Back to Basics

 

Hi friends; I want to ask you this week, have you ever gotten to a point where you felt you were doing well and then suddenly found yourself overwhelmed by the habits and routines you were creating? Case in point, every time I try a really strenuous calorie counting and exercise routine, I do great until Day 4. Days 1-3 I’m on top of the world. I think I’ve got it all together. I’m a new person, never going back to McDonald's fries and lounging on the couch. But then Day 4 hits... notorious, infamous Day 4. Day 4 is my kryptonite. It’s when sh*t hits the fan if you know what I mean. It’s usually on Day 4 when I realize I’m in way over my head, and I don’t have the time, energy, or will power to sustain what I’ve created. It’s on Day 4 that I eat everything in the house and give up on being healthy ever again. Ok, a bit dramatic, but you get my point.  

  We tend to get ourselves in over our heads.  Or at least I do.  We want so desperately to reach the top, to get to our destination now. But we take on too much and end up getting overwhelmed and giving up.  It's in these moments of overwhelm that we need to do some assessment and ask ourselves what the original intent of our goal was.  And with that intent in mind we can start from square one and build habits which are more sustainable.  

  When we get ourselves so focused on being the biggest and the best at everything as quickly as possible, we forget to enjoy the process.  By scaling back and making our habits and goals realistic, we can grow while still staying sane and enjoying our every day lives. Maybe 50 pages a day of reading is too much for you, but can you do 10?  Was your original intent to learn and improve?  If so, 10 pages of reading daily will have a far greater impact than committing to 50 pages and not reading any because it's too hard.  Make sense?  

  I'm all for challenging our comfort zones and seeking to grow, but too often we try to emulate what we think others are doing, and we end up wearing ourselves out and not getting anywhere.  As the old adage says, "slow and steady wins the race."  If you take big leaps but do them infrequently (50 pages once a week) vs. small steady steps (10 pages daily), you will end up much farther ahead with the easier and more consistent routine.  

  This week, if you are feeling overwhelmed or struggling to maintain all the habits, routines and demands you have placed on yourself, it might be time to go back to the basics.  Ask yourself what your original goal was, and see how you can tailor a more manageable plan that may even get you there faster because it's easier to stick with.  "Go big or go home" may have a nice ring to it, but when it comes to our day in, day out routines, we are much better off with those small baby steps every day, inching closer to the people we desire to be.  Start from square one and take those small steps today, friend.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K. L. W.  

Simple (Part 2)

   Good Morning Friends!  I know I talked to you a few weeks ago about keeping things simple, but I want to bring it up again, because it has been on my heart.  We complicate our lives so much, always looking for the newest, best things, but often the answers are simple.  Drink water, eat whole foods, sleep, move your body, celebrate the little things. 

  So often we are distracted and kept from doing things that would help us because we feel we can't meet someone else's perfect formula.  Take for example, diets.  I can't even tell you how many diets I've tried over the years.  Don't eat this, only eat that, work out this many times a day.  I have bought ridiculous amounts of groceries only to have them go bad at the end of the week because I got tired and gave up by Tuesday.  And all of these things didn't make me healthier.  In fact, they only made me feel worse about myself for being a "failure." 

    I've done workouts that I hated, and I've pushed my body to exhaustion and frustration, but the truth is, I feel at my best when I just do twenty to thirty minutes of yoga.  And I eat well and feel great when I just buy fresh meat and veggies and keep it simple.  Grilling some chicken and asparagus, cooking up a steak with some broccoli, or some fish and green beans.  There's no counting, measuring, and complicated recipes.  Simple.  And while I'm not a doctor or nutrition expert, I'm pretty sure that eating more vegetables and fresh meat and not stressing myself out at every meal is better for my health than complicated formulas, measuring and counting, and elaborate meals. 

