Where We Came From

   Good Morning Friends!  Did you hit the ground running after new years?  Or did you slack off and fall into your old 2020 patterns?  Or maybe you fell somewhere in between. Sometimes we try so hard to start so many new habits at the beginning of the year that we derail and overwhelm ourselves from the start. No matter how your year kicked off, there is benefit to taking time to slow down, refocus, and look back and reflect on how far you've come. For those of us who are always trying to improve and hit goals, sometimes we can be hard on ourselves, and we forget how much we have already accomplished.  But, in the profound words of my husband, "You have your whole life to figure your life out."  Sometimes amidst our struggle and hustle to get better, we need to simply press pause and take a look back over our shoulder to see just how much ground we've already covered.  Here are a few practices which can help you as you do that. 

1.  Slow down with Meditation 

    Taking some time daily to simply sit still and breath can help us to slow the chaos of our minds and re-center ourselves. If you've never tried this before and it feels intimidating, I promise you, it's not.  You can go on YouTube and search for Meditations for Beginners, and you will pull up all sorts of short guided meditation which you can give a try to.  The point is really to slow down and focus on just breathing and being in the moment.  This practice is beneficial in many ways, but especially as you train yourself to begin being more mindful in your day to day life. 

2.  Be Still and Know

    If you're a believer, like I am, then you probably know that God says in his word, "Be still and know that I am God."  But how many of us really practice this on a regular basis?  Do we stop and simply dwell on God and allow his Spirit to speak to ours?  If we did, you can bet we would have more peace and wisdom in our lives, and we wouldn't be trying to carry the weight of the world all by ourselves. The verses below might give you a good place to start.  Spend some time dwelling on them and allowing God to speak to your heart today. (Psalm 46:10, Isaiah 26:3, James 1:5, Matthew 11:38-30)

3.  Look Back with Gratitude

    Practicing being grateful on a daily basis is a great way to bring more joy and positivity into our lives.  But looking back at where we started and seeing how far we've come is also helpful for us to keep on moving forward.  Sometimes we get so caught up in our daily struggles, that we neglect to see and be thankful for where we are.  When was the last time you sat down and thought about your circumstances five years ago verses now?  Was your job different?  Are you healthier now?  Do you have more savings and less debt?  Have you started new habits?  Take a few minutes to really reflect and be thankful for where you are.  Sometimes the journey ahead looks long, but you've already come so far.  Use that knowledge to propel you forward. 

    It might seem counterintuitive to slow down at the beginning of the year when you are just trying to ramp up your new habits.  But often times, slow and steady wins the race as the age old tale has been trying to tell us.  When you run full speed ahead into all the busyness of life day after day, you eventually burn yourself out and stop your progress.  But if you can learn to be mindful, to listen for God's quiet leading, and to look back with gratitude, you will find your journey is a lot lighter.  Take the time to slow down, be still, and be thankful today.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Biting off More than You Can Chew

   Hi Friends!  I hope you are forging ahead into the new year and working on the goals you have set for yourself.  If you're anything like me though, you may have made a classic mistake going into the new year.  I have been chasing down goals for a lot of years now, and I still tend for fall for this one.  It's so easy to do, because when you write your goals down, you feel hopeful and excited about all you want to accomplish, so naturally, when you lay out your action steps, you immediately try to work on them all at once.  For example, trying to work on your health goal, your relationship goal, your financial goal, your personal goal, and your career goal all at once. Just me?  No?  

    I've talked to you before about how to eat an elephant. You take one bite at a time (ie, small actionable steps towards your big goals.)  But what happens when you decide, "I can eat the elephant faster if I just take bigger bites."  Sounds logical right?  Unfortunately, this is a self destructive pattern.  Any parent will tell you that taking bigger bites doesn't generally lead to eating faster, it leads to choking.  

    Terri Savelle Foy says it this way, "If you focus on too many priorities, you will become one fragmented mess, incapable of completing your purpose and carrying out your vision."  (Live Your Dreams:  A 90 Day Dreams and Goals Devotional) I don't know about you, but that doesn't sound like how I want to live. 

