Stupid Questions

When I was 16 I moved from my secluded small private school world to a public high school.  Upon moving I very quickly realized just how little I knew about the ways of the world.  My friends at school were having conversations about things I had never heard of, and while I’d always been good at “fake it til you make it,”  they knew I was ignorant.  I couldn’t ask my parents about the terms I heard at school.  I was already in enough trouble without them assuming that I was thinking about sex.  The truth is though, I just wanted to be in the know.  I wanted to have enough knowledge to decide whether I was in or out of the conversation.  With no knowledge, I could only nod and smile and pretend.  

There was a girl down the street though, and she knew.  She invited me over one day not long after I started at the new school, and I promptly began to ask her to define every term I had heard and not understood from the last few weeks at school.  Fourteen years later I still cringe every time I think about my asking of those questions. I had a gym teacher at my old school who used to say, “There’s no stupid questions, only stupid people.”  I think that is one of the worst things you can ever say to an inquiring mind.  But the thing is, I have always been willing to ask “dumb” questions.  I like to learn, and if I don’t ask, how will I know?  I’m willing to risk looking stupid for the sake of knowing more.  So I asked, and she answered, and never once did she judge me (at least not out loud.)  I can only imagine what she was thinking internally.  But by sharing her knowledge with me that day, she gave me an in.  I no longer sat at the lunch table feeling left out and unsure of what was being discussed.  I had knowledge now, albeit little, and knowledge is power.  

Giving someone an in is powerful.  It’s allowing them to sit at the table.  It’s using your power to lift someone up when you could push them down. Is it time that you gave someone an in?  Maybe there’s someone at your work who is struggling and needs to know what you know to succeed.  Maybe you can give someone the info they are looking for so they can become part of the conversation.  Not everyone is brave enough to ask, and this often can leave people stuck on the outside.  Keep your eyes and arms open to the people who may need you to extend a hand and welcome them into your circle.  That small act of kindness may open a doorway for them, and as Maya Angelou said, “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”  Make people feel invited, even if that means letting down your guard a little to let them in.  We all need someone to save us a seat and give us an invite.  Be that person for someone.  I can’t wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.  

From the Heart

My Dear Friends,
I hope that you are all well.  I have been thinking a lot lately, as I am sure most of you have.  I have been discouraged, and fearful, and saddened by what I have seen in our world lately.  The voices of hate, discord, and destruction have raised themselves to a deafening roar, and it is hard to listen for the still small voice of peace, truth, and love in the midst of it. 
I have hesitated to speak, because it seems impossible to say something without offending one side or another, so divided are we as a people and nation.  But perhaps, I can appeal to our common humanity. 
Let me first say, my heart breaks for my African American brothers and sisters who have suffered injustice for so long and in so many ways.  Events like the death of George Floyd demonstrate to us just how far we still have to go to reach equality and liberty for all races.  My heart breaks for his family and friends who are still reeling from the shock of losing a loved one in so cruel an act of hate. 
My heart also breaks for those world wide who are still fighting sickness and wondering how they are going to pay their bills after the time of crisis we have all endured. I am saddened for all those who have lost family and friends to this devastating disease.
My heart breaks for all our military and police members who joined the ranks to make a difference and to do good in our world and are now coming under attack for the actions of a few horribly misguided individuals.  My heart breaks for their family members who lay awake at night wondering if their father, brother, sister, mother, or spouse will make it home safely from work that day. 
My heart breaks for all the shop owners, businesses, and families who were impacted not only by Covid-19, but also by destruction and looting, and who now have to pick up the pieces and rebuild.  While I do believe we must speak out and speak strongly as well as take action for change to happen, I do not believe attacking innocent by standers through looting, raiding, and mass destruction is the answer.  Hate only begets more hate.  If we are to turn the tide, it must be done with love and with courage.
And so, while my heart is breaking with the pain and suffering of so many individuals in this world, I remain confident that the God I know has not abandoned us in this time.  He sees each tear and hurt.  He knows our deepest wounds better than we do, and He wishes to bring healing to them all.  No matter what, we cannot allow hate to win.  We must act with love, and we must do so day in and day out until love wins the battle.  We must, as John Maxwell says, "Make a difference with others wherever you are, with whatever you have, day by day."  (Intentional Living, pg. 4)
It is my hope that you know, no matter who you are, where you are, how you feel, or what you have done or are doing, you are deeply loved by a God who wants to redeem you and wants to redeem this world. 
I choose love today.  Hate will not win.  I love you all, and I can't wait to see us all succeed!

~K.W.