Relationships 2.0

  Hello, Friends! I gave you some relationship advice a few days ago, but I have a few more things I thought I would share. After all, relationships are always growing and developing, and it helps to have some knowledge to know how to keep your relationship strong as you both grow and change.

 

1.  Communication
     Communication is so important to a thriving relationship. This means everything from making sure you know which one of you is taking the garbage out to the curb to whether or not you should make that major purchase to how you are feeling emotionally. It's a vast range from the little things to the really big and everything in between. Often, in our most vital relationships, we fail to discuss the little things, and over time these add up to become major stressors. For example, if you haven't talked about which bills need paid this week, and therefore one of you is trying to save for the rent and the other is spending money freely, there is going to be an issue. Likewise, if you don't communicate about which of you is going to pick up the kids from school, and they get left there, there's going to be an issue. These may seem like no brainers, but so much of a relationship comes down to the day in and day out details, and by making sure you are on the same page with these things, you can keep your relationship running smoothly. Too often we assume, and we get angry with one another over expectations we haven't clearly communicated.

      Additionally, take time regularly to ask your partner how they are feeling, about work, about your relationship, about everything. In fact, a monthly and weekly check-in is a useful habit. And when you do ask, listen. Let your spouse talk without criticizing or arguing about the response you get. This type of response can shut down future communications. So ask how they're doing, and then listen, and when they are done, brainstorm some ideas for making things better along with them. Remember, you are a team. Keep this in perspective, and make sure you both know what the plays are so that you can win at your day to day and in the long run.

2.  Respect each other
      The need for respect in relationships goes without saying, but I want to point out that sometimes respect is not demonstrated on a major scale. Sometimes it's in the little things, like how you talk to your friends about your spouse or whether or not you listen to the little things they ask you to do or not do. Let me give you an example. My husband is a very patient person, and he also is a very easy going person. He rarely ever makes any requests of me, and so when he does, I go out of my way to try to accommodate him. Now, my husband has a habit of leaving the laundry basket downstairs when he goes down to put a load in the wash. As a result of this, there is no basket upstairs to put dirty clothes in. My solution to this was to throw the dirty clothes in a pile where the laundry basket normally goes so that when the basket comes back up, everything is right there. Seems logical, right? I certainly thought so. Until one day, my husband let me know that it really bothered him when people threw the clothes on the floor where the laundry basket should go. I don't know why this would bother him, but what I do know is that I stopped doing it. Was this a huge issue? Nope. Does it really matter to me? Nope. But for the value of our relationship, and to show my respect and love for my spouse, I no longer throw the clothes where the basket goes. I either take them to the other basket, or I go get the basket from downstairs. A simple gesture, yes, but many times these little issues go unnoticed, building up until they end up turning into World War III in relationships. Take the time to listen to your spouse and be respectful of his or her wishes. It will go a long way towards creating peace and harmony in your home and showing them you care.

    This is only a few of the things that can help you have a healthy and happy marriage or relationship, but they are two of the most crucial. Communicating and respecting your spouse's wishes, even if they seem silly, can help you to avoid major conflicts over unspoken frustrations or expectations. As in every other area of our lives, little changes yield big results. Show your spouse some love through communication and respect and see how it brightens your relationship. I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.L.W.

Mountain Climbing

  If you're anything like me, you might have a tendency to imagine life as a series of peaks and valleys.  It seems like things are either good or bad.  And they go in cycles.  But what we often forget is that life is more like a steady uphill climb with plateaus now and then.  For the most part we spend our adult life alternating between climbing, sliding, or resting.  Here's what I mean by the three phases.

Climbing:  This one is pretty straight forward.  Most of us have dreams and goals in different areas of our lives which we are in essence "climbing" towards.  It might be a promotion at our job, a certain level of fitness, or a new degree.  When we are actively working towards those things, we are climbing.  It might be difficult and tiring, but it's worth the climb, because we know our results lie at the top.

Plateau:  Then we come to the plateau.  These are times when we have reached one of our goals, and we are able to stop pushing so hard, sit back, relax and enjoy the view from where we are.  Some would call this a peak, but I have to point out, that eventually, we begin to become discontented with just sitting, and we realize there is more climbing to be done.  I would argue that we never quite reach the peak in life, because there is always another level we can go to.  A plateau can be such a nice place, for a period of time, but eventually what happens is, we feel the call to begin climbing towards a new goal.  This can be hard to do when we are at a place of contentment just sitting.  Getting back into gear and beginning the work again can be a tough thing to do, and sometimes what we choose to do instead is to slide.

Sliding:  Sliding is anytime we should be moving forward, but we don't make the effort.  If you follow the logic that we are always on an upward facing slope, then it would make sense that if you are not on a plateau, and if you are not climbing, then you will begin sliding back down.  Sliding is one of the most dangerous places to be, because not only are you not moving forward, you are losing progress, and you are gaining momentum in the wrong direction.  Reversing a slide requires serious commitment, dedication, and effort, but it can be done.

  I hope that no matter what place you find yourself in today, you know you can begin to move forward whenever you choose.  If you have been sliding for some time, now is the moment to dig in your heels and start to the task of moving forward and upward again.  If you have been resting on a plateau for some time, and you are starting to feel the call to move on, do not ignore it.  Pick up your gear and start climbing to the next level.  And if you find yourself currently in the climb, don't give up.  Keep pressing on, because the next plateau is up there, and the views from that height are even more spectacular than the last.  I'm out here on this mountain with you, and I can't wait to see you reach the next level!

~K.W.  

Press Reset

  Let's talk about one of my favorite things:  new beginnings, fresh starts, a new day, week, month, or year.  I love that feeling of looking at a new chapter of life and seeing all the possibilities.  It's like having a brand new notebook with all the pages blank to begin writing whatever you want on it.  There is something so energizing about a new phase of life, and since we are approaching a new month, I want to talk to you about some of the ways you can capitalize on this upcoming month and make the most of the next 30 days.
  First, make yourself some time this week to sit down and think about your top five things you want to accomplish next month.  It may be tempting to write down a list of thirty things you want to tackle, but it's important here to really focus in on just the top five.  Often times if we focus on too many things we find our time and energy divided too many ways, and we end up accomplishing nothing.  Channel your time and energy into just a few specific goals this month, and you will find that you progress far more quickly when you are focused.
  Secondly, once you've decide on your top five, write them down and make sure they are specific.  For example, "Read 20 minutes daily"  or "Clean and declutter one room per week."  You want these goals to be measureable so that you can track your progress.  You won't know if you've succeeded at the end of the month if you have no way of measuring what you've done.
  Third, get a way to track you progress daily.  There are apps you can download to keep track of your goals and habits if you like to do things electronically, or you can make a daily list to check off and keep it on your fridge or some place visible.  Personally I like the good old pen and paper list that I can physically put check marks on each day.  This gives me a little sense of immediate gratification when I complete a task.  Additionally, knowing how many days you've accomplished your goal helps you to know what kind of progress you're making, and gives you a number to beat for next month.  After all, you only need to compete against yourself, remember?  (Winner Takes All)
  Now, all that's left is to get to work.  Keep your goals in front of you daily so you don't forget or get off track.  Stay dedicated.  Remember, consistency is key here.  Really commit to your five things and stick with them each day.  Don't let yourself slack off.  And if you do fall off the wagon for a few days, don't get discouraged.  Get back up and keep going.  25 days of success are still better than none!
  Take some time today and set your goals for next month and get prepared to move forward.  I'm excited for you to start making progress!  Here's to a new month!

~K.W.

How to Love Your Spouse 1.0

  Well, it's here again folks. The time of year when I have to start bundling up to go to bed has arrived.  And for those of you that are thinking I've lost my sanity because it was 90 degrees out today, and there is no way anyone should be bundling up in those temperatures, let me explain.  Every year about this time, my husband says my least favorite words, "I think I'm going to put the air conditioner in today."  Now, I know this would have most of you rejoicing, but not so for me. You see, I am a person who does not enjoy cold air being blown on me when I'm trying to sleep, which means that when the air conditioner comes out, I get out my sweatshirts and start layering up.  But here's the thing.  I don't mind going through this extra hassle, because I know that my husband will not sleep at all if he is stifling hot, and I care deeply about making sure my husband is comfortable.  I value our relationship, and therefore I'm willing to make a few compromises to make sure it stays good, and to be honest, I think we have a pretty great marriage.  So, I thought tonight I'd share a few things with you that make our relationship work so well.
  First of all, you do not have to be alike to have a good relationship.  In fact, my husband and I are about as opposite as any two people can get.  We do not agree on politics, religion, music, tidiness, or how many dogs is reasonable to have in a 700 square foot apartment.  But, you know what?  These things have not stopped us from being happy or from living in harmony, so here's a few ideas that can maybe give your relationship a kick start if you are needing it, or just help it to keep running smoothly if you're already cruising along.

