The Downward Spiral

  

 Hi Friends! Today, I want to address something extremely prevalent in our culture right now.  The mindset I want to address is one of negativity and fear.  And these two things go hand in hand.  Lately I have been hearing a lot of statements like this, "It's all just so bad right now."  "I don't see how we can ever get out of this." "This division is impossible to overcome." 

  When I hear statements like this, it makes me cringe.  And here is why.  These negative statements and beliefs are based in fear, and they are becoming more entrenched each day as people dwell on them and reiterate them in their words.  Our thoughts and words have great power in our lives, and the more we think on something, the more we speak about it, and the more we speak about it, the more we begin to look for examples of that in our lives to reaffirm our belief.  It is a downward spiral that can very quickly poison our outlook and our lives. 

  The truth is, there may be bad things happening right now.  But there has always been bad things happening in the world since way back when Adam and Eve made that first wrong decision.  Since that day there has been division, strife, and evil in our world.  But the presence of these things does not negate the power and goodness of our God.  So we have a choice.  We can dwell on how bad it all is and how much worse it could get.  Or, we can begin the upward cycle to free ourselves from living in fear and negativity.  The downward spiral can be reversed, and I think it's important we begin this work sooner rather than later.  

  Here's how you change directions.  

  One, stop feeding the negative cyclone in your mind.  Stop listening to others who are negative.  Stop turning on the news.  Stop reading those articles.  Stop engaging with it on social media.  Is that hard?  Maybe.  Is it worth it for your peace of mind and well being?  Definitely.  

  Secondly, choose your thoughts purposefully.  When you find yourself wondering how we are ever going to fix the economy, or politics, or whatever you might be worrying about today, stop yourself and purposefully think positive and gratitude filled thoughts.  When you start to dwell on what you are grateful for, you find more and more to be thankful for. Like breeds like.  Let's start with gratitude for health, friends, family, food, homes, a warm blanket, a cup of coffee, spring time.  The list goes on and on.  We don't have to drown in the fear and negativity.  We have the free will to choose our thoughts.  Do so wisely.  

  Lastly, reinforce your positive thoughts by speaking and listening to positive things.  Instead of complaining, "The weather is terrible." "I can't believe what that politician did."  "I'm just so afraid of where this is all headed."  Try only speaking positive.  "Wow!  We really needed this rain.  This will make the flowers look so beautiful."  "Did you hear about that teenager who saved a mother and her children from a burning car?  There are so many amazing people in the world."  "This is going to be a great day!" Begin to catch yourself when you are complaining and spreading negativity.  It might be happening more often than you think. 

  As you start to speak positive out of your mouth, you also need to guard carefully what you allow to come in.  For example, choose specific shows or podcasts that you know will be uplifting.  For myself, I do not watch the news, and when I watch TV, I always choose something funny.  On my Instagram, I only follow positive uplifting people, so I am never bombarded by the fear mongering, negative voices in society.  You can set boundaries around what you let into your life.  Choose positive.  

  Now, I know there is someone out there right now who thinks this way of living is a Polyanna mindset.  That by choosing to think positively I am just ignoring all the worlds problems and hoping they go away on their own.  On the contrary.  I know there are problems in the world, and I believe we are much more equipped to solve them when we come to them from a place of hopefulness and positivity than if we do so from fear and despair.  

  Ultimately, every part of your physical and mental health is affected by how you look at the world and what you choose to dwell on each day.  You can continue in fear and negativity.  But I highly encourage you to give the upward cycle a try.  Start to change your outlook, your thoughts, and your words, and you just might find in doing so, little by little, you begin to change your world as well. The rainbow and the storm are both there.  It's up to you which one you focus on. Choose positive today.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Fight

   Hi friends! Have you ever heard the expression “nothing good comes easy?” I think we’ve probably all heard it, but most of us don’t live as if we understand it. Most of us fall into the trap of thinking, “If this is meant to be it should be easy.”  Let me tell you friends, this is a powerful lie that our culture has sold us. When we believe everything should come easy, we set ourselves up for disappointment and failure. 

