Keeping in Step

     Hello Friends! Have you heard the old adage, "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step." While that piece of sage advice may be true, what it fails to mention is, the journey of a thousand miles does not end after that single step. It requires taking that step, and then another, and another, and another, and another. 

    You see, we are all on journeys. Maybe it's a health journey, a relationship journey, a growth journey, a parenting journey, or a career journey. And even after we take the steps to get started, if we want to succeed and ultimately reach the destination, it demands that we put in the necessary footwork to get there. 

    Too often we think when we begin on a new endeavor that we can just take that first giant leap, and suddenly arrive where we wanted to be. But the truth is, anything worthwhile will require us to put in time and effort, over, and over, and over again. You can't just tell your spouse you love them once and assume that will carry forward for a lifetime. You must demonstrate it day in and day out if you want a relationship to remain strong. You can't eat one salad and lose fifty pounds and be healthy forever. You have to put nutritious food in day after day and move your body consistently to achieve results. 

    Our society has tricked us into believing in fast food results for everything. We think overnight success is the norm, and we get frustrated and discouraged when results elude us after one or two steps. But if we begin the journey with the vision of it being a journey, we will not grow weary and give up after the first five steps, or ten steps, or twenty. We will know that the thousand-mile journey requires 10,000 hours and even more steps. We will know that the joy is in the journey AND in the destination, and so we will press forward, one baby step at a time. 

    Today, no matter what you are journeying toward, and whether you have just taken the first step, or if you have been traveling for some time, keep the thousand-mile journey in your mind. Life is an adventure made up of a lot of steps. Don't give up. Keep moving in the direction of your dreams, day, after day, after day. I can't wait to see you succeed!

Galatians 6:9 - Let us not become weary in doing good, 

for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. 

~K.L.W.

106 Things

   Hi Friends! I hope you got a chance to watch my video this week and have been taking some time to think about the things you would like to accomplish in your life. You see, too often we get caught up in the mundane and forget to challenge ourselves, to look for excitement, and to make the most of this beautiful life we've been given. I'm not a country music fan, (I know, I know, please don't unfriend me), but I want to remind you of a popular country song, "Live Like You Were Dying" by Tim McGraw. 

    The truth is, a lot of us forget that we don't have to be dying to live to the fullest. We can seize every moment and every day, because in reality, we all will die someday, and none of us knows when that day is. So why not live each day like it's our last? Today, I want to challenge you to do two things. The first, is to write out what you would do if today were your last day on earth. Really take some time to sit with this idea and ask yourself what you care the most about. Chances are, many of the things you would want to do on your last day on earth are things you can do right here and now. Things like time with friends and family, maybe taking a trip, maybe just going for a walk and savoring the moment. We would all be much more satisfied with our lives if we invested our daily time and energy into the things we care most about, those "last day of our lives" items. 

    The second thing I want to challenge you with today is to make yourself a Life List. My list started as 103 things back in 2016, and it has grown to 106. This is a list of big and little accomplishments. These are things to get excited about, to work toward, and to grow and stretch for. I wrote about my list in 104 Things. And today, I want to give you some updates, and maybe some ideas for things you can put on your list. 

     Here's a few things I haven't accomplished yet, but I am working towards:  Speak fluent Spanish, Take my son to Egypt, Ride an Elephant, Swim with Sharks, Have a star named after me, Visit St. Judes and give books to the kids, Take a pilgrimage to Jerusalem, Live abroad for a year.

    And here's the ones I have accomplished. (Some pictures included). You'll just have to trust me on the ones I don't have pictures of. 

    Publish a Book - April 2019 (I have three published books, and more coming soon!)

    Get some Tattoos - July 2019 (I have five now)

 

    Ride a camel - July 2019

    Own a hot tub - October 2020

    Make good cookies - December 2017

    Successfully grow a plant - June 2020

    Enjoy our wedding and reception - October 2016

(Photo credit: Yacqueline Hoefler)

(Photo Credit: Barns and Bows Photography)

    Start a blog - April 2018 (Here we are 4 years later!) 

