Want vs. Need Part 2

     A popular song right now has the lyrics, "I should probably go to bed."  (Dan + Shay, "I Should Probably Go To Bed") Ever thought this to yourself?  I know; me too.  But then we proceed to scroll social media, watch TV, or stay up eating junk for another hour... or two... or four... no judgement here.  The thing is, most of us know what we need... more sleep, a less hectic schedule, more fresh air, a healthier meal, etc..  But most of the time we let our wants lead us instead of our needs.  

    We need a salad, but we want to eat a bag of chips.  We need to get eight hours of sleep, but we want to binge watch our favorite show...again.  There is a constant battle back and forth between those things.  The real magic happens when we align what we want and what we need; when we learn that deep down, what we want is to stop feeling tired and sluggish all the time, so therefore, what we want is to go to bed on time.  

    The more we start to see our habits in line with who we want to become, the easier it becomes to choose to do the things we need to do, because they become the things we want to do.  James Clear says it this way, "Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become." (Atomic Habits) When you can really get this concept down in your heart, then it's no longer difficult to decided what to do.  You know who you are becoming, and so you make your choices in line with that identity.  ie...I am a healthy person (So you choose the salad).

    This is not the first time I've talked about this war between want vs. need, and in fact, you can check out my previous writing on it here. What's important though, is that we learn to recognize this battle and start to reconcile our thoughts to make our wants and needs the same things.  For example, I tried for a long time to cut sugar out of my diet, but it was so hard to resist because I wanted to eat candy or dessert.  But when I started noticing how terrible sugar makes me feel, I stopped wanting to eat it, and now, I rarely reach for the donut or cupcake, because I know sugar is not what I need, and it's also not how I want to feel.  I've aligned those two thoughts and created better habits for myself.  

    Where in your life do you need to start matching up your wants and needs so they are no longer in conflict but can work together to help you with becoming the person you desire to be?  Start today to find the wants which can fuel your needs, and build your habits around them.  You will discover renewed energy to pursue your goals and create better habits when you make what you need the same as what you want.  And yes, we probably all should go to bed.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Seasons

   Good Morning, Friends!  I overheard someone this week say it's amazing how beautiful fall is because the colors in the trees are actually produced by the leaves dying.  What a strange paradox.  We often think of beauty as growth, renewal, springtime, and newness, but arguably, one of the most beautiful times of year is actually a dying and letting go process for the trees.  

    I think our lives are a lot like this also.  We go through seasons.  Sometimes we are in the easy, lazy summer-like days, where we don't have a care in the world.  Sometimes, we are in the throws of something new, and we feel the life and energy of spring coursing through us.  There are times when we are in the barren, difficult, cold season of winter and struggle.  And then there are the times when we must let go, move on, and choose to get rid of things.  These can be difficult times, but they can also be beautiful if we let them.  

    I've heard it said somewhere that "the enemy of great is good."  How true this is in our lives.  When we are in winter, we can't wait to get over the struggle and get back to spring and growth, but when we are in summer, enjoying a good time, it can be so hard to realize it's time to start letting go and moving towards something else.  

    There is a children's story called "little tree" by Loren Long.  In this story, little tree decides it is better to hold on to the leaves it has, rather than to let them go.  Have you been there?  Perhaps you knew you needed to move forward, but the thought of surrendering what you currently had just seemed too painful, so you kept desperately clinging to the old dead leaves in your life.  

    Sadly, little tree discovers, that by holding on to the leaves it had, it misses the opportunity to grow new leaves in the spring time.  Are there opportunities you are missing because you won't let go of the once green leaves which now are hanging dead and preventing you from moving on?  If we want to be truly fruitful and productive and live our best lives, we must learn to embrace the seasons.  We must be willing to let go sometimes, knowing that in the letting go, we may have to move through a hard winter season, but the beauty of new growth awaits us on the other side.  