1.  Appreciate Often
    What I mean by this is verbally telling your spouse you appreciate them, and telling them specifically why.  I also find that one of the best ways to do this is to praise your significant other in public.  After all, who doesn't like to hear someone say good things about them to other people?  Giving your partner specific compliments and words of gratitude often will go a long way towards keeping you both happy.  Another way in which I share kind words with my husband is through a notebook.  Both my husband and my son have their own notebooks, and every so often I take the time to write them each a note of encouragement, and then I leave those notes on the table for them to find.  There are so many creative ways for you to express your love and appreciation, but make sure that you do this often.  You will reap a return of a strengthened relationship, and you will fill your spouse with confidence which will only make your interactions better.

2.  Let Things Go
    Too often I think we have a tendency to hold onto little irritations and make them a bigger deal than they really need to be.  Now, I am the queen of allowing little things to set me off if I'm tired or hungry, but I have really been working on this for the last few years, and I think I've gotten better.  It would do us and our partners all a lot of good to realize that once a grievance or irritation has happened, unless there is some difficulty which resulted that still needs addressed, there is no reason to cause a fuss or even bring up your irritation at all.  Just let it go.

3.  Make Time for Each Other
    Now, my husband and I have opposite work schedules, which means we almost never get a night off together, but this doesn't mean we don't make time to spend with one another.  It might be a late night meal or staying up to watch a few episodes on Netflix.  Some mornings we squeeze in a walk at the park or run errands together.  If you're like us and have a pretty hectic life which can send you scattering in all directions each week, it's vital for the health of your relationship that you carve out minutes specifically for each other.  Just as you invest a lot of time in someone when you first start dating in order to get that relationship off to a good start, you must be willing to continue to invest in one another to keep your relationship moving smoothly.

4.  Give
    Lastly, know that in a good relationship, it's not about what you can take from it, but what you can pour into it.  Now, don't be confused.  This does not mean it's ok to allow someone to take advantage of you and never give into the relationship and expect you to do it all.  What this means is that in a good relationship, both parties are focused on what they can give to the other person, not what they can take from them, and this is what makes the relationship strong.  When each person knows that the other has his or her best interest at heart, they will each continually want to give more into the relationship out of an expression of love and gratitude towards their partner, and this creates a cycle of giving.  To truly do this well requires you to know that needs and desires of your spouse and then go out of your way to meet them.  My husband is excellent at this, and it makes me fall in love with him all over again each time he does something sweet, like remembering to buy me a Diet Coke to go with my McDonalds.  A small thing?  Yes, but he knows it will make me happy, and so he does it.  Pouring into your significant other does not always have to be an elaborate gesture or major sacrifice.  Most of the time it's just small actions taken daily to show them you care.

  I'm not an expert at marriage, and I certainly don't claim to know everything, but what I can tell you is that my husband and I have been together for 6 years, and we are still very happy, and our relationship gets better with each passing day, and that my friends, is something worth celebrating.  I hope that some of these tips will help you and your loved one today to build a better relationship.  Until next time!

~K.W.

Feeling a little Blah...

  Ever have one of those days or weeks, or even months where you just feel like you're in a funk?  Where you just wake up and feel off?  You can't seem to gather your emotional energy to deal with things like you normally would?  I can tell you that I definitely go through times like these, and what I want to tell you is that, when this happens, you don't have to let it control you.  What I mean by that is, there are some steps you can take to emotionally bolster yourself to get through a rough patch and come out on the other side without losing all your progress.

Dealing with a Funk:

1.  Realize that this is normal, and it's only temporary.
     I think as human beings we have a tendency to worry ourselves over things that often times will never even come to pass.  We waste mental energy on worrying about imaginary scenarios, and this slows us down and drains us, which keeps us from accomplishing what we should be doing.  If you wake up in a funk one day, you need to first and foremost remind yourself that this is not permanent.  There is no need to panic.  Even the most successful people find themselves in a rut from time to time.  The difference though is that the successful people have figured out how to not lose momentum and get themselves through a rut and out onto the other side.

2.  Slow down, but don't quit.
     You know that quote, "If you're going through Hell, don't stop moving?"  Well that same principle applies here.  When you wake up in a rut you may feel like pulling the blankets over your head and doing nothing but wallowing... do it.. but only for a short time.  The key here is to give yourself some slack to slow down for a bit, but don't quit what you're doing.  If you lose all your momentum you will only end up stuck for a longer period of time, and it will take you longer to get back on your feet.  When I am in a rut, I give myself permission to take nap or read a book, or just lay around, but I make sure that I intersperse my down time with things that need done.  So, I will read a book for a while, then muster some energy and go do the dishes.  After the dishes if I still feel crummy, I might curl up on the couch again, but I make sure to set myself a time limit of down time so that I can still accomplish what needs done.  During your down days, it's ok to cut your activities down to the bare minimum for a day or two.  Just don't completely shut down.  This will only make you feel worse because you will not be accomplishing anything which will cause you to feel badly about yourself and perpetuate the mental funk you are in.

3.  Watch your intake
     If you are in a funk, it is very important to watch your intake.  This means on multiple different fronts.  The most important one being your mind.  If you are feeling down, it may be tempting to listen to songs or watch shows that will validate or encourage what you're feeling.  Don't do it!  Listen to podcasts, audios, music, and watch shows which are uplifting, that make you laugh, and that do not perpetuate your down mood.  After all, garbage in... garbage out.  Secondarily, a lot of how we feel is linked to what we eat.  If you have been feeling crummy for a while, it may mean your body is trying to tell you something.  Make a point to drink plenty of water today and try cutting out some of the sugary things you are eating.  Your body might just need a healthy reset.  Try eating some protein and veggies and avoiding starches and sugars for a day.  You might be surprised at how much a few simple tweaks to your diet can make you feel so much better.

  Ultimately, if you aren't feeling your best emotionally today, relax.  It's ok.  We all go through it.  Give yourself a break and a little self care.  And if this continues for longer than a week or you feel something is really wrong, don't be a afraid to seek professional help.  That's what it's there for.  Wherever you find yourself today, know that you don't have to stay stuck, and there's a great future ahead for you if you're willing to step into it.  I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.  

When Things Aren't Good

  Ok, so I'm going to be honest with you guys.  Sometimes our prayers don't get answered the way we want.  In fact, sometimes it seems like the opposite of what you prayed for happens.  But here's the thing.  I believe when this happens and things don't go the way we wanted or hoped or begged God for, we have two choices.  We can choose to say, "Ok, here is the hand I've been dealt.  I believe God is good, and I believe I can do all things through His strength, so I can handle this, and I can use it to bring about good in my life and the lives of others."  Or, we can get angry, feel sad, and blame God, give up on His love, doubt His goodness.  Maybe that's the place where you're at today.  And if you are, it's ok.  Believe me, I've been there.  And you know what?  God is big enough and good enough to love you even when you don't love Him or trust Him.  In fact, the Bible says He chose to love us when we were still ignorant to Him and doing our own thing.  (1 John 4:19)
  When I was 16 my dad had a conversation with me which I will always remember.  I was going through some very tough times.  I had been rejected by a lot of people...all of them people who claimed they loved God and wanted what was "best" for me, but their actions were not of God and were not love.  As I struggled and wrestled with all the turmoil inside me, I sat down one day on a porch swing with my dad and I said, "I don't think I even believe in God anymore."  I was feeling so much hurt and pain, and had experienced so much rejection at the hands of "good Christian people" that I was questioning God's goodness and even His very existence.  My dad, rather than being riled or angry about these words simply said, "I believe God is big enough to show you He is real and He loves you, even if you don't believe in Him right now.  He will always bring you back."  My dad's quiet confidence and rock solid faith pulled at something in my heart that day.  It was a reminder that life may not always be fair.  People may not always be kind.  But God is so much bigger than all that.  He is able to work in the very worst of circumstances if we let Him.  He will not force us to choose Him, and He will continue to love us even when we don't.  If you're still running today, still questioning, still hurting, let me just tell you that you are loved, that you have value, and that your life was meant for so much more than hurt, anger and sadness.  You were made to shine.  Give God a chance to work on your brokenness.  You don't have to clean up your life before you reach out to Him.  He loves you right where you are at.
  I can share with you that God did find me, and it wasn't all smooth sailing from there, but having God as my Rock had enabled me to face every challenge I've encountered since then because I had a solid foundation.  And you know what?  I've been able to use those hurtful experiences from my past to form the very basis of who I am today.  I am someone who loves, accepts, and keeps judgement out of my religion.  I believe if God can love you wherever you're at, than I can too, and since I don't have it all together, I don't expect you to either.  I love open and honest conversations with people from all walks of life, and I believe if it wasn't for those things I went through I might not have become this person.  
  We don't always know the reason for our pain, and if you are questioning God right now, just know that He is big enough to handle it.  He can reveal Himself to you in ways you never imagined possible.  Keep searching for Him, and you will find Him.  (Jeremiah 29:11-14)  I'm praying for you; I love you, and I can't wait to see you overcome your obstacles and make this the best life ever.

