child, my being kicked out of the church, my husband moving out the day our child was born, my son's emotional and behavioral problems, etc, I get asked the question, "How are you still so happy?"  I usually jokingly reply that it's a mixture of Jesus and tequila (which is, for the most part, true.)  But there is one other very important component:  forgiveness and an unwillingness to allow bitterness to rule in my life.
  You see, for most of us, it is natural to want to hold onto the hurts that life or other people throw at us.  We ask "Why?" And we claim things aren't fair.  We want to wallow in self-pity and get others to rally around us and our side of the story.  But I learned a long time ago that this is a very self-destructive way to live.  Holding on to hurts and keeping them in our hearts day after day until they become a stubborn root of bitterness will only destroy us.
  The only way to truly be free is to forgive, whether that person deserves it or not, whether they ask for forgiveness or not.  You see, forgiveness is not based on a person's worthiness.  Forgiveness is based on our identity.  I am aware that I, as a person, have made mistakes, have hurt other people, and have done things which make me less than perfect.  I also believe that I have been saved by the Grace of a perfect God who loved me enough to forgive me, even though I didn't deserve it.  This knowledge is what empowers me to forgive others.  How can I, knowing that I have been forgiven, not extend that same forgiveness to others around me?  After all, it's not about how worthy I was to be forgiven.  It's about how gracious He was.  In the same way, it's not about how worthy the person who hurt me was but about how gracious I can be.  And it is this graciousness that has set me free to live in peace.
  Because I choose to love and forgive, I can smile in the face of those who have hurt me, and I can go on living my life, knowing that their negativity does not need to hold me down.  Because I choose to love and forgive, I can rebuild relationships and forge bonds which were previously broken.
  Is this an easy task?  No.  I can promise you that I have to wrestle on a regular basis with anger, disappointment, and bitterness.  But I have made the choice that I will not allow these emotions to rule my life or dictate my behavior.
   Forgiveness is worth fighting for.  Your emotional freedom is a priceless thing.  I encourage you today, if you are holding on to past hurts, against others, against God, against yourself, that you make the decision to let them go.  You may not feel forgiving and loving at that moment, but day by day, as you choose to extend love and grace, you will see yourself change.  You will see the bondage of anger and bitterness fall off your life, and you will live with a new kind of freedom.  We don't have to hold on to hurts and keep score.  We can live freely in the knowledge of who we are.  I am forgiven, therefore, I forgive.  Step into a new level of emotional freedom today.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.

Experience

Good Morning Friends,
 
  Lately I have been really wrestling with and trying to immerse myself in the concept of viewing everything in life as experience.  The good, the bad, the mundane, and the down right heart wrenchingly painful things are all experiences.  And if we can learn to engross ourselves in them fully, I think we can learn to live more and gain from these things more.  It is as Morrie stated in Tuesdays with Morrie, "By throwing yourself into these emotions, by allowing yourself to dive in, all the way, over your head even, you experience them fully and completely."
  People who have had a brush with death view life differently.  They view each moment as a gift, each breath as an opportunity.  They appreciate what others take for granted.  They live with a sense of wonder at the world around them.  It is ironic that one must experience death in order to truly live.  If only we could somehow learn to live like this without the trauma of some near-death experience.  But it seems in this life that we don't understand beauty without pain.  It is as if the shadows help us understand light, and because of this, we can learn to embrace the darkness, the pain, and the near-death we face because it will help us to open our eyes and hearts to light, beauty, and life.
  I challenge and encourage you today.  If you are going through something painful, frustrating, or difficult, learn to embrace the season you're in.  Learn to walk through it, and the experience will make the good moments that much sweeter.  Dive in!  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.