  It seems we are always looking for the newest and best this or that to make our lives suddenly come together.  We want to look and feel "successful" in some illusionary definition of the word. In reality, the answer is probably much simpler than we think.  Read that book.  Take a walk with your spouse.  Eat the vegetables. Save the $10.  You don't have to make things overly complicated.  Being busier and more stressed out than anyone else doesn't prove anything.  Look for ways to make life simple.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Breathe

   

  Hello Friends! If there is one thing I am sure of, it is that life throws you curve balls. Even the best of intentions and well laid plans can go awry. I spent the last week in beautiful Florida, escaping the cold Pennsylvania winter and getting some much needed relaxation and restoration. After a few days of blissful yoga, meditation, healthy meals, and plenty of time to read and write, I thought sure I had it figured out. 

  Fast forward to today. I went to bed last night ready to adopt my new vacation mindset, and was woke up this morning by a family member needing to go the hospital. There went my perfect plan. No yoga or meditation, no long morning with my book and a coffee. And to top it off, my son forgot to take his coat to school. It’s 29 degrees out. The best laid plans...all up in smoke. 

  This is not a pity party though. The truth is, when you develop a mindset of peace and an attitude of grace and gratitude, it’s a lot easier to go with the flow and not let these bumps throw you. I may not have had time to meditate, but because I’ve learned how to breathe and center myself, I can use that even in stressful situations. I might not have had time for coffee and reading, but I know that God hears our prayers and I can seek his presence no matter where I am. 

  If your life feels a little off course or isn’t going according to plan today, don’t sweat it. Look for small ways to incorporate the positive habits you use on your best days, and they will help you get through your worst. Breathe, pray, and move forward. I can’t wait to see you succeed! 

~K.L.W. 

Good, Better, Best

   Hi There!  This week I have been contemplating the idea of good or okay vs. what is best.  You see, often times, what holds us back is not intentionally doing something wrong, but being unwilling to change when we know we could do something better.  Generally, if we know something is flat out wrong or detrimental, we will make an effort to change it.  However, if something is okay, or seems good enough where it is, we have a tendency to continue to put up with, indulge in, or stay stuck in it because it would take effort to make it better even though we know we could or should do so.  

    I was wrestling with this pattern of thinking in my own life recently. I have a habit which I knew I should put forth the effort to improve, but I hadn't done so yet.  I was mulling over the work it would take to make the change and weighing if I felt like putting the energy into doing so, when I was convicted by this statement in my spirit.  "It's not always that something is bad.  It's just that it could be better." Whew!  Having a standard of excellence is important.  But man is it challenging sometimes.  While it may be difficult or seem unnecessary to push ourselves to change something that is okay or even good as it is, these small changes are what separate us from the crowd and cause us to stand apart.  We must be willing to not settle but demand from ourselves that we press toward greatness and excellence.  

      These small changes toward better are so important.  In fact, Joyce Meyer often tells the story of how God dealt with her for years about small things like taking her grocery cart back to the where it belongs after leaving the store.  She had a big dream, but God couldn't fulfill it in her until she was willing to go the extra mile and become more even in the small things. 

    Take a look around your life and ask yourself in what areas you are settling for okay when you should be great.  And I don't mean being discontent. That's another topic in and of itself. What  I mean is looking at your own habits and character and finding the small cracks that could be strengthened and sured up to create the solid foundation you need to propel you toward your dreams. Terri Savelle Foy says that when she was just beginning to move into living her dreams she heard God tell her, "You, don't be average, and your life won't be average."  We must be willing to always move toward better if we want better, and I believe all of us do. 

    Life is a continual journey of improvement.  Don't get stuck or give up and just accept that things are okay or good enough.  You have what it takes to improve, become excellent, and make your habits and yourself better.  Mediocre won't get you to your dreams and goals.  You have to strive for better.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.

Simple

   Hello there!  Have you ever heard the acronym K.I.S.S.?  It stands for Keep It Simple Stupid.  But that's not a very nice thing to say to yourself, so maybe we can rebrand it to Keep It Simple Sweetie or Keep It Simple Stud.  All joking aside, we live in a pretty fast paced world, and it seems there is always more for us to keep up with.  Between trying to make a living, exercise, eat right, keep our families alive, stay woke, and build our social media empires, we can get lost somewhere in all the doing.  