    The experts (you know, the people who actually have achieved their dreams and goals and been deemed successful), say you should focus on no more than one to three goals at a time.  Yikes!  That's a hard one for me.  I'm preaching to the choir here, believe me.  I generally write out ten goals for the year, and I attempt to work on all ten at once, then get frustrated and have to scale back.  Wouldn't it be better to just focus on one at a time?  Even if you spend one month focusing and building a habit related to each of ten goals, you would still have two months left over to spare for slip ups.  (Not that you have any of those, right?)

    So here it is.  If you are feeling overwhelmed by your goals already (or if you meant to set some goals and didn't yet), take some time and decide which of your goals is the most important to you first.  After all, you only have so much time, mental energy, and will power.  Then, commit to a habit related to that goal for one month.  Once you have established that habit, move on to the next one.  

    If you're feeling stressed out, fragmented, or overwhelmed by your goals already this year, it's ok.  Take a step back. Breathe. Stop trying to do so much.  You're only human. Pick one goal and get focused on that.  You can eat that elephant, one SMALL bite at a time.  Make it your best year yet, friends!  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.

It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

 Hi Friends!

    It's New Years!  And this is my absolute favorite time of the year.  There is so much potential in New Years.  It's when the whole world gets to take a deep breath and start fresh.  At New Years, we all have new hope and new goals.  And this year especially, that feels particularly needed.  We have all lived through a pretty crazy year that has disrupted our lives, and for some of us derailed our dreams and our finances, and at the very least delayed our vacations.  This might have been a year for you where you were just hanging on, just hoping to make it through, and if it was, that's ok.  But what I want to tell you today is that you can move on from here and make next year your best year yet.  Here's how...

1.  Don't Keep Dwelling On the Past

    I believe most of us experienced some hurts or major disappointments this year.  Maybe it was homeschooling your kid, losing you job, the death of someone close to you, or missing special holidays or family vacations.  And honestly, it can be so easy to get stuck in the hurt and disappointment and keep reliving it over and over.  But living bitter, angry, and with "if only" playing in your head will not move you forward.  These thoughts will cause you to stay stuck and mired in your past.  I experienced this for a few months this year, and here's what I did to let it go.  First, I got it all out on paper.  I wrote down what I was upset over, how I was feeling, all my disappointment, hurt, and frustration that I had bottled up, I got it out on the page.  Next, I accepted that those things had happened, and I could not change them.  Lastly, I chose to forgive.  I may not have felt it, but the moment those feelings started to creep in, I combatted them by saying out loud, "I forgive _______ for ________."  For major hurts and disappointments, this may not be an immediate process.  You may have to practice it more than once.  But working through your hurts is far better than allowing them to continue weighing your down and holding you back every day. If you are hurting from disappointments this year, I encourage you to try this process out so you can walk into the new year with a fresh mindset and not hung up on the past. 

2.  Get Your Goals On Paper

    If you have read my blog for a while or spent any time around me, you will know that getting your goals on paper is something I harp on.  Why?  Because this step is so crucial to you achieving your goals.  Want to know why a majority of people give up on their new year's goals before the first month of the year is even over?  Because they don't remember them!  They get a great idea of all the things they want to accomplish, but they never write it down, and if they do write it down, they don't keep it in front of them.  These two steps are so crucial.  Your mind goes toward what you stay focused on (hence the reason you want to stop dwelling on the past hurts.)  If you put your goals on paper and put them where you can see them every day, you will be propelling yourself so much farther ahead towards achieving those goals in this new year.  

3.  Get in Motion

    Have you heard the expression, "Dreams don't work if you don't"?  You can have the biggest, best dreams and goals in the world, and you can write them down and look at them every day, but if you never take a step toward them, you won't achieve them.  Terri Savelle Foy says "You have to put legs to your dreams."  Just as important as writing down your goals is writing down the action steps you will take toward your goals, and then doing those steps!  If you are trying to be healthier, what action steps will you take?  Drink 8 cups of water a day?  Eat a vegetable at every meal?  Do a ten minute workout a few times a week?  Whatever your goal is, write down the steps you will take to achieve it.  And follow through!  