104 Things

Hi Friends,
  A few years ago a person I look up to gave the challenge to make a list of 103 things I wanted to accomplish during my lifetime. I started working on my list, but I felt like I couldn't possibly come up with that many things to do, so I enlisted the help of a very ambitious companion, and we made the list.  Some ideas were mine:  Go to the Victoria Secret Show in London and Paris. Some ideas were his: Dinner in New York, Breakfast in Stockholm. And a few were ideas we thought of simultaneously:  Ride a boat down the Mississippi like Huck Finn.
  The great thing about having help with this list is that it pushed me to set goals that I never would have had faith enough in myself to try for. Also, this list gave me things to work towards. Some were big, once in a lifetime goals:  Work on a project with Jessica Alba (by the way, if anyone knows her, I'm still waiting to accomplish that). And some were small:  Successfully grow a plant (NO, I have not accomplished that either.)  But it wasn't the size of the goal that mattered.  It was the idea that life is meant to be lived and lived fully. We were never meant to live to work to pay bills and do it all over again the next day, year, month, forever. No, God made us for bigger and better, but for some reason we play it safe, take mundane jobs, and fall into the same routine until we go to our final destination. I, for one, am not ok with that.
  Since writing that list almost three years ago, I have checked off 8 things from the list, including one that I did today. And the funny thing is, that no matter how small or inconsequential the thing may have seemed on the list, getting to add it to my list of life experiences has been exciting and fulfilling in it's own way. Today, I paid $6 to ride a camel for approximately two minutes. Was this earth shattering?  Nope. But was it awesome to say, "I did it." You bet.
  Some of the other goals I have checked off include, Publish a Book (Drake the Dragon April 2019), Make good cookies (No, I do not have any proof, and this will probably never happen again, so you will have to take my word for it...December 2017), Enjoy our wedding and reception (October 2016), Start a successful blog (What K.W.'s Thinking...April 2018), Take Aden to Disney (January 2019), and Ride a Banana Boat (August 2017).
   But a crazy thing happened on the day I decided to finally ride a Banana Boat. My husband and I happened to be the only passengers that morning, and so our driver decided to have a lot of fun, whipping around turns and flying over waves, trying to throw us off.  When we got a good distance from shore he stopped the ski do and asked us, "Do you want to jump off and go for a swim?"  Being that I'm not a great swimmer and also don't like water that I can't see the bottom of, I quickly shook my head no.  But that whole ride back to shore, and ever since that day I have had that moment burned into my brain.  You know why? Because I let fear stop me from a life experience.
  When I got home that night, I added a 104th item to my list, and I made a promise to myself.  If I ever get the chance again, I will not say no.  104 is, Swim in the open ocean.   You see, it's time we stop letting fear of the unknown hold us back from our lives. It's time we dove in with both feet and embraced the moments we've been given. I challenge you today to step beyond the wall of ordinary and live a life full of experiences, big and little. We were never made to live in fear.  So grab an adventurous friend, make a list, and chart a course for a more abundant life. I'll be out there chasing dreams and catching waves with you.  I can't wait to see you succeed.

~K.W.

Rejection

  I've been thinking a lot about rejection and people who get rejected at the hands of the church. I read an article about people going to Pride rallies to give out “mom-hugs” or “dad-hugs” for those whose families had cast them out. And the response to this gesture of kindness was that so many men and women came over to get hugs. They just needed to know they were loved and be told that someone accepted them as they are. It breaks my heart that parents and family members and churches can reject others so cruelly, and I know the pain of being rejected, because I have experienced it first hand. I, myself, was kicked out of a church at the age of seventeen when I became pregnant. I was told by people that they could no longer speak to me, and I couldn't come to their houses. Believe me, I know exactly what religious hate looks like, and I have lived through it. But I came across a verse today that speaks specifically to those in that situation. It says this, “Though my father and mother forsake me, the Lord will receive me.” (Psalm 27:10)

I want to remind you today that if people have kicked you out, thrown you away, or given up on you, God has not. He is still waiting with open arms. He doesn't ask you to clean up your act or do everything perfect before you come to Him. He just wants you, as you are, so He can walk through this journey of life with you and help you become all you were created to be.

Do not let religious people's opinions give you the wrong impression of God. Yes, God is holy, and yes, He wants us to do what is right, but He also gives us grace. There is not one person in this world who does everything perfect. (Romans 3:10) Not one of us could have a relationship with God without His grace covering us and allowing us to grow and get better along the way. So, friend, if someone has told you that you aren't worthy or don't deserve love, don't believe that lie for a second. There is a God who loves you and died for you just as you are. (Romans 5:8) Don't be misled or confused by the words and actions of hateful people who claim to be from God. God is love, and His people should be also. (1 John 4:7-11) Rest today in the knowledge that you are special and valuable to the One who made you.

With love,

K.W.

Perfection

Hey friends!