    This week I was contemplating all the things that needed to be done, and I heard in my spirit, "Simplify.  Let go of things that don't serve you."  Wow!  Such a powerful concept, but hard for us to do in this world of have more, do more, be more.  But truth be told, sometimes we are doing things that aren't productive in the name of just doing things.  How many "Shoulds" are you holding onto in your life, not because they are helping you, but because you feel like that's what's expected of you?  

    Jack Canfield gives a powerful question in The Success Principles.  He asks, "What am I doing that’s not working? What do I need to be doing less of?"  So often we try to ask ourselves what else we need to do, and we add more and more to our proverbial plates.  But what we need to do is to ask ourselves what patterns or habits we are holding onto that aren't serving us.  Maybe your exercise routine is making you miserable, but you keep doing it because someone else said it was the "best" way to get fit.  Can you find a routine that helps you feel healthy and strong and also brings you enjoyment?  Maybe you are allocating money and time towards things you don't really care about because your mother, boss, neighbor, or friend made you feel like you should.  Again, how can you simplify your life so that it fits your goals and needs?  Can you learn to let go of those things that aren't serving you?  

    Just because someone else does things a certain way does not mean that way is the most productive or useful for you.  It's time to let go of the stereotypes, the "I shoulds", and the demands we place on ourselves because we think other people expect us to do, be, or like those things.  We need to ask the question, "What is working for me?"  and more importantly, "What isn't working for me?"  Then we can eliminate those things that aren't in our best interest and are only robbing us of time, energy and money.  

    Take some time this week to consider your routines and ask yourself truly how you can simplify and make your life work the way you want it to, not the way TV, pop culture, society, or your parents say it should.  At the end of your life, only you are responsible for how you lived it.  Don't waste your time and mental energy.  Keep It Simple Smarty.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Little by Little

   Hello, Friends!  Progress can be so frustrating some times.  Don't you just wish you could snap your fingers and get it all together, suddenly reach your perfect fitness goal, have all the money you want, and be killing it in your career and relationships?  Ya, me too.  The problem is, we weren't built to work like that.  If we have big goals and dreams, we have to grow to the size of those dreams.  Overnight success is not really a thing (Ok, maybe for a handful of people), but for most of us, it's a daily working to reach what we desire.  

    This process of growing and becoming can be really frustrating until we take time to step back and realize that is how we are designed to operate.  Growing into the person we want to be is a lifelong process, and the joy truly is in the journey.  But it can be easy to lose sight of that.  Let me illustrate with a classic Bible story.  You might be familiar with the Israelites and their forty year journey from Egypt to the Promised Land.  A forty year journey!  Yikes!  Are we there yet?  How about now?  The journey across the desert should have taken about 11 days according to scholars, but because the Israelites complained, rebelled, and down right refused to listen, reaching the Promised Land took forty years.  Not only that, but those who left Egypt did not even get to enjoy the Promised Land.  They perished in the desert, and it was their children who got to inherit that land.  Not a great story.  

    But here is what is interesting.  There were others inhabiting the land which was to be an inheritance for Israel, the land which had been promised to Abraham over four hundred years earlier.  In Exodus 23:29-30, God tells Moses, "But I will not drive them out in a single year, because the land would become desolate and the wild animals too numerous for you. Little by little I will drive them out before you, until you have increased enough to take possession of the land." God knew the Israelites were not prepared to handle the land that had been promised to them, and so He did not give it to them all at once.  To do so would have been their destruction.  Instead He promised to give it to them little by little as they increased.  Remember the analogy of the wineskin?  They had to grow into a nation that could handle the blessings God had in store for them, and in the same way, we must grow into people who can handle the plans and blessings God has in store for us.  We must be faithful with a little before we can be blessed with more.  (Luke 16:11)

    Take some time this week to look at your dreams and goals and appreciate the path from where you are to where you want to be.  And don't forget to look back and see how far you have come as well. Don't spend your whole life just wishing you were in the Promised Land. Instead, enjoy the path as you realize your dreams and goals little by little.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.  

Wishing or Working?