    Bottom line is, you don't have to remain stuck in the past, wallowing in the hurts and failures of last year.  You have a chance to start fresh and new, and while all the difficult things won't magically go away at the stroke of midnight, you can choose to go into next year with a renewed mindset, a written set of goals, and an action plan.  Happy New Year Friends!  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

A Christmas Blog

   

Hello there, and Merry Christmas!  If you are a nerd like me, you might have read A Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens, or if you're not, you've probably at least seen the movie and know the idea.  And, (spoiler alert), in the story, Ebenezer Scrooge is taken by three ghosts to view scenes from his past, present, and future. While I don't expect any of us to be taken on a wild adventure such as this on Christmas Eve, I do think it would do us good if, like Scrooge, we took time this season to consider our past, present, and future.  

    Past

As you look back over the past few months, years, and your life, what are you focusing on?  Are you looking at all the hurts, injustices, frustrations, and negative things that have happened to you?  Are you replaying those painful memories again and again?  If you are, you are poisoning your present.  We all have hurts and negative circumstances in our past, but we also all have positive, good, and uplifting things in our past, and the great news is, when you revisit the past memories, you get to choose which ones you want to replay.  You can choose to replay the good things that have happened to you and not dwell on the negative.  You can choose thankfulness instead of disappointment.  Don't keep dragging those old hurts into the present.  Choose to create a positive vision of your past, and you will find much more joy in the present.

  Present

This season can bring so much hustle and bustle and overall busyness into our lives that it's easy to lose sight of the real reason we celebrate.  Do not allow your present to be tainted by the overwhelm that can so easily set in this time of year.  Instead, consciously take time to slow down.  Enjoy friends and family, savor a cup of hot chocolate or eggnog, read stories or watch movies you wouldn't normally, and most of all, take time to remember the reason for the season, the gift of peace and salvation granted to us over 2,000 years ago in a stable in Bethlehem.  

    Future

There is so much leading up to Christmas, preparing food, hosting guests, shopping and wrapping gifts, that we often forget to look beyond.  We do not realize that shortly after Christmas is a new year, a time to set new goals and new intentions, to let go of the old and pursue better. As you prepare for this holiday season, take the time to think about your future and to get your goals for next year down on paper.  Then, when the holiday rush is over, you will have a clear vision of where you are headed in the coming year.  

This Christmas, you can rush through, allow negative memories to taint your thoughts, and get so busy that you forget to plan for what’s next.  Or, you can purposefully choose to be grateful for your past, be present and joyful here and  now, and be prepared with a vision for your future.  Wishing you and yours a very Merry Christmas!  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Distractions

   Hello Friends! It’s the most wonderful time of the year! But if you’re anything like me it can also be the most unproductive time of the year. There are so many distractions which can pull us off course, and a lot of them are self inflicted. Staying up late to wrap presents or watch holiday movies, eating sugary cookies and junk food at holiday parties, and dealing with interrupted schedules are just a few of the distractions this time of year brings. All of these things are exciting and fun, and I’m not arguing that you abandoned them all together. But I would encourage you to finish the year with intention so you don’t leave this season feeling out of whack and as if you’ve lost your progress. Here are three ways to stay on track, while enjoying the holiday season.

1. Have a Plan

  Having a plan is crucial at any point in time, but especially during this time of year. Maybe you are trying to eat healthfully. Planning out which days are cheat days or meals around your holiday parties could help you to stay focused instead of abandoning your goal for the entire month. Preparing yourself in advance can help you navigate the detours of the holiday season. 

2.  Be Flexible 

  Holidays can interrupt our regular work, school, and family routines (as if this year hadn’t done that enough.) Going into the holidays knowing this can make a big difference in staying on track with your goals. Maybe you need to adjust your workout schedule to accommodate holiday travel. Or maybe you need to scale back your action steps for this month so you don’t overload your already busy schedule. Be flexible with yourself, and you will move through the season far more peacefully. 