  This lie has hurt us far more than we realize. It’s why the newlyweds who hit a struggle in their relationship start thinking, “If we were really meant for each other this should be easy right? Maybe he (or she) just isn’t the one.” 

  Or how about the entrepreneur who started a business with excitement and hope, only to be thinking a few years later. “If I was really meant to succeed at this, wouldn’t it be easy? Maybe I should give it up and go back to my old job.”

  We’ve been conditioned to believe that if something is right for us, meant for us, our calling, our destiny, then it will somehow magically fall into place and be easy. But that’s just not the truth. Ask the couples who have been married 60 years. They’ve had to struggle to figure it out. Ask the business owners with thriving companies, and they will tell you about the years of struggle and lack. 

  Now, I’m not saying nothing ever comes easy, and if you succeed with no adversity, that’s great, but I highly doubt there is anyone who has accomplished their dreams and goals and stayed where they want to be with out some struggle to overcome. 

  The danger lies in thinking that if it’s not easy it’s not meant for us. If you start an endeavor, relationship, goal, etc with this mindset, the first time you hit a rough patch or come up against a wall, you will quit and go looking for something else. So many people have been kept from their destinies by this lie. 

  Let’s use an example from the Bible. God promised the Israelites the land of Canaan. It was their inheritance. But they still had to fight for it! They didn’t just wander in and settle down. They had to fight for what was theirs! 

  In the same way, we do not just wander into success, even if it is our calling. We must fight for our marriages, our families, our purpose and passions. But if you know this going in, the battle becomes a whole lot easier. You won’t throw in the towel the first time you hit a bump. You will learn how to overcome. 

  So the next time you’re faced with a challenge, don’t hang your head and say “I guess it wasn’t meant to be.” Put on your boxing gloves, take up your stance, and go after what you want. You have to fight for your dreams! I can’t wait to see you succeed!

~ K.L.W. 

What K.L.W.'s Dad's Thinking (Part 2)

   Hello Friends, once again this week, I have the privilege of sharing with you some thoughts which are not my own. If you've been a long time reader, you have probably heard from my dad before in What K.W.'s Dad's Thinking. This week, my dad shared with me some thoughts he had on our influence in the world, and I hope you will find them as profound, beautiful, and insightful as I did. I can't wait to see you succeed! ~ K.L.W. 

  The world is connected. Everything in it is connected. Every drop of the Ocean is connected to all the others all around the world.   No one drop has more or less significance, not the drops making up the wave that crashes on the shore and propels surfers and ships or the drops at the deepest depths that bring support to the surface.   Every drop serves its purpose and every drop is connected and therefore significant.   

  It is like that with us as humans as well.   We are all connected, the difference is we have free will and choice and we don't all see our connection.   

  Light is another amazing illustration.   It is all around us, and it is all connected.  In its purest form, however, it would be too intense to view and so we rely on a multitude of surfaces to reflect the light. They are all unique, from the clouds, to trees, and water, but each gives it a different contrast and that is where the beauty comes from.  

  

  Likewise, we are all created in the image of God. God in his glory is too magnificent to behold directly, so we are all made to reflect the image of God. Each unique, each in their own unique way demonstrating the beauty of the creator. "Just as a body, though one, has many parts, but all its many parts form one body, so it is with Christ…. Even so the body is not made up of one part but of many.  Now if the foot should say, because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body, it would not for that reason stop being part of the body….But in fact God has placed the parts of the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be."  1 Corinthians 12:12-18 (selected portions)  There may be parts that appear more significant, but every part down to the smallest cell is essential to the whole.   

  Also, as any part improves, it helps to improve the whole. A flower in the forest is only one small part of the overall forest and its beauty; however, when that flower displays exceptional beauty, the beauty of the entire forest grows with it. There are no insignificant roles.   Each of us can by choice grow, and that growth and exceptionalism elevates the whole. 