   Hi Friends!  Have you ever wished your life could be different?  Ever thought things would be better if you just had that perfect body, home, spouse, job, etc?  All of us have a dream version of ourselves that we would like to come true, but the question is, are you just wishing or are you working?  There is a big difference.  Jay Shetty says in Think Like a Monk, "'I wish' is code for 'I don't want to do anything differently.'" So let me ask you again, are you just wishing things would get better?  

    The truth is, we can wish all we want, but that does not cause anything to actually change.  Have you ever heard the classic tale of the lottery winner who wins big and then two or three years later is bankrupt, divorced, and miserable?  How could this happen?  After all, he got what he wished for, right?  The problem is, a wish does not change us.  We have to do the work of growing into a person who is worthy of the dreams and goals we have.  And before you get offended, I do not mean from a value standpoint.  We all are valuable and have worth just by the sheer fact that we are human beings created in the image of God.  The worth I am referring to here is the skills necessary to obtain and maintain the dream life we desire.  For example, if the lottery winner had taken the time to develop the financial skills necessary to earn wealth and maintain it, they would not be in that position.  Jesus said it this way, "No one pours new wine into old wineskins.  Otherwise, the wine will burst the skins, and both the wine and the wineskins will be ruined.  No, they pour new wine into new wineskins."  (Mark 2:22)

    Simply receiving the things we want does not catapult us into living the dream life we desire.  If we don't change ourselves and our mindset, we will not be able to hold onto the things we want.  Like the wineskin that burst from the new wine, our old selves and old mindsets will not be able to contain the new things we desire.  We must create new mindsets and new lives if we want to hold onto the blessings we crave.  For example, if you are severely overweight, you might go get liposuction to quickly remove some of the unwanted body mass, but if you don't change your habits, lifestyle, or mindset you may find yourself back in the same position, overweight and unhealthy.  However, if you make the change to start eating healthfully, exercising, and following the proper health procedures, you will be better able to maintain the results of your surgery.  You have become new from the inside out.  

    We can all wish for our lives to be like a Disney story and instantly transform from poverty and misery to riches and royalty, but in real life it doesn't work that way.  Snow White said, "A dream is a wish your heart makes."  But Rachel Hollis said, "A goal is a dream with work boots on."  Are you just wishing, or are you lacing up your boots and going after the changes that will get you to your dreams and goals?  If you want to see your dreams come true, you have to do the work to become the new person who can live out those dreams fully.  Get to work today on transforming yourself from the inside out.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Messes

   Hi Friends! I was thinking today about messes and how aggravating they can be. Messes drain our energy and focus, and they make us feel stressed, disorganized and overwhelmed. Living in an environment that is cluttered and messy can take a toll on us mentally and emotionally, and may even harm us physically if things get too messy. Additionally, have you heard that your outward environment is a reflection of your inward environment? Maybe you are surrounded by chaos because your thoughts are chaotic. 

  If you want to see improvements in your life this year, I encourage you to start by getting your environment cleaned up. This is one of the most fundamental steps you can take to get your life moving in the direction of your dreams and goals, and here are three ways you can start. 

1. Make it a Routine

  It has been said, “The secret of your success is found in your daily routine.” And this is true when it comes to your environment too. Do you have a daily habit of cleaning and straightening up? Or do you spend all week throwing the mail, your work clothes, and the dirty dishes into piles until the weekend when you frantically try to gain control? A small shift in habits can make a big difference in your environment. A few changes that have helped me are: putting things away as soon as I am finished with them, doing a load of laundry and a sink of dishes every day, and not procrastinating; if there is mail I take care of it right away; if there is a mess I clean it up. These small shifts in habit make a big difference. 

2. Don’t Let Things Pile Up

  I don’t know about you, but I hate extra junk lying around. If I’m not using it, I’m not keeping it. The less things there are the less to clean, organize, pick up, etc. The strategy I use for keeping useless or unwanted items from piling up is this: First, if it’s broken, worn, or otherwise not worth giving away, I throw it out immediately. Secondly, I have a designated spot (the Livingroom closet) where I keep a bag. Anytime I come across something we aren’t using or don’t need, I put it in the bag. When the bag is full, I take it to donate. This prevents broken or unwanted items from piling up and frees up my energy to deal with other things. 