    Ride the banana boat - August 2017

    Help out at a soup kitchen - September 2017

    Try sound bathing - June 2020 (I highly recommend checking this out. I went to Center for Sound Therapy)

    Take Aden to Disney - January 2019

    And many more to come! I hope my list inspires you to make a list for your own life of big and small things. Things for others and things for yourself. Big dreams and little goals. Put them down. And then start checking them off. It's a beautiful life if you make it that way. I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

    

The X Factor Depends on Why

   Hi Friends! I hope you are diving into the new year and making progress on your goals. However, if you are flagging, studies show you aren't alone. According to an article on inc.com, 80% of people have given up on their goals by the second week of February. Ouch. That's not a great statistic. So how can you make sure you stay in the 20% who stick it out? Well, for starters, you need motivation. But not just any motivation. 

    There are several types of motivation, and each one will only take you so far. Perhaps you've heard of external motivation. Using some sort of a reward to motivate yourself, such as a trip, a new pair of jeans, or a day out with friends can help you to stick to your goals short-term, but ultimately, extrinsic motivation will not get you through the long haul. You might be all about the "revenge-body," but when the rubber hits the road, something outside yourself probably won't be enough to keep you moving, even if it is the stunned face of your ex-lover. 

    The second type of motivation you may have heard of is internal or intrinsic motivation. This will take you a little farther, because it comes from within yourself. It is usually based on a strong feeling, and this can propel you to stick with it longer. The problem is, we all only have so much will power, and if you are solely relying on your internal motivation to keep you going, there will come a point where that will peter out. You will be too tired, get decision fatigue, and probably quit somewhere along the way. 

    So if external motivation works for the short-term, and internal motivation won't carry us through the toughest days, what is the answer to building unstoppable motivation? The key is something called "Why." Having a why melds the external and the internal. A why is connected to your very core, your passion, your desires, what you care most about, and this will drive you forward. But a why is also connected extrinsically, because your why should be service based. Therefore, not only is your passion and purpose on the line, you have other people at stake too. 

    Finding your why truly gives you the x factor you need to move forward and stick to your goals even when the going gets tough. Compounding your goals by the power of why will bring you exponential results, because you are motivated by your deepest purpose, values, and desires, and you are driven forward by the understanding that others depend on you to succeed. If you aren't sure what your why is or how to discover it, you can check out the video I made for you this week. You can be in the 20% who stays on the path to victory. 2022 is the time to conquer your goals and dreams, and I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K. L. W. 

Photo courtesy of Christopher Hoefler

A Fresh Take on the New Year

   Hello Friends! Welcome to 2022! I hope you are off to a good start. I know these first few days have been so exciting for me, and I believe the best is yet to come. 

  Recently I heard someone talking about the fact that she does not like the term "New Year, New You." Because this implies there was something wrong with you before, and she doesn't like that people feel they have to change themselves when the new year starts. And while I can sympathize with that idea, and I do think you should love and appreciate yourself no matter where you are at on your journey, I actually love the "New Year New You" movement, and here's why. 

  I believe that each and every one of us is on our own unique journey, and we are in the process of growing. There are always areas we can be better in, new ways we can stretch ourselves, and new milestones to reach for. But often times, we get caught up in the daily grind, slugging it out, trying to get ahead. We get bogged down with our habits and routines, or we get bored with where we are at. But the new year gives us an opportunity to change all that. 

  The new year offers us an opportunity to see ourselves with fresh eyes again. It's a chance to reset, refresh, build new habits, change directions, or simply see your day to day with a new sense of wonder and excitement. No, you won't be a brand new, perfect you when the clock strikes midnight on December 31st, but you do have the opportunity to turn the page, take a deep breath, and dive into a new adventure. 

  Realistically, every day and every moment, we have the ability to reset, but we don't often take advantage of it. That's why the new year is the perfect time, when the whole world is thinking about becoming fresh and new. So, whatever you are taking on this year, whether you are making some major changes, or just embracing your every day with a fresh perspective, I hope that you will take joy in the new year and in the new you you get to create every day. Happy New Year! I can't wait to see you succeed!

Proverbs 4:18

"The path of the righteous is like the morning sun, shining ever brighter till the full light of day."

~K. L. W.

Give and Receive

   

Hello Friends! I read something recently which caused me to pause and reevaluate my stance on giving. You see, giving is one of my core values. It’s something I believe very strongly in, and something I want to encourage other people to believe in. It’s my belief that the more we all give, the more we can help each other, and the better we can make the world. 