  I read an interesting quote the other day, and to be honest with you, I cannot remember where I read it at, so I want to apologize to the author who I am borrowing it from, and when I find the reference I will be sure to include it.  The quote went something like this, "Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly."
  At first after I read this I was a bit taken aback.  I thought, why would someone encourage people to do less than their best?  But then it hit me... that's just it!  Sometimes we get so stuck inside our heads about trying to do things perfectly that we neglect to start at all.
  Sometimes we gaze about the chaos that is our life and think, if only I had the perfect house, and body, and job, and money, and kids, and on and on and on.  When really all that is needed is to just make an attempt to do those things, even if we know they wont turn out perfectly.  It's ok to just pick up the house and clear the clutter without making it mother-in-law ready this week, or next week, or maybe not even this year (if you're me).  It's also ok to accept that you aren't where you want to be in life yet, but you can just enjoy the place where you are at, imperfections and all.
  I was talking to someone the other day who made the statement, "I just feel like I'm not a very good Christian because I say bad words and don't always act the way I should."  And the thing I told her was this, "God doesn't accept us because we are perfect.  He accepts us because we're not, and then He helps us get better."  You see, perfection isn't a point we arrive at anywhere on this side of Heaven, and it's definitely not a point that any of us start from.  And I think if we keep that in mind we will all be a little less harsh on others and on ourselves.
  Give yourself permission to just start this week, and let yourself be ok with not doing everything perfect.  Unless you're performing neurosurgery, you probably don't need to be perfect anyway.
Just make the attempt, and you'll be better off for it.  I can't wait to see you succeed.

~K.W.

Linda

  I want to share a story with you this morning. This is something that’s been on my mind, and while it may make a few people uncomfortable, I hope you’ll keep reading. When I was 16, I was being sexually harassed at work. There was a man who was more than double my age who used to trap me in my work space and make rude comments while I worked, and getting away from him meant I had to walk into him because he was blocking the only doorway. The problem with all this though, besides the obvious, was that I didn’t know I was being sexually harassed. I grew up in a church environment that taught me that if this was happening it must be my fault for wearing something too provocative, and because my Christian school refused to teach sex ed, I knew nothing about sexual safety whatsoever, although I pretended I knew a great deal around my peers.
  Now I know many of you are already screaming from the rooftops, “#metoo” and getting ready to spit in the faces of every man you know, but the real person I want you to identify with in this story isn’t me. The person I want you to see in this story is Linda.
  Linda was a good bit older than me, and she was one of the supervisors in our building. One evening  I casually remarked to her that the janitor was super creepy. I was too naive to describe his actions by any other terms. Linda did not hesitate a moment though. She looked me straight in the eyes and asked me why I said that. After I told her by the whole story, she grabbed me by the arm and practically dragged me down the hall to the office of the CEO. And as if the incidents weren't disturbing enough,  having to repeat them all to a 60 year old man who owned the company I worked for was even more so. Linda stood right by my side though and encouraged me along, and after I had told my story she lashed into a full blown attack, pointing out that this was not acceptable, and (much to my surprise) that this was not the first time this man had done this sort of thing and been allowed to stay. Her fierce arguments along with my testimony were enough to sway the CEO, and my harasser was fired on the spot.
  The point I want to make in all of this is that, those of us with louder voices, more experience, and access to those with power should use those things to help and protect those who may be too timid or too naive to stand up for themselves. It’s time that all of us grabbed our neighbors by the hand and said, “I’m with you.”  We live in a world that is divided on many subjects, but that should not stop us from reaching out a hand up to those around us. Let us be more like Linda today and use our voices and our influence to bring justice and strength to those who have none. And I believe that slowly, as we pick each other up, we will see controversy and division healed. We will see people of all creeds, religions, colors, and genders come together if we simply choose to love and lift up those around us rather than walking on by stating, “that’s not my problem.”  If someone in this world is hurting or facing injustice, it’s time we make it our problem, and we make it our mission to fix it. Wherever you are today friend, know that I love you, and I pray that you would be emboldened today to step out and be like Linda.
I can’t wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.

Take Out the Garbage

Hi Friends!

