Give and Receive

   

Hello Friends! I read something recently which caused me to pause and reevaluate my stance on giving. You see, giving is one of my core values. It’s something I believe very strongly in, and something I want to encourage other people to believe in. It’s my belief that the more we all give, the more we can help each other, and the better we can make the world. 

  But Brené Brown said something which made me take a step back and really question myself and my motives in giving. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, she delivers a truth which stopped me in my tracks. It goes like this, “Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgement to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgement to giving help.” 

  Wow! I never thought of it like that. But when I read it, I knew she was right. I had been giving from this somehow self-righteous point of view. I always wanted to be the one giving help, never the one asking for help. It’s as if I felt it was a shame to be in need, and by thinking this, I was subconsciously shaming those I was giving to. 

  Perhaps you, like me, need to become a better giver by learning to become a better receiver. I had to let go of my pride, humble myself enough to ask for and receive help when I needed it, and by doing this, let go of my unconscious prejudice against those I was giving to. 

  In order to make the world a better place, we all need to become better givers of our time, talents, and resources, but we also need to become better receivers, accepting help when we need it, and not looking down on ourselves or on others for being the one in a position of need. None of us are islands. We all need help, and the sooner we learn to accept what we need from others without shame or judgement, the sooner we can give wholeheartedly without shaming or judging those we give to. 

  Today, make the commitment to better those around you by being a giver. But do it with the humility and recognition that you are also in need. Get good at offering someone a hand up, but also, reach out and accept the hand that’s being offered to you. Become a judgement free giver and receiver. We will all be better off for it. I can’t wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.