Stay Out of the Game

  I was having a conversation with my son the other day, and to understand this conversation, you need to know that my son struggles with a behavioral disorder.  He's getting better, but he still has difficult days, and one of the things that tends to send him over the edge is when people around him start getting rowdy.  To any one else it might seem like a normal wrestling match or game of football, but for him, once the rough play gets started, it's almost impossible to get him to stop, and unlike most kids who will only play to a certain degree of roughness, he will continually escalate his actions until someone gets hurt.
  Knowing this, I was having a discussion with him about how he should choose to not even engage in these activities so that he doesn't get himself into trouble.  He felt (as any of us would) that it wasn't fair that he can't play what the other people are playing, but I explained to him that the wise thing to do if you know you struggle in an area is to not put yourself in a situation where your struggle will be magnified.  This is a hard concept for a seven year old, and I know that it's a hard concept for most adults, but I think it's so important for us to grasp this idea.  So many of us think that if we are really tough we will learn how to face our temptations and overcome them, but the best way to win that battle is by not engaging our temptations at all.  This means, if you have to make a deliberate decision to avoid something for your own protection, you should do it.
  In the Lord's prayer, Jesus did not ask God to help us overcome temptation, but to deliver us from it.  "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."  (Matthew 6:13)  Too many of us think we need to face our struggles head on, and in some cases this might be true, but in the case of our specific weaknesses, one of the best tactics can be avoidance.  Just as an alcoholic who has become sober might avoid the bar, or a smoker who has quit may avoid going outside with other smokers, we must learn our triggers and learn to guard our hearts and minds.
  For me, I work very hard to not let my life be ruled by fear.  Part of this means I don't watch scary movies.  If all my friends are going to see the newest thriller, I simply don't go.  I know that if I put that into my mind I will dwell on it later and create fear in my life.  Therefore, I chose to avoid things that I know will trigger or encourage the negative habit of fear.
  I also have a lot of songs that I really love, but I chose not to listen to.  Why?  Because I know they are creating an angry, sad, or bad attitude in me.  I strive to have a positive mental attitude, and this means I choose my playlist wisely and avoid songs that I know will trigger the opposite.
  Bruce Wilkinson addresses this concept in his book, The Prayer of Jabez.  He says, "Most of us face too many temptations--and therefore sin too often--because we don't ask God to lead us away from temptation."   We must learn to guard our hearts as Proverbs 4:23 says, "for everything you do flows from it."
  I really want to encourage you today to get to know yourself.  Learn your triggers, and develop the courage to avoid them.  You will see so much more success by not engaging your temptation rather than trying to fight it constantly.  Just as if you were on a diet, you would not want to keep a kitchen full of cookies and treats, so, if you want to keep yourself out of trouble, you must learn to get rid of those things that could cause you trouble.  After all, "out of sight, out of mind."  I hope you will take this advice to heart today.  Protect yourself and use wisdom.  Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean you can or should.  Just a little heartfelt talk from a mom.  I love you all and can't wait to see you succeed.

~K.W.