~K.W.

Claiming What's Yours

  I'm going to write about something that's deeply spiritual today, so if you aren't a God follower, feel free to use the grocery store approach.  Take what you need from this post and leave the rest on the shelf.  And please know that no matter what religious beliefs you hold, I still love you and support you, and I am ok with agreeing to disagree if we don't share the same religion.  But today I do want to share with my fellow believers a revelation I had a few years ago which completely changed the way in which I read the Bible.
  When I was younger I used to read the book of Psalms and get a little discouraged.  Here's the reason why.  David writes a lot of Psalms talking about all the amazing things God will do for the righteous... protect them, bless them, lift them up, give them long life, children, and joy.  But I used to feel a bit defeated as I read, because if you are familiar with the Bible, we are told that "There is none righteous, no, not one."  (Romans 3:10)  I used to think, "Wow, if I could only be good enough then these could apply to me."  But, as I'm sure you all know, it's impossible for any of us to be perfect.  So, I was constantly feeling defeated when I read my Bible.
  Then one day God brought me to a revelation.  I was reading in 1 Corinthians, and here is the verse I read.  "God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God."  (1 Corinthians 5:21) Now, I had read this verse plenty of times, and even memorized it as a little kid in Sunday school, but I never quite understood it until then.  God opened my eyes to the major truth hiding in this verse that day.  Did you catch it?  "we...become the righteousness of God."  Meaning, if you have accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, you are considered RIGHTEOUS by God!  You don't have to do another thing to earn this status.  Jesus already took care of the payment.  All you have to do is claim the free gift He offers.  We cannot do a single thing to earn God's love or make Him care more about us.   All those promises about the "righteous"  were already mine to keep and yours too if you believe in Jesus.  I just didn't know it before then.  What a huge weight lifted, and an incredible mindset shift when I was reading as I discovered I could claim all of the good things promised to the "righteous," because even though in and of myself I could never be righteous, this privilege had already been granted me and every other believer through Christ's redemption on the cross.
  Understanding that God considers me righteous because of Christ's gift gave me knew excitement and incite when reading God's promises.  I am worthy of all God's blessings and promises, not because of any action of mine, but because He has made me righteous through His sacrifice, and you can claim these blessings too if you have accepted Jesus Christ's sacrifice on the cross as payment for your sin.  I am hoping that there are a few of you out there who really needed your eyes opened to this today, and who will be set free by realizing, you are already righteous in Christ.  Stop putting all the pressure on yourself.  You are a child of God now, and you can claim all the benefits of being His child.
  Additionally, if you want to learn more about this idea, there is a great book by Joseph Prince called Unmerited Favor, which opened my eyes to so much more of this concept.  I hope that you know you are worthy today, and that if you haven't accepted Christ as your Savior, this free gift is yours for the taking.  You need only to believe that Christ died on the cross to take the punishment for your sins, and if you accept His free gift, pray and ask Him to come into your life as your Lord and Savior.  You can then begin to claim these amazing promises of God on your life also. You don't have to do a single thing to earn this status.  Simply accept it as a gift and begin to live your life from a place of gratitude and grace each day because you are deeply loved and completely forgiven.  
  If you have more questions about this, feel free to reach out to me on Facebook Messenger or to leave a comment on this post.  (They all get emailed to me.) There is nothing I love more than sharing truth with people and getting to be an encouragement in other's lives.  As always, I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.

Winner Takes All

  How many of you out there would consider yourselves to be competitive people?  Maybe half of you?  But I want to ask you to consider competition on another level.  How often do you compare yourself to the people around you, your co-workers, your family, friends, or social media network?    Comparison is always a losing game, and here's why.  We are all in the game of life, but we did not all start at the same point; we are not all heading for the same finish line, and we do not all come equipped for the same challenges.  It would be absolutely silly for a person completing a marathon on foot to beat themselves up because someone in a car was faster than them at the 26 miles.  Yet, so many times this is the kind of pressure we put on ourselves.  We look around at others and assume because they look good on the outside or because they're farther along in their career or their 401K that they are "winning" at life, but that is not always the case.
  Maybe your life started in poverty, or abuse, or being an orphan.  You certainly did not come out of the same starting gate as someone born into wealth, privilege, or a stable household.  This means you had more ground to cover, more hurdles to jump over, and more obstacles in your path.  Do not assume that you are losing if you are not at the same place in life as someone else. 
  Similarly, even if you started from the same back grounds, it does not mean your race is the same.  You may have had a family challenge that gave you a career setback, or a financial struggle that limited your funding for college, or a health crisis that slowed you down.  Not everyone in life faces the same obstacles, and it's because we are each running our own individual races.
  In addition to all this, we are not all headed to the same finish line.  You may be purposed to be an amazing stay at home mom, wife, and friend, or you may be destined to be a career wage earner at the top of your field.  You might be somewhere in between.  None of these things is bad, but we can very easily start to feel badly about ourselves if we compare where we are to where someone else is when in reality we aren't even headed in the same direction.
  The only way that comparison is ever beneficial to us is to compare who  we were yesterday to who we were today.  You are the only one who can accurately compete with you.  Are you farther ahead than yesterday by even one step?  Great job!  Are you striving to be better tomorrow?  Fantastic!  Did you trip up today and fall behind?  It's ok.  That's the great thing about another day.  You can get back up and keep going.  Learn to compete with yourself and no one else.  This mindset will free you to cheer your friends, family, and co-workers, while not feeling sorry for yourself.  When you realize that we are all running different races, and we can all win a prize in our own race, you don't feel stressed when someone else succeeds.  Someone else's success does not take away from your opportunities for victory.  Keep your eyes on your own finish line, and don't get brought down by playing the comparison game.  I can't wait to see you win!  Cheering for you!

~K.W.

Stay Out of the Game

  I was having a conversation with my son the other day, and to understand this conversation, you need to know that my son struggles with a behavioral disorder.  He's getting better, but he still has difficult days, and one of the things that tends to send him over the edge is when people around him start getting rowdy.  To any one else it might seem like a normal wrestling match or game of football, but for him, once the rough play gets started, it's almost impossible to get him to stop, and unlike most kids who will only play to a certain degree of roughness, he will continually escalate his actions until someone gets hurt.
  Knowing this, I was having a discussion with him about how he should choose to not even engage in these activities so that he doesn't get himself into trouble.  He felt (as any of us would) that it wasn't fair that he can't play what the other people are playing, but I explained to him that the wise thing to do if you know you struggle in an area is to not put yourself in a situation where your struggle will be magnified.  This is a hard concept for a seven year old, and I know that it's a hard concept for most adults, but I think it's so important for us to grasp this idea.  So many of us think that if we are really tough we will learn how to face our temptations and overcome them, but the best way to win that battle is by not engaging our temptations at all.  This means, if you have to make a deliberate decision to avoid something for your own protection, you should do it.
  In the Lord's prayer, Jesus did not ask God to help us overcome temptation, but to deliver us from it.  "And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."  (Matthew 6:13)  Too many of us think we need to face our struggles head on, and in some cases this might be true, but in the case of our specific weaknesses, one of the best tactics can be avoidance.  Just as an alcoholic who has become sober might avoid the bar, or a smoker who has quit may avoid going outside with other smokers, we must learn our triggers and learn to guard our hearts and minds.
  For me, I work very hard to not let my life be ruled by fear.  Part of this means I don't watch scary movies.  If all my friends are going to see the newest thriller, I simply don't go.  I know that if I put that into my mind I will dwell on it later and create fear in my life.  Therefore, I chose to avoid things that I know will trigger or encourage the negative habit of fear.
  I also have a lot of songs that I really love, but I chose not to listen to.  Why?  Because I know they are creating an angry, sad, or bad attitude in me.  I strive to have a positive mental attitude, and this means I choose my playlist wisely and avoid songs that I know will trigger the opposite.
  Bruce Wilkinson addresses this concept in his book, The Prayer of Jabez.  He says, "Most of us face too many temptations--and therefore sin too often--because we don't ask God to lead us away from temptation."   We must learn to guard our hearts as Proverbs 4:23 says, "for everything you do flows from it."
  I really want to encourage you today to get to know yourself.  Learn your triggers, and develop the courage to avoid them.  You will see so much more success by not engaging your temptation rather than trying to fight it constantly.  Just as if you were on a diet, you would not want to keep a kitchen full of cookies and treats, so, if you want to keep yourself out of trouble, you must learn to get rid of those things that could cause you trouble.  After all, "out of sight, out of mind."  I hope you will take this advice to heart today.  Protect yourself and use wisdom.  Just because everyone else is doing it doesn't mean you can or should.  Just a little heartfelt talk from a mom.  I love you all and can't wait to see you succeed.