  Recognizing our connections to one another, my personal vision is to grow daily.   In so doing, I will improve the whole.  Secondly, I want to help others grow.   In so doing, as a whole we will grow exponentially. 

- Written by Stephen Hoefler

Hindsight

   Hello Friends, have you ever heard the saying, "Hindsight is 20/20"?  We use it often to refer to the fact that it's usually easier to look back and see what we could have or should have done than to see and judge clearly in the moment.  I had one of these situations lately.  I had been dealing with a host of troubling physical issues, but mentally I hadn't connected them all.  I kept placing the blame for this symptom or that on one thing or another, never realizing they were all pointing to the same thing.  It wasn't until things got really bad that it occurred to me get my eyes checked.  Turns out, the problem was my eyes, and all the symptoms I had been blaming on other things were actually connected to the defect I was dealing with.  It was an easy fix, but because I had been ignoring the signs, or rather, not seeing them correctly, I hadn't been able to deal with the problem.  

  Oftentimes we face similar situations in our personal development.  Perhaps we have been seeing different signs or symptoms of an area we need to change, but we continue to ignore them, blame them on someone or something else, or push it off to deal with later.  But it's not until we begin to connect the dots and seek out treatment that we will realize the full extent of how much this has been affecting us. 

  Let me give an example of this which might illustrate what I am talking about.  We will call our fictitious character George.  George's main issue is that he has not chosen to grow and develop himself personally and improve his skillset as he knows he should.   However, George does not see this as the root issue.  Here is what he sees.  George sees he hasn't gotten the promotion he wants at work.  He blames it on his boss not liking him.  Instead of taking the time he should be to invest in developing himself, George has instead begun spending more and more time out at the bar with his friends in the evening telling them about his troubles at work.  There he eats unhealthy food and drinks extra calories and comes home later and later.  But George doesn't see how this is affecting him either.  What George sees is that he has started to gain weight, and he doesn't feel great about himself.  He blames it on stress from his job.  George's wife is also becoming frustrated that he spends less and less time with her because he is out every night, and she begins to be short tempered with him.  He notices this symptom too, but he assumes it is just stress from his wife's job causing her to feel negative towards him.  I could go on, but I think you get the picture.  George has a lot of symptoms in his life, but the root cause is his failure to develop himself by reading and learning.  He needs someone to help him connect the dots.

  Most of us, like George, have trouble seeing what the root cause of our symptoms is on our own.  Just as I had to go to an eye doctor and then a specialist to find out exactly what was wrong and how to fix it, we often need outside help to put together the symptoms in our personal lives.  If you have been dealing with some issues in your life but are struggling to determine the real problem on your own, here are two ways you can more easily see the signs in your own life.  

  The first way is to surround yourself with a few close friends or family members who know you well and can hold you accountable.  If you are seeing a lot of symptoms but aren't sure what the root cause is, maybe it's time to ask someone who can look at the whole picture from the outside.  We tend to live in denial about our own issues. But those closest to you may be able to give you insight. Just be sure to only take advice from the right people (people who have what you want, are who you want to become, or have done what you want to do), not just any person around you.  Everyone has an opinion.  Choose wisely whose you listen to. 

  The second thing is to continually grow yourself by reading and learning daily.  While the author of a book or the speaker of a podcast may not know you personally, they probably know people like you.  They may even have been like you at one point.  And as you listen to or read what they have to say, you may find that their wisdom and insight opens your eyes to some symptoms in your life and how to fix them.  

  Whatever issues you are dealing with in your life, don't keep ignoring the signs.  Instead, open your eyes, grab a friend who can help you see clearly, and seek out wisdom from experts who have been there.  Hindsight may be 20/20, but having clarity now is far more important. You may not be able to solve every frustration, but if you look at your symptoms, you can begin to treat your issues from the root cause and avoid many more problems down the road.  It's time to stop playing the blame game and start treating the real issue. I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.