3. Learn and Grow

  If you are feeling stuck or unsure about how to clear the clutter or organize the messes in your life, there are two great books which helped me immensely. The first is Terri Savelle Foy’s Declutter Your Way to Success. This book changed my life dramatically and helped me learn to get my chaos under control and to see how my messes were holding me back from my dreams and goals. The second, ADD - Friendly Ways To Organize Your Life, by Judith Kolberg and Kathleen Nadeau, PH. D. Is chalk full of practical solutions for organizing your home and life. I had originally bought this to help my ten year old, but I found that it helped me far more than I ever expected. 

  In her 90 Day Devotional, Live Your Dreams, Terri Savelle Foy states, “A mess is any disagreement between the way you desire things to be and the way they actually are.” This year, it’s time to sort out the messes so you can break through to being the person you desire to be. Start making it your routine to be organized, find ways to eliminate clutter, and seek out ways to grow and become better in this area. I can’t wait to see you succeed! 

~ K. L.W.

Who Are You?

   Good Morning Friends!  Are you working on new habits for the new year?  I hope you have dreams and goals and are pursuing them, but if you're like most people, beginning a new habit can be an uphill battle, and you will probably have to work at it for some time to make it a routine.  There is a mindset though that can help you as you begin your transformation from who you are right now to the best version of you.  Creating new habits is not just about adding something new to our lives, it's about becoming someone different in the process.  Terri Savelle Foy, in her book, Live Your Dreams:  A 90 Day Dreams and Goals Devotional, poses the question, "Who do you need to become in order to have the dreams in your heart?"  

    Most of the habits and resolutions we make are not about the action itself, but about who we become by doing that action.  If you set a resolution to eat more salads this year, it's probably not just because you feel like eating salad.  It's because you want to become a healthier person.  Likewise, if your goal is to make time for a weekly date night, it's not just for the fun of date night, it's because you want to become a better spouse. 

    Sometimes amidst the struggle of trying to create new routines, we forget that it's about the process of becoming.  We want so desperately to get the end result, being ten pounds lighter or speaking that new language, that we forget the joy in the journey.  Growth takes time and effort, but keeping this mindset in perspective can help you along the way.  Jack Canfield states it beautifully in The Success Principles when he says, "What can never be taken away is who you have become in the process of achieving your goal."  

    Our habits and routines are the tools we use to reach our end goals, but ultimately, we have dreams and goals because of who we are and who we hope to become.  As you focus on your action steps this week, try to see yourself as your end goal, a healthy person, or a debt free individual, or an entrepreneur. See yourself as the person you desire to create through your new habits. The more you change your vision of yourself, the easier it will be to align your actions with that vision. Arnold Schwarzenegger said, "Create a vision of who you want to be, and then live into that picture as if it were already true." 

    This week, keep working on your new habits, routines, and goals, but allow your focus to rest on the bigger picture. Who are you becoming?  And what type of life are you creating by your habits?  Keep the ideal version of you in mind, and it will be a lot easier to live into your new habits.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Where We Came From

   Good Morning Friends!  Did you hit the ground running after new years?  Or did you slack off and fall into your old 2020 patterns?  Or maybe you fell somewhere in between. Sometimes we try so hard to start so many new habits at the beginning of the year that we derail and overwhelm ourselves from the start. No matter how your year kicked off, there is benefit to taking time to slow down, refocus, and look back and reflect on how far you've come. For those of us who are always trying to improve and hit goals, sometimes we can be hard on ourselves, and we forget how much we have already accomplished.  But, in the profound words of my husband, "You have your whole life to figure your life out."  Sometimes amidst our struggle and hustle to get better, we need to simply press pause and take a look back over our shoulder to see just how much ground we've already covered.  Here are a few practices which can help you as you do that. 

1.  Slow down with Meditation 

    Taking some time daily to simply sit still and breath can help us to slow the chaos of our minds and re-center ourselves. If you've never tried this before and it feels intimidating, I promise you, it's not.  You can go on YouTube and search for Meditations for Beginners, and you will pull up all sorts of short guided meditation which you can give a try to.  The point is really to slow down and focus on just breathing and being in the moment.  This practice is beneficial in many ways, but especially as you train yourself to begin being more mindful in your day to day life. 