~K.W.

Ants are Disgusting

  I hate ants...despise them actually.  When I see them in a cupboard I want to scream.  They are so tiny, but they create such a HUGE problem.  One ant alone can lift many times its own body weight, but working in numbers they can carry off items vastly larger than themselves.  I also learned recently that colonies of ants will invade other colonies and carry off their eggs.  When the eggs hatch they force those ants to become slaves for their own colony.  Pretty crazy accomplishments for such small annoying creatures right?  But what I want to talk to you about today is that like the ant, our results can be multiplied many fold by adding to our numbers.  What do I mean by this?  I mean that in order to see success and move mountains in a specific area of your life, you have to put in effort over and over and over again.  You have to add to your trys daily.  You won't have six pack abs by working out one day, or two, or three, but give your workout 100 days of effort, and see what results you get.
  We live in a microwave world and we want everything instantaneously.  In our minds, if we have worked at something for a week and don't see big results or any results at all then we should give it up.. it's not worth the effort, but that mentality is so far from the truth.  Our results will multiply exponentially if we will put in dedicated effort repeatedly, but too often we fail to give our efforts the time and consistency they need to produce real results.
  Experts say is requires 10,000 hours to become a master at something.  What in your life can you honestly say that you have dedicated 10,000 hours to?  T.V.?  Facebook?  Instagram?  If you are trying to become an expert in one of these venues, then great... but if you're not, maybe it's time to examine where your hours are going and start putting them to work on your dreams and goals.
  I challenge you to pick one area that you want to see results in and commit to working in the area every day for one month.  You might start to see results in one month, you may not, but start with a month and build the habit.  Then, take action in that area for a year and see how much you've grown.    True change is not made in a microwave, it is like a fine French pastry that requires days and hours of tedious, concentrated effort.  But given the choice, I think we would all desire a delicately crafted, delicious pastry over some microwave mac n cheese, so lets get to work on our dreams, and never forget that our efforts multiply upon themselves, and like the tiny ant who can conquer entire colonies (or cupboards) in groups, our practice will help us to go to levels we never were able to reach when we just made an effort here and there.  Start multiplying your efforts today.   I can't wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.

Keep it Simple

  I want to tell you today about a word that really got me on track a few years ago, and it is a motto I always come back to when things start to get hectic.  The word is, "Simplify."  Have you ever just felt overwhelmed like your life was moving at a frantic pace and you just couldn't keep up?  I know I have.  When you are surrounded by chaos, you begin to feel chaotic on the inside too,  but God made it plain to me a few years ago that I really needed to simplify, and I've been using that as a guideline ever since.  If you could use a little bit of the simple life too, here's a few resources that got me started and that I still consult when I need help.
  A newer book that I just read this year by Terri Savelle Foy is called Declutter Your Way to Success.  This book really gave me some great guidelines for getting the excess junk in my house cleaned out.  I can't tell you how relieving it is to just get rid of extra material items.  If you don't use it you don't need it around weighing you down, and when your environment is streamlined your day will be streamlined also. There are excellent tips in here for ditching the clutter once and for all and doing it in a way that is not overwhelming.
  Another great book which is overflowing with tips and tricks for living Simply and naturally is The Honest Life by Jessica Alba.  This book was very inspiring for me and helped me to start figuring out what was important in my life and what I could let go of.  This book is down to earth and inspiring, and it made me feel better to know celebrities wrestle with the same dilemmas we do.
  Of course, everyone's definition of simplicity is different, and that's ok.  What we're looking for here is optimum functionality.  You just truly cannot function at your best when you have too many material things taking up your brain space.  If your to-do list is always ten miles long and you never seem to be making progress, it may be time to hit pause and figure out what needs to go.  I certainly wouldn't call myself a minimalist, but I do enjoy paring things down and freeing up space.  This doesn't just apply to material things either.  This same simplicity rule can help you eliminate activities which are taking up time and mental energy you need to use elsewhere.  Sometimes it's just elimination mindsets or bad  habits you don't need.  Every time you simplify your life, you will be rewarded with clearer thinking and a little more peace of mind.  Free yourself up to focus on the important things today by getting rid of the clutter in life, physical and mental. You'll be  glad you did.  Happy Simplifying!

~K.W.

Peace Out

  Can I just tell you something today? Nothing, and I mean NOTHING is worth losing your peace over. No material possession, no career, no person, nothing! And if you are in a situation today or considering a situation which is stealing your peace, RUN! I can promise you that no matter how good that opportunity looks or how wonderful that person seems, if you don’t have peace it is not of God.
  How do I know? Jesus promised us in John 14:27, “Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you” So, if you don’t have peace about something, you can be sure that is not a blessing from
God. It’s a trap sent by the enemy to try to pull you off course from your destiny. Don’t be fooled! The doors God open do not come with lack of peace.
  Let me share with you an experience I went through last year, and maybe it will help you to understand this further.  A year ago I was in a situation which seemed absolutely perfect from a material perspective. I had a great company, a nice boss, a good salary, and I was on track to triple my income in the next year. It seemed perfect. Only one thing was missing. My peace. I tried to shrug it off, kept telling myself that if I just got to the next level things would straighten themselves out and I’d feel better.  But month after month went by and I just felt worse. Things at home were starting to break down too. I was so stressed it made dealing with my son’s behavioral disorder almost impossible. From a rational standpoint, quitting this job was insane. I had benefits, vacation, paid healthcare, and did I mention the money?  But I knew in my heart I had stayed way too long. The moment I decided to let that job go it was like instant relief came flooding into my life. There was so much peace, and even though my income went down and I no longer had benefits, I wouldn’t trade the joy, peace, and sense of purpose I have back in my life, not to mention my family’s life. If we are willing to let go of our plans, God will always give us something better, and in the last five months since quitting that job I have had blessing after blessing pour into my life, and I know it’s because I’m where God wants me to be.
  If this message is hitting home with you today, maybe it’s time to do a little soul searching... it’s not worth it to gain the whole world and lose your peace. Wherever your headed in life, follow peace today. I can’t wait to see you succeed!

~K.W.

Stay in School

  I want to tell you today about one of the most important characteristics you need to be successful in life.  If you want to really succeed, you must develop in yourself a hunger for knowledge and a passion for personal growth.  I sincerely believe that if you create in yourself a love of learning and growing, you can find victory in any situation life throws at you.  People who have a drive to learn and get better at life daily do not get brought down by their circumstances because they know that each difficulty in their lives can be overcome with the right set of knowledge and skills.
  So what do you do if you don't love to learn?  How can you begin to build this desire for knowledge in your life?  Start with a subject you have an interest in or an area of your life that you really want to change.  You will be more engrossed in this subject so it will be easier to build a habit of learning and growth in this area.  Secondly, even if it is not "fun" at first, begin by forcing yourself to be consistent.  Set a timer if you have to for a specific amount of minutes each day to read about your subject.  (I recommend starting with 10 to 20 depending on your level of interest and dedication.)
Find a speaker you enjoy listening to, and make a weekly or daily appointment with yourself to listen to a podcast or audio.  The more you make a habit of doing this, the more natural it will become.          Also, if there's an area you need to study for work or school that you aren't interested in, try doing five to ten minutes of focused time in this area followed by time doing something you really enjoy.  Like Pavlov's dog, you are training your brain to respond positively to a subject you aren't interested in because you know that something pleasant will follow.  Also, if you're a list person like me, try making yourself a list so you can check your reading off for the day.  Lastly, take time to plan learning and growth time into your week.  I can't overstate how important this is.  If you don't make it a priority, it will never happen.  If you need some help in planning your week, check out How To Have a Good Week.
  Start learning today, and make a habit of growing yourself personally.  Don't look back in five years and find out that you are in the same place, or in a worse place.  Begin today to make changes in your life through learning and personal growth.  I can't wait to see you become all you can be.

