1. Communication
Communication is so important to a thriving relationship. This means everything from making sure you know which one of you is taking the garbage out to the curb to whether or not you should make that major purchase to how you are feeling emotionally. It's a vast range from the little things to the really big and everything in between. Often, in our most vital relationships, we fail to discuss the little things, and over time these add up to become major stressors. For example, if you haven't talked about which bills need paid this week, and therefore one of you is trying to save for the rent and the other is spending money freely, there is going to be an issue. Likewise, if you don't communicate about which of you is going to pick up the kids from school, and they get left there, there's going to be an issue. These may seem like no brainers, but so much of a relationship comes down to the day in and day out details, and by making sure you are on the same page with these things, you can keep your relationship running smoothly. Too often we assume, and we get angry with one another over expectations we haven't clearly communicated.
Additionally, take time regularly to ask your partner how they are feeling, about work, about your relationship, about everything. In fact, a monthly and weekly check-in is a useful habit. And when you do ask, listen. Let your spouse talk without criticizing or arguing about the response you get. This type of response can shut down future communications. So ask how they're doing, and then listen, and when they are done, brainstorm some ideas for making things better along with them. Remember, you are a team. Keep this in perspective, and make sure you both know what the plays are so that you can win at your day to day and in the long run.
2. Respect each other
The need for respect in relationships goes without saying, but I want to point out that sometimes respect is not demonstrated on a major scale. Sometimes it's in the little things, like how you talk to your friends about your spouse or whether or not you listen to the little things they ask you to do or not do. Let me give you an example. My husband is a very patient person, and he also is a very easy going person. He rarely ever makes any requests of me, and so when he does, I go out of my way to try to accommodate him. Now, my husband has a habit of leaving the laundry basket downstairs when he goes down to put a load in the wash. As a result of this, there is no basket upstairs to put dirty clothes in. My solution to this was to throw the dirty clothes in a pile where the laundry basket normally goes so that when the basket comes back up, everything is right there. Seems logical, right? I certainly thought so. Until one day, my husband let me know that it really bothered him when people threw the clothes on the floor where the laundry basket should go. I don't know why this would bother him, but what I do know is that I stopped doing it. Was this a huge issue? Nope. Does it really matter to me? Nope. But for the value of our relationship, and to show my respect and love for my spouse, I no longer throw the clothes where the basket goes. I either take them to the other basket, or I go get the basket from downstairs. A simple gesture, yes, but many times these little issues go unnoticed, building up until they end up turning into World War III in relationships. Take the time to listen to your spouse and be respectful of his or her wishes. It will go a long way towards creating peace and harmony in your home and showing them you care.
This is only a few of the things that can help you have a healthy and happy marriage or relationship, but they are two of the most crucial. Communicating and respecting your spouse's wishes, even if they seem silly, can help you to avoid major conflicts over unspoken frustrations or expectations. As in every other area of our lives, little changes yield big results. Show your spouse some love through communication and respect and see how it brightens your relationship. I can't wait to see you succeed!
2. Respect each other
The need for respect in relationships goes without saying, but I want to point out that sometimes respect is not demonstrated on a major scale. Sometimes it's in the little things, like how you talk to your friends about your spouse or whether or not you listen to the little things they ask you to do or not do. Let me give you an example. My husband is a very patient person, and he also is a very easy going person. He rarely ever makes any requests of me, and so when he does, I go out of my way to try to accommodate him. Now, my husband has a habit of leaving the laundry basket downstairs when he goes down to put a load in the wash. As a result of this, there is no basket upstairs to put dirty clothes in. My solution to this was to throw the dirty clothes in a pile where the laundry basket normally goes so that when the basket comes back up, everything is right there. Seems logical, right? I certainly thought so. Until one day, my husband let me know that it really bothered him when people threw the clothes on the floor where the laundry basket should go. I don't know why this would bother him, but what I do know is that I stopped doing it. Was this a huge issue? Nope. Does it really matter to me? Nope. But for the value of our relationship, and to show my respect and love for my spouse, I no longer throw the clothes where the basket goes. I either take them to the other basket, or I go get the basket from downstairs. A simple gesture, yes, but many times these little issues go unnoticed, building up until they end up turning into World War III in relationships. Take the time to listen to your spouse and be respectful of his or her wishes. It will go a long way towards creating peace and harmony in your home and showing them you care.
This is only a few of the things that can help you have a healthy and happy marriage or relationship, but they are two of the most crucial. Communicating and respecting your spouse's wishes, even if they seem silly, can help you to avoid major conflicts over unspoken frustrations or expectations. As in every other area of our lives, little changes yield big results. Show your spouse some love through communication and respect and see how it brightens your relationship. I can't wait to see you succeed!
~K.L.W.
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