Head Knowledge

  I want to talk to you today about forgiveness.  And I want to let you know that forgiveness starts in the head, not the heart.  Seems counterintuitive doesn't it?  It would seem to us that forgiveness is a heart issue.  After all, we have to let go of hurts and wrongs and injuries to our feelings and ego and learn to love the offender again.  But what I believe is that, while our feelings may not always want to forgive, we can make a conscientious decision to forgive.  Forgiveness starts with simply deciding you want to forgive, and then saying out loud and in your thoughts, "I forgive them."  You still may not feel forgiving when you say this, but as you begin to tell you head that you've forgiven, your heart will begin to follow suit.  Another great way to grow forgiveness (and this is a tough one)  is to pray for good things for the person who hurt you.  Ouch!  This one can sting a bit... sometimes we want to wish all kinds of evil on people who wronged us, but choosing to hope for good things for them will begin to help us let go of the hurts.  And lastly, if you're a Christian, one of the easiest ways to begin to forgive is to put their offense to you in comparison to your offense to God.  Our sin caused God to give up His one and only Son to die for us.  Often times, when I put the petty little things people have done to me in the light of the grace I have received from God, I realize my grudge is not worth holding on to or even worrying about.
  Little disclaimer here.  I do not believe that forgiveness means you have to open yourself up to a dangerous or hurtful situation or that your trust with that person has to be restored.  Forgiveness is you choosing to let go of the hurt and love anyway, but if the other person is not willing or able to change right now, you do not have to continue to allow them to hurt you.  Just as I might forgive my son for breaking a cup at dinner, that does not necessarily mean I will trust him to have a glass cup at the next dinner.  It doesn't mean I haven't forgiven his previous actions, it just means that the wisdom I have gained from the past experience tells me he is not mature yet and cannot be trusted in that area.  Make sense?
  I know some of you out there have some big hurts, and it may take  lifetime to fully let them go.  Forgiveness is not usually a one time choice.  If you have been majorly impacted in a negative way by someone's actions, you may have to choose over and over multiple times a day to forgive that person.  But I can promise you, the rewards of living a life free of anger and grudges is worth the fight to forgive.  You will experience more peace, not only in your spirit, but in your relationships with others too.  I know first hand the pain of betrayal and loss, and I also know the blessings and peace which come with letting go and living your life in love.  Who do you need to forgive today?  Be brave, make a choice, and tell your mind, "I forgive them."  I love you and can't wait to see the victory that's in store for you!

~K.W.