~K.W.

It's In the Little Things

  Do you want to know how to build contentedness in your life?  Contentedness grows from fostering a grateful spirit, from learning to appreciate everything you are given.  If you don't believe me, try writing down 100 things in your life that you have to be thankful for, and see if you don't start to feel better about yourself and where you are at.  You see, we should never settle for where we are and assume we can't go further, but we should also learn to be content no matter what phase of life we're in.  (Remember that lesson on Joy?)  This may require you to shift your perspective.  (There's a blog on that too...Take a Look Around)
   I know I've told you this before, but this message is too important to only talk about once.  No material things can bring you peace and contentment.  What can bring you contentment is getting great at appreciating.  I can't even tell you how many times I have been overwhelmed by how good my life is because I took the time to look around and count my blessings.  When I start thinking of my health, a roof over my head, a cozy chair, a hot cup of coffee, a new book, I realize there are endless things in life to appreciate.  Not only things, but people too.  You will be amazed at how your relationships will transform if you apply this concept to the people in your life.  Start appreciating them.   As my mentors often say, "Treat every crumb as a feast."  Think about the people in your life who are closest to you.  Did you thank your spouse for cooking dinner tonight?  Did you tell your co-worker how much you appreciate them covering your shift at work so you could go to your kid's baseball game?  How about your cashier at Wal-mart, your server at Applebees or your teller at the bank.  What if we all learned to live with grateful spirits?  We would do much more than build contentedness in our lives.  We would start and epidemic of happiness and gratitude.  Imagine the transformation in your home, your town, and yourself if you just began to appreciate things a little more.  I challenge you to start living with a grateful spirit.  I appreciate you!  Live with contentment!

~K.W.

What Time is It?

  I want to talk to you today about seasons.  Our whole earth runs on patterns:  spring time, summer time, fall and winter.  We have seasons of planting, nurturing, and harvesting.  Our society runs on cultural seasons, Christmas, New Year's, Easter, Memorial Day, Thanksgiving, and multiple other holidays which mean the anticipation of family rituals, personal memories, or vacations from work.  Everything in life runs on a cycle of ebb and flow.  In fact, in the book of Ecclesiastes, we find that, "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under heaven."  (Ecclesiastes 3:1)
  I think sometimes though, the mistake we tend to make as human beings is to assume that whatever season we are in right now is permanent.  We allow our circumstances to own us, and we start to create patterns and cycles of negative, rather than the natural rhythm of life we were designed for.  Just because you are in a difficult season right now does not mean you will have difficulties for the rest of your life.  See things for what they are.  Realize that each challenge and setback is merely a season, and if you keep moving, you will come to the next phase.  Don't get so caught up in the storms of this moment that you forget there is another cycle to come.  You may be in winter now, but spring is just around the corner.  Be brave; hold on;  the times are changing.  Hold on the knowledge that good things are coming.
  Conversely, some people have a sense of fear when good times roll around.  They are afraid they don't deserve happiness, or that something is just waiting to destroy the good the moment they start to enjoy it.  I want to tell you, first and foremost, that nothing could be further from the truth.  God is a God of love and blessings.  He created us to "have life and have it more abundantly."  (John 10:10)  If you are in a good season of life right now, enjoy it!  Savor it.  Celebrate the moments.  Save up the memories for the next time you are facing a struggle.  "Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for it is now that God favors what you do."  (Ecclesiastes 9:7)  Don't be afraid to enjoy the good things in life you've been given.  We were made for seasons of celebration and for struggle, and when we learn to embrace that, the celebration after the struggle will be that much sweeter.  Not only that, but we will learn to look at each challenging phase in life as a stepping stone to another season of blessing and harvest.
  Whatever phase you're in, my prayer for you tonight is that you learn to live in each season for what it is.  Take the bad, but then move on to the good.  Celebrate the great, and prepare yourself for the difficult.  I'm celebrating with you!

~K.W.

No Pain, No Gain

  Do you have a struggle in your life that you wish desperately would just go away?  Maybe it's an illness, a difficult person, an internal struggle, or a physical deformity.  Perhaps you have prayed relentlessly and God has not removed the difficulty.  This struggle may have even caused you to question God's goodness at times, so great is the pain it brings you.  I want to share with you something that God has been sharing with me over the last few days through some things I've been reading and a speaker I got the privilege of hearing from last week.  This message might be a tough one to hear if you are still in the midst of a bitter struggle, but hold tight and try to stick with me, because I believe this knowledge can really set you free to live despite what you might be going through.
  There is a book of the Bible called 2nd Corinthians which was written by a man named Paul.  Now, Paul had traveled all over the world preaching the gospel, and he had many accomplishments to tell of.  However, at one particular moment in his letter to the Corinthian people, he mentions to them what he calls a "thorn in the flesh."  He describes to them how this thorn in the flesh torments him, and that even though he had asked God multiple times to take it away God refused, and the reason God gave him for leaving this troubling thing in his life is what I really want to take a closer look at with you.  The apostle Paul says that God told him, "My power is made perfect in weakness."  (2 Corinthians 12: 7-10)  Ok, great, he was a preacher... of course something like that would make sense for him.  He was sent to do God's work on earth, so ya, God is going to use his weakness to do powerful things.   But how does this apply to us?
  Well, I believe that if we are willing to let God work through our weakness and struggle, He just might use us to help others in ways we never dreamed possible.  You don't have to be a well traveled preacher to make a major difference in the life of someone else.  You just have to be willing to let God use you for His purpose.  Maybe you have a chronic illness that you feel is holding you back right now.  What if you have that illness because there's a doctor or a nurse or another patient who just needs to have you encourage them or share something with them that they need to hear. Maybe you are going through an agonizing divorce and there's another person out there who needs to know that you have the same struggle.  No matter what struggle you are facing right now, I believe you are uniquely placed to help someone else in a way that only you can.  You have a strength beyond your natural ability in this area because God is working His strength in your weakness.  Whatever it is you are going through, know that there is someone else out there praying for help with that exact same thing, and maybe they need your story to encourage them.
  I want to encourage you to take the focus off yourself today and the pain you're feeling and start looking for ways to use your struggle to bring about great victories in the lives of those around you.  Believe me, I know this is not always easy, and there may be a lot of days when you still question what God is doing, and there may be days when you just want to sit and have a pity party, but I promise you that if you're willing to let God work through you, you might just find there is a much greater purpose behind your struggles, and I believe that will help you to find joy and strength to carry you through.  I love you, and I can't wait to see your victory!

~K.W.

State of Being

  The words God placed on my heart this morning were, "Just Be."  Hmm, what a profound concept.  Just be.  How infrequently we take the time to just stop, look around us, and be in the moment.  There is something so peaceful about quieting your spirit and taking in a moment.  And I truly believe there is beauty to be had in each moment if we are willing to be still and enjoy it.  When I took the time to just be this morning, I found such an overwhelming sense of joy at God's goodness, the sunlight streaming through the windows, the sound of the frog's water tank splashing, the quiet breathing of dogs happily napping on couches.  Even the dust filtering down in particles through the sunlight had a way of bringing me a comforting calm as I took the time to just be.
  Are you feeling overwhelmed today?  Do you need a few moments to just be?  Often times we can find great revelation in taking the time to be still.  We can get so wrapped up in our concerns for everything we need to fit in the day, but sometimes all that's really needed is for us to just be in this moment to find clarity.  Maybe you need to "just be" today.  Maybe it's a moment to just be with your spouse or child.  Maybe you need to just be and forget those nagging problems for a few minutes.  It could mean taking time to just be and appreciate all the blessings you have that often go unnoticed or get taken for granted.
  Don't let this day fly by you without taking the time to be in the moment, even if it's only a few short moments.  You will find a sense of peace and well-being from taking the time to truly appreciate and just be.  Take a deep breath.  I'm with you!

~K.W.

Got Joy?