    Don't let the beauty of the season you are in pass you by while trying to hold on to the season you were in before.  Be willing to let things end.  The beauty of fall and even winter is the promise of spring and summer ahead.  No matter which season you find yourself in, choose to enjoy it, and realize that all seasons do pass.  We are not meant to stay stagnant.  Keep moving, and find the colors in every season.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Ink It

     Hey Friends!  Can you believe we are halfway through October?  The year is nearing the end, and for many of us, those New Year's resolutions we made back in January may be just a distant memory.  You may have forgotten them weeks, days, or even hours after saying them.  Even if you wrote them all down, they may be shoved in a drawer some where, or you might have tossed them in the garbage mid way through the year and decided to start over next year.  

    Well, the good news is, you don't have to wait until next year.  You can start right now to set your intentions and go after them.  And I want to strongly encourage you to write down your goals, not just so you don't forget what they were, but so you can look at them regularly and keep them in the forefront of your mind.  This is one of the most important steps you can take on the journey to reaching your goals. And here are three types of goals you should have written down if you want to take your life to the next level.  Are you ready?

1.  Long term goals (5 years or more)

    Ask yourself, what do I want my life to look like 5 years from now.  And then start writing.  Write down things like how you will look, who you hang out with, what you drive, where you live, what vacations you take, and what impact you are having on the world.  Sometimes we think our big goals aren't attainable because we can't accomplish them in a month or a year, but we have to keep our eye on the long-term game if we want to truly become all that we are called to be.  Don't let another five years pass without stretching to a new level.  

2.  Yearly goals

    Ok, so a lot of us probably set New Year's resolutions.  But we have to write those resolutions down and look at them on a consistent basis if we want to actually move towards accomplishing them over the course of 365 days.  Begin now to think about what you want to take action to achieve over the next year.   Set goals for the major areas of your life, health, wealth, spiritual, relationships, mental, and career.  Remember, you won't get better by accident.  You have to aim for the things you want.

3.  Monthly goals

    Even if you set yearly goals, that is still a large chunk of time to not lose focus.  So set yourself monthly goals that are in line with your bigger goals.  If you plan to read twelve books this year, then set yourself a goal to read one book this month.  If you want to save $1000 this year, then set yourself a goal to save $85 this month.  Having monthly goals helps you recalibrate on a frequent basis and makes sure you stay on track with your larger goals.  

    I encourage you to take some time today and really begin thinking about these three types of goals.  Start with your five year image and get it down on paper.  Take what you hope to become and break it into concrete goals.  "I have $5000 in savings."  Or, "I am at my ideal weight of ___"  Then decide what you want to strive for in the next year.  Break down those bigger long range goals into smaller chunks.  And lastly, get focused by setting your monthly goals as stepping stones to where you want to be.  You can accomplish so much, but it all starts with writing it down.  

    Habakkuk 2:2 says, "Write the vision and make it plain"

    Start today and write it down!  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.

Are We There Yet?

     Hello, Friends!  Fall is here, and with it, the holiday festivities are beginning.  Halloween decorations are going up, and Christmas items are already for sale at stores across the country. Holidays can be great because they are filled with joy and excitement, but what if we could live with joy and excitement all year long?  What if you could truly create a life you love living? 

    For many of us, when we think of our ideal life, we might think of white sandy beaches and crystal clear ocean waters.  Or maybe of mountain retreats or luxurious food and drinks.  But while many of us think having more and doing more is the secret to a fulfilling life, we miss the fact that the true joy is in the journey, not just in the destination.  

    Getting away to the ocean is one of my favorite things, and there is nothing I love more than taking friends and family with me to spend time with enjoying food, conversation, and activities.  But someone once said, "Create a life you don't need to escape from."  What a powerful statement.  This isn't to say you won't still want to go on vacation, but that vacations and trips are just the cherry on top of a very rewarding ice cream life. 

    So how do you create your ideal life even if you don't wake up tomorrow as a multimillionaire?  It starts with assessing what you truly want.  What is is about your imaginary ideal life that truly has meaning?  Is it more free time?  Doing certain activities you love?  Spending time with people you admire?  Whatever it is that has meaning to you, that is the first thing you should start to aim for as you create a life worth living.  If family time is the most important thing for you, then plan your life around that.  Make your family time sacred, and cater your job and other priorities to that.  Maybe you have a passion or feel called to create something, then make that your focus. Write out what is most important to you, and you will start to see what you should invest in. When you have your priorities in line, you can direct your time, money, and energy towards what matters most to you, and this in and of itself creates a shift towards a very fulfilling life. 

