When Things Aren't Good

  Ok, so I'm going to be honest with you guys.  Sometimes our prayers don't get answered the way we want.  In fact, sometimes it seems like the opposite of what you prayed for happens.  But here's the thing.  I believe when this happens and things don't go the way we wanted or hoped or begged God for, we have two choices.  We can choose to say, "Ok, here is the hand I've been dealt.  I believe God is good, and I believe I can do all things through His strength, so I can handle this, and I can use it to bring about good in my life and the lives of others."  Or, we can get angry, feel sad, and blame God, give up on His love, doubt His goodness.  Maybe that's the place where you're at today.  And if you are, it's ok.  Believe me, I've been there.  And you know what?  God is big enough and good enough to love you even when you don't love Him or trust Him.  In fact, the Bible says He chose to love us when we were still ignorant to Him and doing our own thing.  (1 John 4:19)
  When I was 16 my dad had a conversation with me which I will always remember.  I was going through some very tough times.  I had been rejected by a lot of people...all of them people who claimed they loved God and wanted what was "best" for me, but their actions were not of God and were not love.  As I struggled and wrestled with all the turmoil inside me, I sat down one day on a porch swing with my dad and I said, "I don't think I even believe in God anymore."  I was feeling so much hurt and pain, and had experienced so much rejection at the hands of "good Christian people" that I was questioning God's goodness and even His very existence.  My dad, rather than being riled or angry about these words simply said, "I believe God is big enough to show you He is real and He loves you, even if you don't believe in Him right now.  He will always bring you back."  My dad's quiet confidence and rock solid faith pulled at something in my heart that day.  It was a reminder that life may not always be fair.  People may not always be kind.  But God is so much bigger than all that.  He is able to work in the very worst of circumstances if we let Him.  He will not force us to choose Him, and He will continue to love us even when we don't.  If you're still running today, still questioning, still hurting, let me just tell you that you are loved, that you have value, and that your life was meant for so much more than hurt, anger and sadness.  You were made to shine.  Give God a chance to work on your brokenness.  You don't have to clean up your life before you reach out to Him.  He loves you right where you are at.
  I can share with you that God did find me, and it wasn't all smooth sailing from there, but having God as my Rock had enabled me to face every challenge I've encountered since then because I had a solid foundation.  And you know what?  I've been able to use those hurtful experiences from my past to form the very basis of who I am today.  I am someone who loves, accepts, and keeps judgement out of my religion.  I believe if God can love you wherever you're at, than I can too, and since I don't have it all together, I don't expect you to either.  I love open and honest conversations with people from all walks of life, and I believe if it wasn't for those things I went through I might not have become this person.  
  We don't always know the reason for our pain, and if you are questioning God right now, just know that He is big enough to handle it.  He can reveal Himself to you in ways you never imagined possible.  Keep searching for Him, and you will find Him.  (Jeremiah 29:11-14)  I'm praying for you; I love you, and I can't wait to see you overcome your obstacles and make this the best life ever.

~K.W.