  But Brené Brown said something which made me take a step back and really question myself and my motives in giving. In her book, The Gifts of Imperfection, she delivers a truth which stopped me in my tracks. It goes like this, “Until we can receive with an open heart, we are never really giving with an open heart. When we attach judgement to receiving help, we knowingly or unknowingly attach judgement to giving help.” 

  Wow! I never thought of it like that. But when I read it, I knew she was right. I had been giving from this somehow self-righteous point of view. I always wanted to be the one giving help, never the one asking for help. It’s as if I felt it was a shame to be in need, and by thinking this, I was subconsciously shaming those I was giving to. 

  Perhaps you, like me, need to become a better giver by learning to become a better receiver. I had to let go of my pride, humble myself enough to ask for and receive help when I needed it, and by doing this, let go of my unconscious prejudice against those I was giving to. 

  In order to make the world a better place, we all need to become better givers of our time, talents, and resources, but we also need to become better receivers, accepting help when we need it, and not looking down on ourselves or on others for being the one in a position of need. None of us are islands. We all need help, and the sooner we learn to accept what we need from others without shame or judgement, the sooner we can give wholeheartedly without shaming or judging those we give to. 

  Today, make the commitment to better those around you by being a giver. But do it with the humility and recognition that you are also in need. Get good at offering someone a hand up, but also, reach out and accept the hand that’s being offered to you. Become a judgement free giver and receiver. We will all be better off for it. I can’t wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.

Holiday Dilemmas

   Hello Friends, and welcome, officially, to the holiday season. Earlier this week, I addressed some of the ways to keep the holiday season from passing you by in a rush of too many events with too many people and too many things to do. But today, I want to talk about the dark side of the holiday season. 

  You see, for many people, the holidays might be a difficult time of year. Perhaps you are estranged from your family, and this season brings the pain of past holidays. Maybe you struggle with disordered eating, and this time of year throws your progress into question as you try to navigate holiday parties and extra office treats. Or perhaps, you are facing mental health challenges, and this season amplifies your feelings of anxiety or depression. 

  If this time of year isn’t ideal for you, I want to encourage you by first saying, you aren’t alone. And it’s ok to not be ok right now. That being said, there are some things you can do to make this time of year, if not festive, at least tolerable. 

  The first is to surround yourself with those who support you. Maybe that’s booking an extra few sessions with your therapist on days or weeks you know will be touchy. Maybe that’s making arrangements with a friend who knows your story and will call to check in on you periodically. Find you tribe of supporters and make sure they know you might need them a little extra right now. 

  Secondly, do the holidays on your terms. You don’t have to say yes to every event you’re invited to, and you don’t have to feel guilty for protecting your peace of mind. Be willing to say no and only commit to those things you can. Maybe that means you don’t go to your aunt’s party where you know there will be people you are uncomfortable with. Or you stay home from the office gift exchange because you want to avoid the temptation to break your sobriety. Caring for yourself and your values is one of the most important gifts you can give this season. 

  Lastly, find things that do give you joy and help you celebrate, even if they aren’t what everyone else is doing. Maybe that’s making a hot chocolate and taking a peaceful drive to see the local holiday lights. Maybe it’s just sitting with your significant other by the tree. Perhaps it’s volunteering behind the scenes at a local food bank or shelter. Find the things that make you want to celebrate and that bring you light this season. 

  Holidays can be tricky, but no matter where you are mentally and emotionally, there is opportunity to find joy and meaning this time of year. Make a conscious choice to celebrate what’s important to you, and let go of what isn’t. You don’t have to live up to anyone else’s holiday expectations. Give yourself the gift of really making this the most wonderful time of the year for you. I can’t wait to see you succeed! 

~K.L.W. 

Thankfullness

   Good Morning, Friends! It's the day after Thanksgiving, and I am hoping you all got the chance to eat delicious food among family and friends. And if you, like me, were so busy yesterday that you didn't get the chance to truly take time to appreciate it all, maybe take the time this morning to think back over all you have been blessed with and express your gratitude. 

  You see, gratitude isn't a once a year thing reserved for Thanksgiving day. It's a practice that will truly change our lives inside and out if we let it. Learning to live with gratitude means finding the good in every situation. It's expressing joy over what you do have, rather than being ruled by remorse for all you don't have. It's the seed of opportunity in each obstacle. It's a mindset shift that will transform our perspectives and eventually our outcomes if we take the time to put in into practice. 