3.  Pick Your Priorities

  All the shopping, gift wrapping, and entertaining can take up a lot of time, and that means you might not get as much done during the holidays as usual. That’s ok! Seasons are good. They give us an ebb and flow. If you have less time, don’t overload yourself  trying to accomplish the same work load. Instead, pick your most important priorities and stay focused on those. It’s ok to let a few of the less important things go for a few weeks. 

  This time of year can be overwhelming, but with a plan, some flexibility, and picking your priorities, you can enjoy the season and go into next year on track with your goals. Happy Holidays! I can’t wait to see you succeed! 

~KLW

Play Your Cards

   Hi Friends!  Have you ever felt like you've been dealt a bad hand?  Given an unfair shuffle?  Thought that if only you had different circumstances you could be more, do more, and have more?  I read something today that got me thinking about this very idea.  

  If you are familiar with the New Testament, you will know about a man named Paul.  If you aren't, here's a brief synopsis of his life.  Paul was originally named Saul.  He was a high level religious leader, and he was very zealous for his cause.  When the first Christians began to preach about Jesus, he was outraged.  He began to actively hunt down Christians to have them thrown in jail or killed.  In fact, he even went so far as to get permission to go to another city and hunt down Christians there.  

    On his way to the next city though, a miraculous event occurred.  Saul was struck down from his horse by a bright light, and he heard Jesus himself speak to him.  This event changed the entire trajectory of Saul's life.  So much so that he rebranded himself Paul and set out as a missionary for Jesus.  Things did not go well for Paul though when he made this life change.  He went from being a respected religious leader to being almost constantly beaten, imprisoned, and in danger for preaching about Christ.  He traveled from town to town, and was eventually transported to Rome where he was tried and killed, but not before he had the opportunity to preach the gospel to many in leadership throughout the Roman empire.  

    While in Rome, Paul was imprisoned on house arrest for two years awaiting his trial.  He used this time to write letters to encourage those towns he had preached the gospel to. Here's the thing.  What Paul didn't know, was that those little letters he was writing would come to make up a large segment of the New Testament, and 2,000 years later would still be impacting and encouraging people around the world.  Paul didn't know his letters would have this kind of reach; he was just doing what he could with what he had to glorify God where he was at.  

    Maybe you feel trapped or stuck where you are at right now.  Instead of feeling sorry for yourself, grumbling about how others have it better, or wishing you were elsewhere, ask yourself what you can do right now with what you have.  When you begin making the most of what you have with a good attitude for God, you have no idea the limits of your potential.  The small things you are doing in service to God may end up having a far reaching world impact, like Paul's letters did.  

    No matter what circumstances you find yourself in today, look around you and begin to use what you have.  Be a blessing where you are.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.

Take Off the Limits

   Hi Friends!  Today I want to share with you three thoughts that I got from Joel Osteen's book, You Can You Will:  8 Undeniable Qualities of a Winner. If you're familiar with Joel at all, you might know that he is super positive, and his messages reflect this attitude.  This has been a tough year, and I have heard a lot of negativity, but I'm hoping these three thoughts will encourage you and give you a boost if you've allowed the negative to start dragging you down.

1.  "A negative attitude will limit your life."  

    Ouch.  I don't know about you, but I don't like limits.  Something in me fights back when I hear, "No," "You Can't" or "Don't."  And when it comes to our potential, our dreams, our goals, we all want to be unlimited.  We want to keep growing our income, our mindset, and our success.  So why would we intentionally limit ourselves?  But having a negative mindset is just that.  When you allow yourself to focus on the negative and all the things that aren't going right, you are basically saying to yourself, "This is as good as it's going to get."  "This is how it's always been, so why should I expect any better?"  Or, "It's no use.  I mind as well give up.  I'll never make it." Take the limits off!  Choose to focus on the positive and believe for more.  Don't let the negative put limits on your mind and your life.

2.  "It's not your circumstances that make you negative, it's your attitude about those circumstances." 