2.  Be Still and Know

    If you're a believer, like I am, then you probably know that God says in his word, "Be still and know that I am God."  But how many of us really practice this on a regular basis?  Do we stop and simply dwell on God and allow his Spirit to speak to ours?  If we did, you can bet we would have more peace and wisdom in our lives, and we wouldn't be trying to carry the weight of the world all by ourselves. The verses below might give you a good place to start.  Spend some time dwelling on them and allowing God to speak to your heart today. (Psalm 46:10, Isaiah 26:3, James 1:5, Matthew 11:38-30)

3.  Look Back with Gratitude

    Practicing being grateful on a daily basis is a great way to bring more joy and positivity into our lives.  But looking back at where we started and seeing how far we've come is also helpful for us to keep on moving forward.  Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily struggles, that we neglect to see and be thankful for where we are.  When was the last time you sat down and thought about your circumstances five years ago verses now?  Was your job different?  Are you healthier now?  Do you have more savings and less debt?  Have you started new habits?  Take a few minutes to really reflect and be thankful for where you are.  Sometimes the journey ahead looks long, but you've already come so far.  Use that knowledge to propel you forward. 

    It might seem counterintuitive to slow down at the beginning of the year when you are just trying to ramp up your new habits.  But often times, slow and steady wins the race as the age old tale has been trying to tell us.  When you run full speed ahead into all the busyness of life day after day, you eventually burn yourself out and stop your progress.  But if you can learn to be mindful, to listen for God's quiet leading, and to look back with gratitude, you will find your journey is a lot lighter.  Take the time to slow down, be still, and be thankful today.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Biting off More than You Can Chew

   Hi Friends!  I hope you are forging ahead into the new year and working on the goals you have set for yourself.  If you're anything like me though, you may have made a classic mistake going into the new year.  I have been chasing down goals for a lot of years now, and I still tend for fall for this one.  It's so easy to do, because when you write your goals down, you feel hopeful and excited about all you want to accomplish, so naturally, when you lay out your action steps, you immediately try to work on them all at once.  For example, trying to work on your health goal, your relationship goal, your financial goal, your personal goal, and your career goal all at once. Just me?  No?  

    I've talked to you before about how to eat an elephant. You take one bite at a time (ie, small actionable steps towards your big goals.)  But what happens when you decide, "I can eat the elephant faster if I just take bigger bites."  Sounds logical right?  Unfortunately, this is a self destructive pattern.  Any parent will tell you that taking bigger bites doesn't generally lead to eating faster, it leads to choking.  

    Terri Savelle Foy says it this way, "If you focus on too many priorities, you will become one fragmented mess, incapable of completing your purpose and carrying out your vision."  (Live Your Dreams:  A 90 Day Dreams and Goals Devotional) I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like how I want to live. 

    The experts (you know, the people who actually have achieved their dreams and goals and been deemed successful), say you should focus on no more than one to three goals at a time.  Yikes!  That's a hard one for me.  I'm preaching to the choir here, believe me.  I generally write out ten goals for the year, and I attempt to work on all ten at once, then get frustrated and have to scale back.  Wouldn't it be better to just focus on one at a time?  Even if you spend one month focusing and building a habit related to each of ten goals, you would still have two months left over to spare for slip ups.  (Not that you have any of those, right?)

    So here it is.  If you are feeling overwhelmed by your goals already (or if you meant to set some goals and didn't yet), take some time and decide which of your goals is the most important to you first.  After all, you only have so much time, mental energy, and will power.  Then, commit to a habit related to that goal for one month.  Once you have established that habit, move on to the next one.  

    If you're feeling stressed out, fragmented, or overwhelmed by your goals already this year, it's ok.  Take a step back. Breathe. Stop trying to do so much.  You're only human. Pick one goal and get focused on that.  You can eat that elephant, one SMALL bite at a time.  Make it your best year yet, friends!  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.