  Here's what I mean. When you begin the habit of gratitude, like any other new habit, you will probably have to remind yourself to do it on a daily basis. It may even feel forced at times. But as you sit down and write down and speak out the things you are grateful for, you will begin to retrain your brain to actively look for things to be grateful for. When your brain is actively looking for good things, it tends to see, recognize, and thus celebrate the good things more often, which leads to you feeling more positive and uplifted more often. 

  This positive mood and energy will allow you to pursue more of the things you love and care about and attract people to you who have similar mindsets, thus giving you more in your life to be grateful for. Essentially, the habit of gratitude genuinely put into practice on a regular basis has the ability to cause you to feel more joyful, and actually receive more into your life to be grateful for. It's an upward spiral which can transform your life in any area. 

  Let me give you an example. Let's say you decide to practice gratitude in the area of your relationship to your spouse. You start actively looking for things they say, do, or are which you can be grateful for. As you do this, you notice more and more positive things about your spouse, which makes you feel more drawn to them, and causes you to act with more affection toward them. Your rekindled affection toward your spouse causes them to respond in kind, thus making your relationship better and giving you even more to be thankful for. 

  This positive spiral can work in any area of our lives, but we have to start with genuine gratitude for what we do have. As we practice appreciating all the good we have been blessed with, we will notice more good things, make more positive choices, and attract even more to be thankful for. Get out a notebook and start writing down what you're thankful for today. Apply gratitude to your life, and see just how much you truly do have to appreciate. I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.

Winner Takes All

   Hi Friends! I talked to my son recently about something I think we as adults could use a reminder of also. Success is not a zero-sum game. And here's what I mean by that. Someone else succeeding does not mean you have failed, nor does it mean there is no room for you to succeed. There is lots of room at the top, believe it or not. Someone else winning at their career or health or relationship or finances does not mean you can't win also. It's just a false mindset of jealousy which often tricks us into feeling as if this is the case. 

  Oftentimes when we see someone receive something we want, we feel a pang of jealousy. This can happen for a number of reasons. Sometimes it's because we feel they have received something we want or something we think we deserve. Or, it reveals our frustration with ourselves for not having put forth the effort to get what we want. Left unchecked, these feelings of anger and jealousy can create division and hatred. But if we take the time to really notice and evaluate why we feel this way, it may drive us to change our decisions. 

  Perhaps your co-worker's promotion can be a catalyst to cause you to reach for what you want at work, to pursue the raise or promotion you have been neglecting. Or maybe seeing all the weight your sister lost to become healthy can spur you to choose a healthier lifestyle also. Perhaps she will even help you by exercising with you or sharing her healthful recipes. Often those we view with contempt because of our jealousy could be our allies on the way to achieving our own desires and goals. 

  You see, unlike in a sporting competition where the winner takes all, other people's successes do not rob us of anything. It is only our comparison and jealousy which robs us of joy and often times of friendships. If we recognize that our neighbor's success does not exclude us from success and instead channel those feelings of frustration in to positive action, we will find ourselves not only moving closer to our goals but also cheering on those around us. 

  There is enough joy, enough success, enough goodness to go around. Stop comparing and start living the life you desire. In life, there isn't just one winner. Go out and work to win at your race, and while you're at it, cheer on the person in the next lane. I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Things

   Ok Friends, I have a confession to make. I hate clutter, like not just dislike it; I loathe it with a burning passion. If there is something in my house I do not want or use, it is immediately found a new place to live. My son will be the first to tell you, I do not keep papers and trinkets from school, much to his chagrin. In fact, I'm certain he has had at least one therapy appointment about this subject alone. It's not that I'm not sentimental. I have a cedar chest with a few important mementos tucked in it, but beyond that, I just cannot allow extra "trash" to clog up my mental and physical space. 

  Now, you may be thinking my stance is rather harsh and militant on this matter, and perhaps it is, but let me explain why. For a long time, I collected everything that came my way. I thought having more things made me more important or somehow made me more secure in life. But in reality, all it did was make me more stressed. You see, holding on to things we don't need is not just a physical burden on our space, it is a dangerous mindset that can imprison us if we are not aware of it. Our desire to hoard or keep extra things is a need for a security, a mindset of fear and scarcity. 