    Secondly, begin to develop routines that fit your life goals.  When you envision your perfect life, how do you envision yourself?  Are you in peak physical shape?  Do you have lots of friends?  Are you a great conversationalist?  Whatever you envision yourself as, start building routines into your life that will help you fit the idea you have created in your head.  If you envision yourself as healthy, then start choosing healthier routines in your daily life.  If you picture yourself surrounded by friends, then start making more friends.  Join a club or group where you can meet new people.  As you create routines that fit your ideal vision of who you want to become, you will find that your days are enjoyable because you are becoming more and more like the person you want to be. 

    Lastly, determine what elements of your picturesque ideal life you can incorporate easily into your life right now.  Maybe you enjoy daily walks on the beach when you are on vacation.  Can you incorporate an outdoor walk into your life now?  Perhaps it's going out to eat, or sharing a meal with family that brings you joy.  Can you find ways to make this happen in your everyday life?  You don't have to save those special moments for the few times a year when you are on vacation or holiday break.  Find ways to incorporate the elements you love throughout your regular life.  

    As you start to focus your life around the things you truly care about, create routines which help you become who you want to be, and incorporate special elements throughout your day and week, you will find that your life becomes a beautiful journey, rather than constantly asking yourself, "Are we there yet?"  Don't spend your life saying, "I'll be happy when..." (vacation comes, I retire, the kids move out, I get a raise, ect...).  Find ways to be filled with joy now, and make everyday a day you are excited about.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

    

Finish Strong

    Hey Friends!  Fall is here, and we are 92 days away from the end of 2020.  Can you believe it?  If you're like me, this year has probably looked and felt a lot different than you expected, and you may have had to change your goals and expectations multiple times during this ever shifting year.  I hope you have used this year to re-evaluate, figure out what truly matters, and pursue your passions more than ever before.  But the year isn't over, and if you had a rough go of it, you can still make this year count.  

    Many people give up and check out by this point in the year. After all, school has started, the holidays will soon be upon us, and at this point you mind as well wait until New Year's and start fresh, right?  Wrong!  There is so much potential in the end of the year.  Now is the time to attack new habits and to finish 2020 strong.  Now is the time to establish new and stronger habits so that when you set those New Year's intentions, you are going into 2021 with momentum.  

    If you're fired up and ready to crush the end of this year, or maybe you still need a little convincing,  here are a few habits/challenges I participate in, and you can too to finish this year with a bang.  

1.  Last 90 Days with Rachel Hollis

    Ok, so this is a new one for me this year, but it's a challenge I'm really excited about.  Rachel Hollis is a life coach/author/all around motivator, and she offers a FREE last 90 days challenge.  If you haven't gotten in on this, SIGN UP!  Here's the link: Last90Days

If you are looking to really kick it up a notch for the end of the year, and also be motivated and inspired by a community of people and free teaching, then you won't want to miss this. 

2.  Planksgiving

    Ok, so this one might sound a bit corny, but Planksgiving is no joke.  I participate every year, and it is a challenge.  If you google Planksgiving, you will come up with any number of routines you can follow.  Here's the one I have been doing every November for years:  Planksgiving Challenge

See if you can complete the whole challenge, and feel free to post your progress on my social media page. @KLWhiteHartman.  Nothing like coming out of Turkey Day with stronger abs.

3.  Declutter Challenge

    This is something I like to do at the end of the year because it helps get the house in order before Christmas  comes and my child comes home with a massive haul of new toys that we have to find space for.  It's also a great way to start the year with a clean home and fresh space.  You can find any number of decluttering challenges online.  You can go by room or by number of items to get rid of per day.  

I like the idea of getting rid of the number of items that coincide with the day... for example, on day 1 you get rid of 1 item, on day 15 you get rid of 15 items, ect...  This can be a simple and quick way to help you clear out all that extra clutter.  If you need ideas, just type "declutter challenge" into Google.  

    No matter if you choose all three of these challenges, or pick some of your own, I encourage you to not waste the end of this year.  How you finish this year sets you up for how you start the New Year.  Finish strong and begin 2021 with your motivation high.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.