    Nothing like putting the blame squarely where it belongs.  We want so badly to have someone or something to blame for the way we think and behave, but when it comes right down to it, our attitudes are our choice.  You can blame the weather, your mom, you boss, your finances, or your spouse for your entire life, and you will never move forward.  You are giving up all your power when you choose to believe that your circumstances control your mindset.  But when you take responsibility, admit that you are in control of you, and decide that you will remain positive no matter who or what you face today, then you can move forward.  You are at the wheel, and you are no longer letting people and situations drive you wherever they feel like.  You're in charge.  If you don't like the direction you're headed in, change it.  

3.  "You can't start the day in neutral."

    "Ok, that's all well and good."  You might be saying, "But my spouse really is a jerk."  Or, "My kid really is the worst."  If you know in advance that you will have to deal with negative people on a regular basis, then you cannot settle for just being defensive and reacting to everything that happens.  This is sure to set you up for failure.  You have to go on the offensive and set yourself up to win.  You have to prepare your mindset before you face the challenge.  Maybe that means you need to get up 15 minutes before your family so that you can meditate, pray, listen to a positive message, or just drink your coffee in peace.  Maybe you need to listen to uplifting messages on the way to work so that situation or person won't get the better of you again.  Part of owning your day is owning your mindset, and that means preparing in advance for the challenges you might face.  

  Learning to be positive can be tough if you have typically been a negative person.  But developing a positive outlook can take the limits off your life, give you control of your day, and allow you to choose your mindset rather than being controlled by every person and situation you face.  Determine today that you will take responsibility for your mindset, prepare in advance by putting positive messages in, and live with positive expectancy so you can go to the next level.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Thanksgiving?

   Happy Thanksgiving, Friends! It has been such an interesting year, and nothing has been as expected. Perhaps your Thanksgiving and holiday plans this year look much different than they ever have before. It can be so easy to let ourselves get mired in discouragement and frustration after all that has happened. But I encourage you to think back to the first Thanksgiving. 

   The pilgrims who celebrated the first Thanksgiving had endured a difficult year. They had traveled from England on The Mayflower. A troubled ocean crossing, as well as a landing at the wrong destination had caused them to have to stay on board the ship all winter. By the time spring arrived, only half of those who had left England were still living. It had been a trying year to say the least. 

   As they came to shore, they were faced with a new land which they knew nothing about. Thankfully though, the local Wampanoag tribe taught them how to plant and how to survive in the new country. Through the alliance forged with their new friends, the pilgrims were able to successfully plant and grow crops. The first Thanksgiving resulted as a celebration of their first harvest in the new land. 

   Similarly, for most, this has been a difficult year. We have faced hardship and uncertainty. We have had to learn new ways of doing things. I hope that through it all, you have found ways to make and strengthen friendships, that you have learned how to survive and perhaps even thrive in a new environment, and today, whether you are gathering with many of few, I pray you have much to be grateful for. Happy Thanksgiving! I can’t wait to see you succeed. 

~K.L.W. 

P.S. For more on the first Thanksgiving, check out the info below. 

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.history.com/.amp/topics/thanksgiving/history-of-thanksgiving

Enjoy Your Flight

  Good Morning, Friends! Last week I was preparing for take off from Orlando to Charlotte. The flight attendants were going through the normal safety procedures... put your mask on before helping others, flotation device is under your seat, etc. The pilot came on and welcomed us to our flight, and then he said these words, “We hope you enjoy your flight.” I don’t know why it stuck out to me this time. I’m sure this is probably standard preflight talk. But it grabbed my attention, and my first thought was, “Who enjoys a flight?” Not that I hate flying, but it seems more like one of those things you endure, rather than enjoy. It’s the mundane, somewhat annoying thing you have to do to get to where to where you want to be. 

  But then again, if you can’t find joy in the journey, you won’t find joy when you arrive either. Ever heard that saying? So here’s my thought. I could choose to enjoy my flight, right? I could make a conscious decision that rather than just endure my flight as a necessary evil, I could enjoy my flight, savor the chance to read or to look out the window, to see the world from new heights. I could take time to get to know someone near me or talk to my husband. I could find ways to enjoy the flight, just like we can find ways to enjoy the journey towards out goals and dreams. 