  Happy Saturday! Are you joyful today? Is your heart overflowing with gladness? I hope so. I can tell you that the holidays, a new day, the prospect of what's to come always fills my heart with extra excitement. But let me just tell you, joy is NOT dependent on your circumstances. My joy is not because my life is without troubles, because believe me, it's not. No, joy is not a feeling that comes and goes based on our situations.  Joy comes from a deep seated knowledge that God loves me, that He is good, and that no matter what my circumstances look like at this exact moment, He is working all things together for my good.  (Romans 8:28) And this joy gives me strength even on the toughest days (Nehemiah 8:10)

  If you aren't quite sure you believe all that, I challenge you to get a bigger picture of who God is this week.  Dive into His word and see just how much He really does love you. Read through the old testament and see how much God blesses His people. He truly does want the absolute best for us, and that should give us all the confidence we need to face every day with an overflowing joy. 

  Back when I went to a job every day, people often used to ask me at work why I was so happy, and when I told them that God is good and life is good they had a tendency to just roll their eyes. But this knowledge and trust in God's goodness and love for me is an absolute truth that forms the very core of my being. It is foundational to everything I do and every circumstance I face. It's a guiding principle to my life, and I hope you will learn to make this a part of your life too.  

  If you are struggling in this area, I encourage you to check out these books: 

Enjoying Where You Are On The Way to Where You Are Going by Joyce Meyer 

A Daily Dose of Joy by Pastor J.B. Whitfield

and

If Satan Can't Steal Your Joy by Dr. Jerry Savelle 

  All three of these books helped me get a new perspective on life and start living filled with joy. I read them at a time in my life when I was really struggling, and I return to them often when I need a reminder of the reason for my joy. Don't live another day discouraged and depressed with your situation. Start filling yourself with God's joy, and you will always have something to look forward to. Make it a great weekend! I can’t wait to see you succeed! 

~K.L.W.

Head Knowledge

  I want to talk to you today about forgiveness.  And I want to let you know that forgiveness starts in the head, not the heart.  Seems counterintuitive doesn't it?  It would seem to us that forgiveness is a heart issue.  After all, we have to let go of hurts and wrongs and injuries to our feelings and ego and learn to love the offender again.  But what I believe is that, while our feelings may not always want to forgive, we can make a conscientious decision to forgive.  Forgiveness starts with simply deciding you want to forgive, and then saying out loud and in your thoughts, "I forgive them."  You still may not feel forgiving when you say this, but as you begin to tell you head that you've forgiven, your heart will begin to follow suit.  Another great way to grow forgiveness (and this is a tough one)  is to pray for good things for the person who hurt you.  Ouch!  This one can sting a bit... sometimes we want to wish all kinds of evil on people who wronged us, but choosing to hope for good things for them will begin to help us let go of the hurts.  And lastly, if you're a Christian, one of the easiest ways to begin to forgive is to put their offense to you in comparison to your offense to God.  Our sin caused God to give up His one and only Son to die for us.  Often times, when I put the petty little things people have done to me in the light of the grace I have received from God, I realize my grudge is not worth holding on to or even worrying about.
  Little disclaimer here.  I do not believe that forgiveness means you have to open yourself up to a dangerous or hurtful situation or that your trust with that person has to be restored.  Forgiveness is you choosing to let go of the hurt and love anyway, but if the other person is not willing or able to change right now, you do not have to continue to allow them to hurt you.  Just as I might forgive my son for breaking a cup at dinner, that does not necessarily mean I will trust him to have a glass cup at the next dinner.  It doesn't mean I haven't forgiven his previous actions, it just means that the wisdom I have gained from the past experience tells me he is not mature yet and cannot be trusted in that area.  Make sense?
  I know some of you out there have some big hurts, and it may take  lifetime to fully let them go.  Forgiveness is not usually a one time choice.  If you have been majorly impacted in a negative way by someone's actions, you may have to choose over and over multiple times a day to forgive that person.  But I can promise you, the rewards of living a life free of anger and grudges is worth the fight to forgive.  You will experience more peace, not only in your spirit, but in your relationships with others too.  I know first hand the pain of betrayal and loss, and I also know the blessings and peace which come with letting go and living your life in love.  Who do you need to forgive today?  Be brave, make a choice, and tell your mind, "I forgive them."  I love you and can't wait to see the victory that's in store for you!

~K.W.  

What did you say?

Your words dictate the direction of your life.  Sound intimidating?  I know what you mean.  After all, the book of James says that the tongue is the most difficult part of the body to control, and if anyone has perfect mastery of what he says, he is a perfect person.  Well, I can promise you that this is an area I am far from perfect in, but I am growing, and I know you can begin to make progress in this area too.
The Bible says that "Life and death are in the power of the tongue."  (Proverbs 18:21)  Which one have you been speaking today?  Have you been inviting life and blessing into your life by the words you speak, or have you been attracting fear, doubt, sadness, debt, confusion, worry, unbelief, sickness and death?  And before you roll your eyes at me, consider seriously the things you say throughout the day.  You may find your words are the underlying cause for many of the struggles in your life.  I heard a woman say this today, "Storms are so scary, you just never know what can happen."  When she spoke those words she was inviting fear and doubt into her life.  You better believe that when a storm comes she is frightened because she doesn't know what might happen. (And she said it multiple times!)  On the other hand, I used to be terrified of storms, but I started saying to myself, "My God calms the wind and waves; He is in charge of the storm; He directs its path.  I have nothing to fear."  In fact, I went so far as to start admiring the beauty of the storm, and you know what?  Storms no longer bother me like they used to.  I was awakened by thunder the other night and just went right back to sleep, whereas in the past I would have spent all night sitting in front of my computer checking the radar and being sick to my stomach.  This is just one of many examples where I have been able to use my words to direct my mind and my life.  Seem a little bit crazy?  I get it, but there's some real truth here.
If you don't believe me, take a serious look at some of the things you say on a daily basis.  Words like, "I'm so tired; I hate this job; I feel so old; I'm so broke." can cause you to stay stuck in negative life patterns.  Do a word audit on yourself and see how you rate.  You may be surprised at some of the negative words you are spouting without even realizing it.  If you want to see real, positive change in your life begin today to speak words of life, healing, and joy.  And even if you don't believe those good things about yourself yet, keep speaking them.  You will find that your life and mind start to align with the good things coming out of your mouth if you just keep speaking them.  I'm speaking a great future for you, and I hope you are cheering for yourself too!  Speak kindly today!

~K.W.

Lock it In

  Ok, so for some one you out there this message my not be where you're at, and that's ok.  Everyone is at a different place in his or her journey.  Just file this away for the day when you have reached this point.  This message is for those of you who know what it is that you are called to do.  If you aren't sure yet, it's ok.  Keep growing yourself and keep searching.  When the times comes that you find your calling, come back this.  But... for those of you who know you have a purpose or a task to fulfill, I'm writing to you today to tell you to lock in your focus!!  If you know your purpose or calling, it's time to dial it in and get to work. 
  See, here's the thing.  There is an enemy out there that is trying to convince you to wait another day, that there are too many obstacles, that maybe next year will be better, and he knows that eventually, if he can keep you preoccupied long enough with other little things that you will never really accomplish your purpose and be the impact on the world that you were made to be.  Don't keep putting it off.  Zero in on your purpose; make a plan and start pursuing it, and then, be RELENTLESS!  There will be obstacles to overcome, but hang onto your calling with tenacity and passion.  Do not let go, and do not let life take you down.  You were made to soar!  I cannot express enough how important this is.  Do not give up or back down.  If you need a little extra hope in this area, check out the book Three Feet from Gold by Sharon L. Lechter and Greg S. Reid.  The night may get darkest before the dawn, but push toward that light, because when you reach it, there is a whole world of blessings in store!  Not only that, but even more important, there is a whole world of people who need your special gift.  You have something that only you can accomplish!  So if you have figured out what you are purposed to do, then go after it!  Now is the time!  No more excuses.  Go out and live your calling, and run your race with intention.  The day is yours!  Go get it!  I'm with you!

~K.W.

Step by Step

  Ok, confession time:  I spent a good portion of my life telling myself each night when I went to bed, "Tomorrow I will be perfect."  But each day I woke up like the day before, and each day, despite my firm resolution the night before, I was far from perfect.

  Can you relate?  Maybe you, like me, keep hoping that all your life's problems will be solved in one big break through.  But this lottery mentality is the enemy of your progress, and if you really want to move forward, you have to start thinking differently.  