  I want to talk to you tonight about garbage.  Yup, you read that right.  Stinky, nasty, last week's chicken garbage, the kind that makes your whole house reek and causes you to say a prayer that no one stops by that day.  I dealt with this today.  All day, in fact, and here's the story.
  I smelled it the moment I woke up.  I walked into the kitchen this morning to make coffee and the smell was there.  "This garbage smells disgusting,"  I voice to myself and the dogs who were sitting by the back door waiting to go out.  But it didn't end there.  All day long the garbage problem continued.  Every time I went into my kitchen I vocalized how terrible it smelled.  When I came back from the grocery store I opened the house door and all I smelled was garbage.  "This whole house stinks!"  I yelled.  Finally, at around 3 o clock, when I was grumbling for the umpteenth time about how bad things smelled, I turned to my husband and announced.  "I realize that I have been complaining about this all day, and I also realize that I have not done anything to change the situation."
  So here's the real story friends.  We all have some "garbage" in our lives, things we need to deal with, something that is stinking up our atmosphere, but we continue to let it sit there.  All day I went around doing things to make the house smell better.  I opened windows and lighted candles, but when it came right down to it, the only way to really solve the problem was to take out the trash.  Maybe, like me, you've tried this in your personal life too.  You know you need to address your financial situation, but you decide to put your energy into eating healthier instead.  You've been putting off dealing with a particular situation, so you choose to do something else "good" instead.  The problem is though, that most of the time, fixing something else will not get rid of the garbage that is stinking up our lives.  Now don't get mad at me; I'm preaching to myself too.  But maybe it's time you picked yourself up, tied up the trash and walked it outside.  Maybe it's time to really evaluate what needs dealing with and just get it taken care of.  It may not be your favorite thing, but believe me, as soon as you get rid of the trash, it's amazing how fast the house starts to smell better.  In a few minutes it's like it was never even there.
  What I'm saying is, quit trying to cover up your garbage.  Quit lighting candles and pretending that everything is fine, because ultimately, you know it stinks.  Take out that trash once and for all and see how much better everything in your life becomes as a result of it.
As always, I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.

A Fake Fight

  Friends, I want to share something with you tonight that is still fresh and raw for me. I am hoping though that by sharing it you will be blessed and encouraged to persevere.   I want you to understand that the enemy we face is very real, and he walks about “as a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour.”  (1 Peter 5:8)  But what I also want to remind you is that, if God is for us, Nothing can win against us! (Romans 8:31)
   Now, what I want to share with you is this; often times when we try to make important, life altering changes, we run up against opposition. We are in a war, and our success is the enemy’s worst nightmare, and he will try every trick to make sure we do not succeed.   I’ve found that the process of change looks something like this...
  First, we get an inkling that change is needed. Perhaps we read about a new habit or feel the Spirit tugging on us to move in a new direction. It is often at this point that we begin wrestling with doubt. We face questions such as, “Do I really NEED to make that change?”  “What if I can’t do it?” “How will I find the time?”  And we let ourselves off the hook with excuses like, “It’s too hard.”  “I’m too tired.”  Or, “I’ll do it later.”  A lot of us get sidetracked right here. We wander away and put off or give up entirely on what we know deep down we should do.  If, however, you push past the doubt and make a decision to move forward, you are often confronted with the second road block on your way too change. For lack of a better label, we could call this obstacle, “circumstances.”
  Here’s where the rubber meets the road and you’ve decided to take the first steps.  But suddenly, as if out of no where, detours start to appear.  You start your diet and a friend brings in cookies for lunch. You decide to walk outside and it rains.  You vow to get up earlier, but your baby keeps you up half the night. It is here that you can choose to let your feelings win, or you can push forward. If you do so now though, know that you are playing for keeps. When your success means that others will benefit and God’s glory will be displayed, you can rest assured the devil will show up in full force to try to stop what you’ve got going.
  It’s at this point that you might receive a curveball, something so unexpected you decide maybe it’s not worth it to go on. Friend, dig in because if you’re facing this right now you need to know that your victory is only a few short steps of faith away. The enemy attacks hardest when you are nearest to your breakthrough.  Do not fall for the lies. Do not lay down and give up. Hold your chin up high and declare as Jesus did, “It is finished!” (John 19:30)  Warrior, your enemy has already been defeated. Don’t let him trick you into thinking he’s got a chance. Persevere, for you are being cheered on by a great cloud of witnesses. (Hebrews 12:1) Whatever you are being called to today, don’t give up. Others are counting on you to win. I can’t wait to see you come out on the other side successful.

~K.W.