  It’s so easy to get caught up in, "I’ll be happy when..." But how about choosing joy now, whether you’re sitting on the beach or doing the dishes for the tenth time today. So many of us are just enduring our lives thinking we will enjoy them when we arrive at our preferred destination. Don’t let life just pass you by. Your life is not just the mountain tops, it’s in the climb, the day in, day out struggle to get to the summit. We can change how we view the mundane, and let me tell you, that makes the journey a whole lot better. Enjoy your flight. 

I can’t wait to see you succeed.

~K.L.W. 

Can I Recycle That?

   Hi Friends! I was thinking today about the concept of something wasted verses something recycled. When we think of waste we think of something as being lost, ruined, useless, not worth keeping, or unprofitable. When we recycle something, we find new value in it. We create something new from it. We give it a new purpose, and we use it again. 

  Have you ever heard the phrase that you can either lose or you can learn? Our life experiences and choices are a lot like those two receptacles in the picture. When you go through a negative experience or make a poor choice, you can toss it out as a waste, or you can choose to recycle it. How you use your failures makes a world of difference in how quickly you learn to succeed. Thomas Watson Jr., second president for IBM said, “If you want to increase your success rate, double your failure rate.”

  When you recycle your failures you learn from them, see how you can benefit and adjust your course from them, and possibly even use them again in a more profitable way. (For example, using your loss to help someone else avoid making the same mistake.) 

  Learning to recycle your failures is one of the most valuable skills you can develop on your road to success. Don’t throw out experiences you could gain from. Ask yourself instead, “What can I learn from this? And how can I use this experience for my good and the good of others?” When you learn to recycle your failures, you will propel yourself forward towards your dreams and goals. Stop wasting what you have. Recycle instead! I can’t wait to see you succeed! 

~K.L.W.

Want vs. Need Part 2

     A popular song right now has the lyrics, "I should probably go to bed."  (Dan + Shay, "I Should Probably Go To Bed") Ever thought this to yourself?  I know; me too.  But then we proceed to scroll social media, watch TV, or stay up eating junk for another hour... or two... or four... no judgement here.  The thing is, most of us know what we need... more sleep, a less hectic schedule, more fresh air, a healthier meal, etc..  But most of the time we let our wants lead us instead of our needs.  

    We need a salad, but we want to eat a bag of chips.  We need to get eight hours of sleep, but we want to binge watch our favorite show...again.  There is a constant battle back and forth between those things.  The real magic happens when we align what we want and what we need; when we learn that deep down, what we want is to stop feeling tired and sluggish all the time, so therefore, what we want is to go to bed on time.  

    The more we start to see our habits in line with who we want to become, the easier it becomes to choose to do the things we need to do, because they become the things we want to do.  James Clear says it this way, "Every action you take is a vote for the type of person you want to become." (Atomic Habits) When you can really get this concept down in your heart, then it's no longer difficult to decided what to do.  You know who you are becoming, and so you make your choices in line with that identity.  ie...I am a healthy person (So you choose the salad).

    This is not the first time I've talked about this war between want vs. need, and in fact, you can check out my previous writing on it here. What's important though, is that we learn to recognize this battle and start to reconcile our thoughts to make our wants and needs the same things.  For example, I tried for a long time to cut sugar out of my diet, but it was so hard to resist because I wanted to eat candy or dessert.  But when I started noticing how terrible sugar makes me feel, I stopped wanting to eat it, and now, I rarely reach for the donut or cupcake, because I know sugar is not what I need, and it's also not how I want to feel.  I've aligned those two thoughts and created better habits for myself.  

    Where in your life do you need to start matching up your wants and needs so they are no longer in conflict but can work together to help you with becoming the person you desire to be?  Start today to find the wants which can fuel your needs, and build your habits around them.  You will discover renewed energy to pursue your goals and create better habits when you make what you need the same as what you want.  And yes, we probably all should go to bed.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.