Chaos or Character

   "Discrepancies between values and practices create chaos in a person's life." John C. Maxwell says this in his book, Today Matters. Reading this struck a chord with me. You see, I am a person of strong values.  I hold to my values like a dog to a bone, and those who know me best know that I am not afraid to leave a job or an organization if my values are not in alignment.  However, our values are not just tested by these large, rare, major life decision moments. Although, that is where they are demonstrated most noticeably.  Our values, however, are reinforced and come in to question most with our actions every day.  Our values are not just the final destination, they are the lamppost, lighting the way for us to take each step. 

    Our core values must be lived out daily, or we risk creating chaos in our souls.  And in fact, many of our internal struggles could be eliminated if we learned to live true to what's most important. Our core values must shine through in our habits if we are to truly be at peace with ourselves.  Too often we are impatient and angry and we place the blame on those around us, when in reality, the ones to blame are ourselves.  Let me explain... perhaps one of your core values is commitment, and you may be excellent at keeping your commitment to your job, your local community organizations, and your spouse.  But are you keeping your commitments to yourself?  What about the decision you made to work out three times a week?  Or to stay on track with your budget?  If you are letting yourself down in the commitment department, you are failing to hold to your values, and you are creating inner turmoil which will manifest itself in all sorts of negative ways.  

Here are three ways to make sure you are minimizing chaos by staying in alignment with what matters most to you.  

1.  Know what you value

    If someone asked you what your core values were, could you list them out?  I hope that you could name at least a few without even thinking about it, and if you can't, I encourage you to think hard about what's important to you and put it down on paper.  Then, start using those values to guide your actions daily.  Not knowing your core values is like trying to take a trip without knowing where you are headed.  Figure out your coordinates and move in that direction.

2.  Don't forget the small things

    Reaffirming our values through small daily actions is how we can most clearly demonstrate what is important to us.  For example, let's say you value your health.  It may be logical for you then to avoid smoking cigarettes or taking illegal drugs, but those are the major decisions.  What about holding to your values by eating healthfully and exercising? If you are not choosing those small daily health practices, you are creating discord in your life.  You say you value being healthy, but you are not taking the steps to do so.  This causes you to be frustrated with yourself for not living in alignment with what is important to you.  Make a decision to get yourself in agreement with the small daily habits that confirm your values. 

3.  Don't compromise

    Holding to your values when others are watching is usually pretty easy.  After all, if there are witnesses, you probably aren't likely to steal from someone or to do something questionable.  But what about when no one is watching, when no one will know except you?  Do you hold to your values then?  If you choose to disregard your values when there is no audience, you will create guilt, shame, and fear which will hold you captive and keep you from living freely.  Make the choice to stick to your values, even when no one will know but you.  

    Living your values is a decision that must be made daily.  Choose today what your values are.  Then make a commitment to those values even in the small things, and hold to your commitment when no one knows but you.  This will help you to live in harmony with yourself and to be at peace with your life.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.