Fake Faces

  Hello friends,  I have been thinking tonight about being who we want to be.  All of us have a person we want to be.  There is a version of ourselves that we would like to portray to the world and to convince ourselves is the person who we truly are.  There is nothing wrong with this.  In fact, we should all always be striving to be all that we can be, and if you see yourself as being happy, successful, healthy, fulfilled, financially independent, or whatever your goals might be, then you are much more likely to act in a manner as if you already are all of those things.
  What can be discouraging though is when we start to take a look in the mirror and realize just how far away we are from who we think we should be.  We all, myself included, have a tendency to try to keep our flaws or our shortcomings to ourselves.  Sometimes though, we have a bad day, week, month, or season of our lives, and we begin to look at ourselves and wonder just who it is that we have become.  The person other people see us as is not perhaps as flattering as we hoped.  We may have allowed circumstances or people around us to mold us into a version of ourselves that is far from where we desire to be.  We lose our peace as we begin wrestling in our spirits with the choices we have made and where we are verses where we want to be.
  The Scripture speaks specifically about this when it says, "If you falter in times of trouble, how small is your strength."  (Proverbs 24:10)  Ouch!  If that stings a little to read, I am right there with you.  You see, it's very easy to put on a nice face when things are all going well.  It's not so easy though when  you are under pressure, when something in your life is painful, when you have to make hard choices, or when being who you know you should be might cause you to look foolish to those you care about.  It's at these times though that we have real opportunities to grow.  If you can walk the talk when it's hard, then you really are making progress.  You aren't just faking it til you're making it, you have actually arrived at the next level.  If you are in that boat, I want to congratulate you.  You have grit, and great things are coming your way because of your self-discipline and perseverance.
  The people I really want to talk to tonight though are the ones who maybe are still faking it and looking in the mirror at night and feeling defeated.  I want to tell you, that if you are disappointed with your choices, or maybe a reputation you've created or who you feel you've become, you don't have to stay that way.  The enemy has this funny habit of trying to make us feel as though once we've fallen down that we won't ever be able to get back up, that we are stuck this way for ever.  That is so far from the truth.  There is a time and a season for EVERYTHING. (Ecclesiastes 3:1) Maybe you've been in a challenging season and you don't like what it has brought out of you.  Stop seeing yourself as failed, broken, sick, washed up, useless or unworthy.  God doesn't see you that way, not even close.  He sees you as your true self, the one He died for you to become:  whole, healthy, thriving, and filled with joy and peace.  You are all these things and more, and if you don't feel it yet, that's ok.  You can claim these things by faith and then start to walk them out.  The Bible says that God, "calls things that are not as though they were," and you have that privilege too. (Romans 4:17)
   Stop letting the enemy tell you who you are.  Stop letting other people's perceptions of you trick you into seeing yourself in the wrong light.  Start claiming your true identity today.  Silence the inner war.  Take your joy and peace back.  You are a warrior, and this is your life.  It's time to come up to the next level, take new ground, and claim victory in your life again.  Hold your head high.  You are a child of the King.  I challenge you not give in to the lies this week, but instead, start walking out who you truly are.  Make the right decisions, and step by step you will see yourself come into the truest version of yourself.
I can't wait to see you succeed.

~K.W.

The Jonah Dilemma

  Hello friends!  I was thinking tonight about the Jonah dilemma.  And if you've never heard that phrase before, don't worry; I made it up.  Jonah was a prophet in the Old Testament in the Bible.  His job was to go around and tell people messages God gave him.  But one day, Jonah was given a message he didn't feel so good about delivering.  God asked Jonah to go to the people of Ninevah, a city outside the country of Israel which was reputed to have been quite unsavory, to say the least.  Jonah, being the obedient servant of God that he was, promptly got on the next boat going in the opposite direction of Ninevah.  After boarding the boat, he went down into the hull of the ship and lay down for a much needed nap.  After all, running from God and from your purpose is exhausting.  And this, is what I am referring to as "The Jonah Dilemma."
  You see, for most of us, the problem is not that we don't know what we should do, but that we don't want to.  Maybe it's uncomfortable or causes us to change something.  Whatever the reason, I believe most people, like Jonah, don't pursue their purpose not because they can't, but because they aren't willing to do anything they don't like doing.  It's much easier to make yourself busy with other things and put what you're really supposed to be doing on the backburner.  Going about being busy but not doing what you are called to do is like boarding a ship headed in the opposite direction of where you are wanting to go.  Not only is it foolish and disobedient, but running from God will wear you out, make you miserable, and cause you to loose your peace and joy.
  For Jonah, it took a literal storm, being thrown overboard, and then spending three days inside the stomach of a fish to get him to head in the right direction.  For you and me, I pray we are not that stubborn.  What is it that you know you need to be doing?  Do you need to start that exercise program, write that letter, make the call, or pick up that book?  Often times the things we need to do to move forward are not earth shattering things.  They are simple daily practices which are, according to The Slight Edge, "easy to do" and "easy not to do."  Do not let the Jonah dilemma become yours.  Make the choice to move in the right direction today, even if you don't feel like it.  Don't put off what you need to do another moment.  Your success is waiting on the other side of that one small step in the right direction.  Will you take it?  I hope so, friend.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.