  

  Yes, we all think it would be great to wake up tomorrow and be rich, healthy, smart, and perfect in every way, but the truth is, most of us wouldn't know how to handle such incredible blessings if they were given to us.  It's like the person who goes to get liposuction, only to find that a year later they are back to their previous weight.  Why?  Because this person did not actually change who they were.  They changed their looks temporarily, but they didn't change the bad habits that caused them to be unhappy with their body in the first place.  

  The journey to victory is what prepares you to receive and thrive with the blessings associated with the success you want.  Many of us want great wealth, but not knowing how to handle it, we would inevitable squander it and wind up back in poverty in just a short time.  Many people jump from relationship to relationship always thinking things will be better each time, but the truth is, until we learn to face the problems in ourselves, our relationships will not be better.  It may feel that way temporarily, but the real fix takes time.  Real change, real progress, real victory happens day by day, hour by hour, minute by minute.  Real success is not overnight.  It is built by hard work and consistency, and when the results are finally visible, it may seem like to the outside viewer that it happened overnight, but this is not the case. The person who has truly succeeded and done so brick by brick, with quiet hour after quiet hour of steadfast courage and perseverance will know that their victory was no accident, and this person will be prepared and equipped to enjoy the blessing of his or her success because it has been earned.    

  So don't give up.  Have a little patience, and don't be so near-sighted.  Your victory is out there, but it is a marathon, not a sprint, and it can only be attained by putting one foot in front of the other.  You cannot teleport to the finish line, but the good news is, we're in this together.  I'm running along side you, and I'm so excited to celebrate your success!  Happy Jogging!

~K.L.W. 

Get Some Sleep

  Can I just tell you tonight that you are so important.  You matter.  You have value.  And if no one has told you yet today, you are loved.  I love you, and even though you may not believe it, God loves you too.  You have purpose, and you were placed on this earth in this time for a reason.  Sometimes though, it's so easy to get caught up in all the things we need to do or think we need to do, that we lose sight of ourselves.  We get so busy trying to get ahead that we leave our well-being behind.  I just want to tell you tonight that it's ok to rest.  It's ok to stop and enjoy your life.  I'm not saying to be lazy or to stop chasing your dreams, but I am saying, know when you need a break.  Listen to your body and your spirit.  Some days, the most important thing you may need to do is just take a nap or go for a walk.  Sometimes you may just need that coffee date with a friend or that shopping trip alone.  Don't be afraid to say "no" for no other reason then that you need to take a breather.  Often times I find I am most productive after a day when I took time to refresh myself by taking a break.  Place enough value on yourself to place your needs on the priority list.
  You matter.  And if you won't take my advice, ask yourself, W.W.J.D.?  You know that old quote from when we were kids, "What Would Jesus Do?"  Well, Jesus often took time alone to pray.  Jesus took a nap in a boat in the middle of a stormy day.  Jesus walked in the garden to gain perspective.  Jesus spent time with those He cared about and talked and ate with them.  Resting and praying and friendships and meals did not keep Jesus from fulfilling His purpose, in fact, it could be argued that they aided Him in His mission.  They allowed Him to refocus and to develop relationships and to connect with His Father.  In fact, God Himself took a rest on the 7th day of creation. The book of Ecclesiastes says there is a time and a season for everything, and that includes rest and rejuvenation.  If you are feeling wearing and worn out today, maybe it's time to stop and smell the roses.  Give yourself the time and self love you need to be healthy so that you can be your best self for all the people out there who need you.  I believe in you.  Happy Resting!

~K.W.  

Doing the Math

  When people spend time with you, how do they feel after?  Do they feel exhausted or uplifted?  Do they feel encouraged or dejected.  Something I learned from my mentors is to always add value to other people.  Whatever situation you find yourself in, try to be a giver, not a taker.  This is a tough one, and it's one I'm still working on myself and have a long way to go.  This is one of those life-long learning type things, but it is so worth the effort.  Ever wonder why certain people always seem to be surrounded by great people and opportunities?  You know, those people who just seem to attract good things like a magnet?  Often times it is because these people know how to add value, and they are good at doing it.
  Adding value isn't score-keeping or trying to one-up people.  It's simply the concept of always trying to leave things better than you found them.  Its being the one to complement someone or point out the good in a situation when others are only seeing the bad.  It's investing your time into someone who may not have the ability to give anything back to you.  It's loving others just because they need love, not because we expect something in return.  If we can keep the idea of always trying to add to a person and never detract, we would go a long way towards building lasting relationships and meaningful life experiences.  People don't want to be around a person who makes the feel worthless, but they will flock to the person who gives them value and importance.   Try it out today and see if it doesn't just add more color to your life.  When you live to add value to others you plant seeds which will eventually spring up in a harvest of blessings.  Go out and be a giver today!  I'm counting on you!

~K.W.

Press Pause

  Have you ever had a nagging problem that seems to trouble you repeatedly and you just aren't sure what you should do?  Maybe it's a career choice, maybe it's a major decision about a purchase, a significant other, a move, or a business.  Many times you already know the answer in your heart, but you haven't taken the time to sit and let your inner voice tell you what you need to hear.  Sometimes we are just afraid of what might come out if we take the time to listen, but getting at peace with ourselves and creating harmony in our lives is worth taking the time to stretch our minds and challenge our fears.  
  When was the last time you sat down and really just took time to think, to examine where your life has been, where you are now, and where you want to be?    I strongly encourage you to take some minutes or hours each week to really spend some time reflecting on your life, and if you have a major decision to make, commit to setting aside time daily for one week to ask yourself the hard questions and then listen for the answers.  If you are a God follower, pray about what you should do, and then let the Holy Spirit guide you.  Don't get so busy and let your life get so loud that you miss hearing what you need to.  You might find it counterproductive to stop taking action, but one of the most valuable strategies to use to move ahead in any pursuit is to take a pause and think before you rush blindly forward.  Ask yourself what it is you want to accomplish and what you are doing right to reach that goal.  Honestly assess where you are falling short and create a plan to overcome your obstacles. At first it may seem to you like a waste of time, but carving out moments to sit and meditate and ruminate on your life and all its details can become your most productive times.  Successful entrepreneurs from every corner of the globe in multiple industries tout the importance of planned thinking time and claim it is where some of their best business strategies have come from.  John Maxwell, world renowned speaker, author and leadership teacher discusses the importance of taking time to think in his book, The 15 Invaluable Laws of Growth. There is so much to be gained from setting aside a little thinking time.   
   Take the time today to pause you life momentarily and think.  This practice will start to propel you forward and expand your mind in so many ways.  I'm excited for you!  Go do some thinking!  

Start Small

   Hi there!  I want to pick up where I left off yesterday, and talk about the power of one small act.  I hope this doesn't seem redundant, but quite honestly, I've seen some amazing acts of kindness today, and I've witnessed how much it impacted each person's day, and I want to share my thoughts with you.  Have you ever noticed that when someone goes out of their way to do something nice for you, it has a way of brightening your whole day?  And have you ever noticed that just seeing someone do something nice for someone else can brighten your mood even if you weren't a part of it?  I know there are lots of kindness challenges out there, and sometimes they can seem a bit overrated, but today I got to witness a chain of kind acts, and it was incredible to see the joy on each person's face when they were told that someone they didn't know had done something kind for them.  Even more thrilling was the look of excitement and eagerness on their faces to be able to pass that same kindness on.  And you know what?  All of us who got to see this chain of events were smiling and talking about it all day even though we weren't directly a part of it.
    What I'm saying is this... each small act of kindness you do goes far beyond just you and the person you help.  You never know how you brighten that person's day, and if they in turn will go on to brighten someone else's day.  If you feel that tug on your heart to do something for someone else, no matter how small, I encourage you to do it.  You never know if that one simple gesture will make a world of difference for another person.  So go ahead, make that call, send that text, write that letter, or buy lunch for that stranger.  Don't ignore that still small voice in your heart.  In a world overflowing with fear, anger, hatred and sadness, be the fish swimming upstream.  Start sending out those good ripples today and see if it doesn't just change your life and the lives of those around you.  I'm counting on you to make the world a better place with me!

~K.W.