  Additionally, having excess clutter in our homes drains us mentally because it is always weighing on us. It drains us physically by taking up space and giving us more work to do to clean and maintain all the extra items and spaces we wouldn't have to otherwise. While we may think keeping all the extra items gives us security, it actually is stealing our peace. And the only way to be free is to begin to let go. Now, for some, this is easier than for others. Personally, once I learned how freeing it is to get rid of the extra stuff, I became obsessed with it, and my son is the same way. He has been known at times to help his friends "clean" their rooms, which essentially means throwing all their toys in the garbage. His friends' parents are not usually on board when this happens. 

  Unlike my son, for others, the idea of letting go of even a single item may be terrifying. Perhaps they grew up with nothing or lived through a time of poverty, and this fear-based mindset is still ruling in their lives. If you are one of these people, it may be a process. You may have to start small with giving away just one item, but I promise it will get easier the more you do it. My personal rule is, if it doesn't bring beauty and joy to my home, or if I'm not going to use it (soon), then it doesn't have a place in my home. 

  I encourage you to stop allowing excess clutter to rob you of mental and physical energy. Find ways to give away or recycle items you don't use. Not only will you feel lighter and freer without the burden of extra things, but you will get the joy of blessing someone else who may actually need the items you are storing. We are blessed to be a blessing, remember. If you have been living in scarcity and fear, begin to work on your mindset. Change how you talk and think with affirmations. Begin speaking from a mindset of "I have what I need." Do not allow yourself to be controlled by stuff, feeling as if you must cling tightly to everything that comes your way. When your fists are holding on so tightly to the things you have, your hands cannot be open to receive new and better blessings. It's time to stop living in fear and free up your mental and physical space. I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W. 

Nature

   Genesis 8:22 - As long as the earth endures, seedtime and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night will never cease. 

Photo credit to Holiday Homestead

  Hi friends! This week we’ve been talking about Growth. Growth is a function of nature, and it’s also a spiritual law. But it doesn’t just happen on its own. In fact, for anything to grow, there has to first be a seed. The seed must be planted in the right environment and nurtured if we are to expect any sort of a harvest. 

  This principle of growth applies to our lives also. If we desire to produce results in any area of our lives it’s going to require us to grow. But we have to start with a seed. Our seed is a plan to grow. In the same way that you choose which plants you will grow when starting a garden, you must choose which actions you will take if you want to grow.

  Once we’ve chosen our seed, we must nurture it to help it get to maturity and produce a harvest. This nurturing is the actual work of growth. It’s the getting up and working out, the picking up a book and reading, the follow through with our plan to grow. If we were to garden by just taking seeds and scattering them around with no further effort, we would find surprisingly little, if any results. The same is true in our lives. If we set a plan to grow but never follow through, we won’t achieve the results we want. 

  This week, get intentional about how you want to grow. Pick out those seeds and put them in the ground. Then nurture them by following through with action steps. Given time and care, your actions will blossom into a harvest of results in your life. Don’t be a haphazard gardener with your life. Make a plan and start growing. I can’t wait to see you succeed. 

~K.L.W.

Little

   Ever heard the quote, “Courage doesn’t always roar. Sometimes courage is the little voice at the end of the day that says, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’” This is perseverance. Often times when we think of persevering, we think of intensity, maybe picturing tough work outs, emotional sports wins, or legendary fights like in the movies. But it’s not always. 

  Sometimes, in fact, most times, I think, perseverance is quiet. It’s the mom who gets on her knees each night to pray when it looks like her child will never change. It’s a trauma victim who chooses to get out of bed and keep living. It’s a dad who goes to work each day to put food on the table. It’s the couple who never stops hoping and believing for that baby. 

  Often the earth shaking victories only happen after moment upon moment of quiet decisions to simply push on. Perseverance doesn’t have to be big, loud, or obvious. The Scripture says it like this, stand your ground, and having done all, stand. (Ephesians 6:13) It’s putting your stake in the ground, refusing to quit, taking the step no matter how small it seems. 

  This week, don’t worry if you aren’t shouting success from the rooftops. You can only get to the mountaintop by climbing the mountain. Dig in, take the step, persevere. I can’t wait to see you succeed. 

~K.L.W.