Start Building

God gave me a very profound thought this morning.  I was reading in the book of Nehemiah.  If you're not familiar with the Bible, I'll give you a short synopsis of what is happening when Nehemiah comes on the scene.  The nation of Israel was conquered by the Babylonians in 586 B.C., and many of its citizens were carried off to become servants in the Babylonian Empire.  However, many years later,  King Cyrus allows some of the Israelite people to return to Jerusalem and start rebuilding the temple.  The work got off to a rocky start because the neighboring peoples did not want to see Israel rebuilt as they feared its people would grow in power and become a problem for them.  So for many years and throughout the reign of several kings, this small group of exiles who had returned struggled to make progress on building the temple and their city.  Along comes Nehemiah.  He was a cupbearer for King Artaxerxes. He felt he was called by God to return to Jerusalem and rebuild the city wall, so he asked permission of the king, and it was granted to him.  

  Now, here's where the exciting part is.  When Nehemiah got to Jerusalem, he snuck out at night and rode his donkey around the walls of Jerusalem to survey all the repairs that needed to be made.  There was a lot of work to be done, few people, and much opposition.  He could have turned back and returned to his cushy job with the king.  But instead, he and the remnant of the people set to work, and it's not the work they did, but how they did it that is key here.  Chapter three of the book of Nehemiah goes something like this,

         "Nehemiah [...] made repairs up to a point opposite the tombs of David [...].  Next to him, the repairs were made by the Levites [...] Beside him, Hashabiah [...] carried out repairs for his district.  Next to him, the repairs were made by their countrymen."  

  And on and on it goes.  The important words here are "next to him."  Nehemiah could have looked at the huge job which lay before him, and the small amount of people he had to help him and said, "No way.  It will never happen."  Instead, they set out to work with each person taking care of building a small section of the wall.  They worked next to each other, each one repairing the spot which was in front of his house.  Brick by brick they worked, each one focusing on his area, and side by side they got the job done.  Ok, great story, but what does it have to do with us?  

  In our world today, we are facing great challenges.  Sometimes it seems overwhelming to rebuild society and to get back to a place of wholeness, but God doesn't call us to rebuild the whole wall ourselves.  We just need to work on our small section, and if we all work next to each other, side by side we can repair and restore our homes, our neighborhoods, our cities, and our world.  If each one of us just begins by helping the people near us, the ones closest to us, if we repair the section in front of our house, and if we do this "next to him, and next to him, and next to him,"  pretty soon we've restored the whole place, and that is a beautiful thing.   Will you start building next to me today?  If we all do a little, we can accomplish a whole lot.  I'm counting on you!

~K.W.

Attitude Adjustment

  Today I want to talk to you about a concept called, emotional stability.  This is the idea that in order to grow and develop into the people we are meant to be, we cannot allow ourselves to be blown and tossed about by every emotional storm we encounter.  Say this with me, "My circumstances do not determine my attitude."  A big part of becoming mature as a person is learning to be emotionally stable, to not be ruled by our emotions, whether that be sadness, fear, anger, passion, or excitement.  People look to leaders to be a source of consistency and to offer a solid response when things become rocky.  If you desire to be someone who people will follow after, in your job, your church, your home, or any other area of your life, you must practice becoming emotionally stable.  This isn't necessarily an easy process, and it's not something that happens over night.  But it can be done. 
  If you're someone who is easily thrown off course by each little stressor in life, then start right now by making a decision to practice consistency.  Part of learning to keep your emotions under control is learning to look at the big picture.  When something starts to upset your day and your attitude, ask yourself, "will this matter in five years?"  If the answer is, "No," then don't let it ruffle your feathers.  Handle the challenge and move on.  It's not worth your time and mental energy.  You will very quickly find that when you begin to get your emotions under control, you free up your mind to work on so many other dreams and goals, rather than just bouncing from one frustration to the next.
  Another great way to build emotional stability is to develop a positive mindset by reading and listening to uplifting books and messages.  The more good things you put into your mind, the more good things will flow out when you are in a challenging situation.  It also helps to surround yourself with positive people who will help you keep your situations in perspective instead of feeding you more negativity.
  Begin today to stabilize your emotions and your life by guarding what you put in and how you look at each circumstance you encounter.  (For more on perspective, see Take a Look Around.)  You'll be amazed at how much easier your life becomes when you live with more emotional stability.  Keep working on you!  I'm rooting for you!

~K.W.

Skipping Rocks

What do you think of when you hear the word, "successful"?  Do you picture a famous actor or actress, a sports star, a model?  How about Mother Teresa or Ghandi?  You might think of Steve Jobs or Mark Zuckerberg  What does it take to become a success?  And who can truly measure whether or not you've achieved it?  Success is not a number on the bathroom scale, although it may be for some.  Success is not the figures in your bank account, but they often come along for the ride. If we base our success on a temporary item, our success will always be fragile, one mistake away from being lost.   After all, what is money without happiness, and what is beauty without health?  You can have the applause of the world but still be lonely, and you can become the wealthiest person in your town and never do anything worthwhile.  So what is it that we should be striving for?  Why are we all working our days away in the rat race we call life?  What do we hope to get out of it at the end?  True success, that which we all desire, is being at peace and fulfilling your purpose.  True success is a commodity which can never be taken from you. 

  I am not saying there is anything wrong with being wealthy or pretty or skinny or popular, not in the least, in fact many times those are trademarks of successful people, but they are not the characteristics which make those people successful.  Zig Ziglar said, "You can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."  You see, true success is being at peace with who we are and what we are, and it means making a positive impact in the world around us.  

  True success might be the stay at home mother who raises up a son who becomes a great world leader or teacher.  True success might be serving in the military to protect your country and your values.  For you, success might be working third shift so you can spend your days volunteering at a homeless shelter.  Not everyone was destined to be on stage, but everyone is designed to be great.  No one can say which part of the body is best, because without each part the body does not function the way it should.  Just because you aren't the heart or the brain doesn't mean you don't have value and purpose.  You were uniquely designed to fulfill a role which no one else can play.  Your success may look completely different than that of the people you see on T.V., in your neighborhood, at your church, your gym, or your job, and you know what?  That's ok.  Don't sell yourself short and fail to see the blessings in where you are.  If you can genuinely sit down at night and know in your heart you are doing the right thing for the right reason, then the rest is all just details, and if you are looking around at your life and realizing you were made to do so much more, then don't stop.  Embrace your purpose!  If that means taking a step back, or a giant step forward, or even making a move no one's ever heard of before, go for it!  Don't chase temporary things, chase true peace and purpose, and only then will you find that you are Successful.  True success does not mean you are content with where you are, but you have the confidence that you are doing the right thing for the right reasons and your life has meaning.  I firmly believe that every person has a purpose to fulfill in this life and that each person is capable of start offing a ripple which can change the world.  You never know how many people will be impacted by the splash of your one small pebble.  

~K.W. 

Stop Wallowing

  Ever have one of those days where you just feel bad for yourself?  Everything seems to be going wrong.  Maybe you're having a marital struggle, a financial challenge, or a health problem.  Sometimes it's easy to start looking around at the difficulties of our lives and before we know it we are wallowing in our own personal pity party.
  So how do you get out of this behavior, better yet, how do you prevent it in the first place?  The answer is actually pretty simple.  Gratitude.  That's right, I said it, appreciating what you have is the key.  Whatever you focus on in life generally tends to grow, so why not give your focus to the good things rather than feeding your problems?  Try this today.  Sit down somewhere and just pause, look around you.  Do you have a roof over your head?  Are your utilities still on?  Is the sun shining?  Do you have more than one pair of shoes?  There are so many things to be thankful for that we often take for granted.  It can be so habitual for us to skip right over thinking about our blessings and go straight to ruminating on the things that we don't have.  Did you make it home from work safely tonight?  There's something to be thankful for.  Do you have a job?  That's a blessing.  There is someone out there in the world right now desperately praying to have something that you take for granted.  Maybe it's a bed, an extra blanket, enough food on the table, or simply a day off work.  Stop magnifying your problems and start instead to fill your heart with gratitude.  You attract what you think about, so if you are always filled with thankfulness for each small blessing, you are attracting more blessings into your life.  On the other hand, if you are filled with an ungrateful spirit, focusing on the negative, and always complaining about your problems, you are probably attracting more problems for yourself.  I've heard successful people say on numerous occasions that we should "treat every crumb like a feast."  This concept of acting as though each small blessing is an enormous gift will give new life to your day.  You will start to see more and more good in each day, and the negative will effect you less and less.
  Begin a new habit of pointing out the good around you and being thankful for it.  Maybe take the time to write a few things down each day that your thankful for.  You weren't designed to live a life of sadness and self pity.  You were made for joy and blessing, and that starts by appreciating the little things.  Get out there and start noticing the good today.  There's a whole lot of it to see.  I'm thankful for you!

~K.W.